So, it is now the season for holiday parties, and after the holiday parties come the Super Bowl parties.

What kind of h'ors d'ouvres are y'all planning on making for the parties? I need help on what to make for my office party which is next Tuesday.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2000

Answers

My wife and I love to entertain at our home with an informal party where guests eat when they want to...what they want to. This is what we do. The only utensils we provide are good, STURDY paper plates, napkins and a shot glass full of round toothpicks (for stabbing things). Here the list of goodies we put out on a table.

A smoked turkey with a knife stuck in it.

A bowl of Baby sweet gherkins. (Small sweet pickles)

A bowl of Hot Baby Garlic Dills (Small spicy, garlicky pickles)

A bowl of mixed black and green (pimento-stuffed) Olives.

A bowl of Ranch Dressing next to a container of Celery chunks and raw cauliflower heads.

A bowl of Lil' Smokies cocktail weiners.

Lots of devilled eggs on a tray.

Long chunks of rat trap cheese and assorted party crackers.

a bowl of devilled ham spread with a plastic knife stuck in it.

A bowl of cream cheese.

Home-made cookies.

A bowl of soft mints.

A small cooler with ice and small bottles of apple juice.

Most of our guests are drinkers, so there's usually plenty of cookies and apple juice left over, but some people don't like to wash food down with scotch (fuckin' wussies) so we provide apple juice.

Sic 'em.

Two kinds of chips and three kinds of dip.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2000

A couple of years ago for one of our Christmas Parties, I made homemade eggnog that actually required me to fluff almost 2 dozen eggs, and (among other things) add real cream and 3 pints of hard liquor--I think it was Jack Daniels, Rum and... augh, I can't remember-- It was so thick, you could stand a ruler strait up in the center of the bowl. I worked on this stuff the better part of an hour and everyone had, at most, 1/2 a cup of it. It was wayyy too rich, and that 1/2 cup probably had about a week's worth of fat grams and 2 weeks worth of liquor.. I only tell you this to warn you against any notion of trying to be *authentic* with Nog for Christmas parties. Go for the spiced mulled Wine. I think you just need red wine, cloves and a crockpot. It's easy! (or, umm, if your office doesn't allow liquor you could do spiced cider).

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2000

P.S. Bubba, I think I've been to your parties.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2000

at the gas stashun ware i work were having a patry!! im bringing some pickled eggs!!!! yum!!!

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2000

The back of a box of Ritz crackers once showed some cream cheese and raspberry jam spread on a Ritz. I tried it and it was surprisingly good for a little snack. I think that would make a good horse doover. Get the best tasting plain cream cheese and raspberry jam that you can find and afford. Mmm... jam....

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2000

I forgot to mention there's minimum clean-up if you do this right. A conspicous garbage can comes in handy. And Gardanna, I hope I wasn't hammered to the point where I forgot that I'm NOT REALLY Errol Flynn.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 2000

These are great, but sort of a pain in the arse. All you need are dill pickles (I prefer Claussen), cream cheese (not the lo-fat kind and not the whipped kind...just regular cream cheese), and ham slices (packaged thin-sliced sandwich ham slices). You cut the pickles into 1/2-inch chunks, and then slice the ham into "ribbons" about the same width (you should get three to four rectangular sections of ham out of each ham slice). Then, you mold around the pickle a glop of cream cheese (this is the messy part, have damp paper towels handy to keep your fingers clean). Last, you set your gloppy pickle thing on one end of a ham slice, then roll jellyroll fashion and stick a toothpick in to secure. They're really, really good, and they go very fast (one of those things that, once you've had one, you can't stop eating them). They're kinda time consuming so better for smaller crowds. Keep them refrigerated until you serve.

-- Anonymous, December 07, 2000

We're having a Super Pretentious Cocktail Party for New Year's Eve, upstairs in The Lounge... so we're planning all these 1940s/50s-era cocktails. Polynesian meatballs. Rumaki. Cheese puffs. Canapes. Puu puus. I'll prolly make some of my bleu cheese stuffed mushrooms (they're quick, easy and good. You can fix 'em ahead of time, and they can be heated in a toaster oven, even. Nicole, if you're interested, I have the recipe for them at my website, www.dwanollah.com... under the Thanksgiving menu). Some cold cuts/cheeses from my favorite LA cheese place, Mr. Marcell's at Farmer's Market. Maybe, like, deviled eggs or Gramma's Porkupine Thingie (I mentioned this when we were planning a "White Trash Party"). And I'll supplement with some kick-ass pre-made stuff from Trader Joe's and/or one of the snobby upscale markets. *disdainful sniff* and *head toss*

Which reminds me... I gotta get that pink plastic serving tray from Gram's storage shed next weekend... and swizzle sticks! Time to make a list....

-- Anonymous, December 07, 2000

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm rumaki. I'm definitely going to try to be there!

-- Anonymous, December 07, 2000

what the hell is rumaki? and I'm gonna be there tooooooo!

-- Anonymous, December 07, 2000

There's always the hollowed out round loaf of bread filled with spinach dip. A perennial fave, to be sure. I make a kick-ass spanikopita and tatziki and I invented a black olive pesto sorta thing we spread on crackers. It's all good.

Oh! Oh! I almost forgot. Nana used to make this spread dippy thing that was awesome. A can of salmon, the cheaper the better, some mayo and a little cream cheese, onion, all zapped together with, this is the key, 'liquid smoke'. It rules. The stuff tasted just like smoked salmon dip. I always thought it would be good in mushroom heads, but that's just me.

