(With all due apologies to New Englanders ;-))

60 above: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in Maine plant gardens.

50 above: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Maine sunbathe.

40 above: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Maine drive with the windows down.

32 above: Distilled water freezes. Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.

20 above: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats. People in Maine throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Maine have the last cook-out before it gets cold.

0: People in Miami all die... Mainers close the windows.

10 below: Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Maine get out their winter coats.

25 below: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Maine are selling cookies door to door.

40 below: Washington D.C. runs out of hot air. People in Maine let the dog sleep indoors.

100 below: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Maine-iacs get frustrated because they can't start the kah.

460 below: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in Maine start saying...."Cold 'nuff for ya?" (answer: "ayuh").

500 below: Hell freezes over. New England Patriots win the Super Bowl.

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2000

Answers

"10 below: Californians fly away to Mexico."

You jest indeed. At 10 below none of our cars would start and we'd never make the airport.

-- Anonymous, December 05, 2000

500 below: Hell freezes over. New England Patriots win the Super Bowl.

Yeeeesssss!!..we still have a chance :)

-- Anonymous, December 05, 2000

I almost wrote, "With apologies to Peg", but I knew you'd understand ;-)

-- Anonymous, December 05, 2000

I think da Yoopers would even beat the New Englanders at 500 below Zero, īcause it is just a bit chilly. As far as I know they close the windows of their dorms up to the 3rd floor with ply wood to keep the snow out, otherwise it would break in the windows. See ya in da UP. īve been ther, done that !!!

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001