Re: the election, something making the rounds

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Unk's Wild Wild West : One Thread

>From an article in which a Zimbabwe politician was quoted as saying that children should study the US election closely for it shows that election fraud is not only a third world phenomenon...

1. Imagine that we read of an election occurring anywhere in the third world in which the self-declared winner was the son of the former prime minister and that former prime minister was himself the former head of that nation's secret police (CIA). 2. Imagine that the self-declared winner lost the popular vote but won based on some old colonial holdover (electoral college) from the nation's pre-democracy past. 3. Imagine that the self-declared winner's 'victory' turned on disputed votes cast in a province governed by his brother! 4. Imagine that the poorly drafted ballots of one district, a district heavily favoring the self-declared winner's opponent, led thousands of voters to vote for the wrong candidate. 5. Imagine that six million people voted in the disputed province and that the self-declared winner's 'lead' was only 327 votes. Fewer, certainly, than the vote counting machines' margin of error. 6. Imagine that the self-declared winner and his political party opposed a more careful by-hand inspection and re-counting of the ballots in the disputed province or in its most hotly disputed district. 7. Imagine that the self-declared winner, himself a governor of a major province, had the worst human rights record of any province in his nation and actually led the nation in executions. 8. Imagine that a major campaign promise of the self-declared winner was to appoint like-minded human rights violators to lifetime positions on the high court of that nation.

None of us would deem such an election to be representative of anything other than the self-declared winner's will-to-power.

All of us, I imagine, would wearily turn the page thinking that it was another sad tale of pitiful pre- or anti-democracy peoples in some strange elsewhere.

-- (from@other.perspectives), December 06, 2000

Answers

9. Imagine that the self-declared winner was actually a lizard like alien from the planet Voluptarani whoose only reason for running for office on our planet was so that he could impregnate earth-women with his lizard-demon seed.

-- butt nugget (catsbutt@umailme.com), December 06, 2000.

10. Imagine that the opponent who lost the election was the Vice Prime Minister to the most corrupt Prime Minister in the history of the country.

11. Imagine that the leader of the opponent's campaign team's father was the undisputed king of vote fraud in the country for decades.

12. Imagine that the opponent appealed to a sympathetic provincial court to have the election rules changed after the election.

13. Imagine that the opponent's operatives tried to "recount" the votes in secret at one point during their charade.

Imagine that the opponent gave lip service to having "every vote be heard", while aggressively challenging thousands of votes from the servicemen and women of the country who overwhelmingly voted against the opponent.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), December 06, 2000.

With all of this imagining going on it is starting to sound like a John Lenon song.

-- butt nugget (catsbutt@umailme.com), December 06, 2000.

Butt Nuggett-

Do you read slEaZy board much? There's a few of the more... colorful...posters who seem to believe that most politicians are lizard aliens in disguise.

-- Tarzan the Lizard Man (tarzan@swingingthroughthejunglewithouta.lizard), December 06, 2000.


>"...who overwhelmingly voted against the opponent."

Last time I looked, Gore had more popular votes than Bush. As in #2 above.

-- (so@you.say), December 06, 2000.



14. Imagine there is no 'kitchen' :-(

-- sumer (shh@aol.con), December 06, 2000.

You mean there are people who do not believe this? LOL what a bunch of fruitcakes!

-- butt nugget (lizardbutt@youmailme.com), December 06, 2000.

so@you.say,

You should read the WHOLE sentence for true reading comprehension.

Context is a wonderful thing.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), December 06, 2000.

Imaginin' my ass was on a nice hot tropical beach with an ice cold cooler full of beers and a bottle of primo tequila!!!

Wish in one hand,shit in the other...betcha which one gets full first:\

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), December 06, 2000.


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