So hungry.....thanks, Nicole. Thanks loads. ;-)

-- Anonymous, December 07, 2000

Uncle Bubba's Hot-Buttered Rum variation: In a big mug put two scoops of Buttered Pecan Ice Cream (BlueBell, of course) and two shots of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum. Microwave until the ice cream melts and concoction is nice and warm. Don't overdo it on the heat. Alcohol evaporates at 170 degrees or so. Nutmeg on top with a cinnamon stick for a stir stick. When they first arrive, take their coat and hand 'em one. They'll try to marry you. Trust me.

-- Anonymous, December 07, 2000

Bubba, do you have a yummy recipe for devilled eggs? I'm having a Christmas party too and it would really freak out the few non-English people there if they saw those on the table. I love them, on the other hand! I always make lots of salsa and guacamole with chips- cheese platters with crackers and fruit, the usual nut mixtures- my friend Andi used to make a spinach dip in a loaf of bread (so American and yummy)- The Cypriots also have these really great mini cheese, spinach and minced meat pies that are tasty. I must get that recipe for spinach dip. Does anyone have one?

-- Anonymous, December 08, 2000

Bubba, just reading that recipe makes me want to marry you.

-- Anonymous, December 08, 2000

Thanks, Tracey. Those hot-buttered rums are wonderful.

Jane - My wife says her secret to making great devilled eggs is to add 1/2 teaspoon spicy brown mustard and 1 teaspoon of dill pickle juice (the hot, garlic variety) to a regular devilled egg recipe and then dust the top of each egg with paparika. If you don't have a regular devilled egg recipe to go by, let me know and I'll e-mail you one.

-- Anonymous, December 08, 2000

Klee, rumaki is, like, broiled chicken liver, water chestnut and bacon... I think. I might be missing a vital ingredient....

This topic is inspiring... must go pore over the cookbooks....

-- Anonymous, December 08, 2000

Yes please, Bubba.

-- Anonymous, December 08, 2000

You're going to have to trust me on this one-- I know it sounds questionable, but it is AMAZING. My friend served it at a party last year and I've been pimping the recipe ever since. ;-)

Mediterranean Walnut Spread ("Whether served on bread or pita slices, this spread is an ideal, not-too-filling appetizer.")
1 cup canned garbanzo beans/chickpeas (about 1/2 of a 15-oz. can)
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup lightly packed basil leaves
2 Tbsp olive oil
2 to 3 tsp lemon juice
1/8 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
Toasted thin baguette slices or pita bread slices

Drain garbanzo beans, reserving the liquid. In a blender or food processor bowl, combine beans and 2 tablespoons of the reserved liquid, the walnuts, basil leaves, olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and papper. Cover and blend or process until nearly smooth. (Scrape down sides and add additional reserved liquid if mixture appears stiff.) Serve on toasted baguette slices or pita slices. Store, covered, in the refrigerator up to 5 days. Makes about 1 1/4 cups.
Nutrition facts per serving: 34 calories, 3 g total fat (0 g saturated fat), 0 mg cholesterol, 25 mg sodium, 1 g carbohydrate, 0 g fiber, 1 g protein. Daily values: 0% vitamin A. 0% vitamin C, 0% calcium, 1% iron.

-- Anonymous, December 08, 2000

Dwanollah, don't forget a baked brie for the Super Pretentious Cocktail party. You can buy these frozen - a small wheel of brie cheese wrapped in puff pastry, usually with some sort of chutney or sauce baked inside the pastry, too. Harry and David's has a couple of different ones, and I bet you can find them easily out your way at other places. They're delicious, besides being rather snooty.


-- Anonymous, December 08, 2000

I make a brie loaf for every gathering, and they never make it past the first few minutes. It's absolutely the easiest yummy thing that I know how to make. It's one of the only things I know how to make.

Buy frozen bread dough. Let it thaw. Then cut open the dough and lay pieces of brie inside (cut the white outer part away and only put the delicious middle part in) and then pinch the dough over the top of the cheese so that you cannot tell that there is brie inside of that bread dough. Then bake the bread for however long it says on the package, usually about 30 minutes. I always use butter to grease the bread pan and then butter the hell out of the top crust as soon as it's done baking.

After reading this page I am hungry as all hell and ready to marry several of you. My boyfriend is making pierrogies (surely I misspelled that) tonight and that doesn't sound nearly as good now that I've read all of this!

-- Anonymous, December 08, 2000

Ooh, Tracy, baked brie is one of my favorite things ever! My mother likes to serve it with some kind of chutney. I prefer to serve it with Granny Smith apples for parties. But when I don't have to interact with people for a couple days, the best thing to do is roast a couple cloves of elephant garlic, warm up a brie, and spread 'em both on slices of baguette. You reek for days, but DAMN!

Klee, that sounds *so* good! Wanna make it for the Pretentious Cocktail Party?!

-- Anonymous, December 08, 2000

Then there's always the old standbys, summer sausage and hot pepper cheese, veggies and dips, assorted pickles, cookie platter, cheese ball, (the one with green peppers and pineapple; I've got to find my recipe), 7 layer salads, buffalo wings, meatballs (swedish and sweet & sour), homemade candy (buckeyes, fudge, caramels). My fav is the mini cream puffs from the freezer at Sam's Club. Can you tell we're planning our carryin at work and other assorted Christmas parties coming up next week and I have no time?

-- Anonymous, December 08, 2000

Mmmm, buffalo wings. Mmm, mini cream puffs. Maybe I'll have to go out to the store and have my own private party. ;) The conversation won't be much, but at least I'm sure to like all the food. ;)

-- Anonymous, December 09, 2000