so what weird traditions do your families have for the holidays? What are the stories that are repeated every year over the turkey and stuffing?

There's always the "gravy" story, when my mom and Aunt made some gravy that gave everyone the runs.... and the "green snort" story, the year my sister (I think she was in her mid-teens, braces, akward) started laughing so hard with a mouthful of "green snort" (lime jello, whipped cream, pineapple and some other horrible stuff...I've never touched it) that she snorted it up and out her nose onto the Christmas table. we've called it green snort since then.

Traditions...nothing exciting, we open our presents on xmas eve and before we do, we go out driving the neighborhood, looking at christmas lights...and always when we return home, it's "oh, god, that's blue house up ahead is the most beautiful of all!"

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Answers

It began at easter, that the Easter Bunny would leave not only individual baskets for the kids but a basket for the whole family on the dining room table containing...a coconut. Vaguely egg-like. We loved coconut, and cracking it open with a hammer! So much fun. Now somehow all major holidays have come to involve a family coconut, even Xmas morning.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Every year my family drives to a neighborhood down the road that has the most incredible light display. One of the home's owner is, like, an accountant by day (or something like that) and an Elvis impersonator outside of work. He has lights on every square inch of his house and yard, and he has a pond on the side of his house that he puts lighted boats on, and has TCB with the lightning bolt in lights next to the pond. Last year he put life size statues of Marilyn Monroe, Groucho Marx, and two other classic actors that I can't remember on the top of his roof, and has a santa in a helicopter on the roof too. He also plays oldies music on outdoor speakers. This year when we drove by after Thanksgiving to see if he started working on his house, we noticed he added a huge santa swinging on a rope swing between two of his trees that actually swings. Other houses around this house really go all out on the lights and statues around their yards, so it is so much fun to drive around there. So many people drive into this neighborhood when their lights are on that the local police have to control the traffic, and it could take hours to get through.

Other than that, when I was little we would always go to my mother's parent's house for x-mas eve and open gifts from my grandma and grandpa (except for when we were little and believed in Santa, and my uncle would dress up and give us our gifts), and the next day we would either go to my aunt and uncle's house or have everyone come to our house. But now that my grandmother lives about 2 hours away south and my aunt and uncle live 3.5 hours north, they all meet in the middle and have only x-mas at my parent's house.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

One year on Valentine's Day there were boxes of chocolate on all of our beds- we asked who had left them, and my mother said it must have been the Valentine's Fairy. So the next year a few weeks before, we asked what the VF was bringing, and she looked at us like we were nuts, but we got more candy- it's become a major tradition. I still get packages every year.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Me and The Husband-Type Man have somehow formed the tradition of making compilation Christmas CDs for friends and family members every year. We have a blast for a couple weeks, stocking up on weird, strange, unusual or kewl-rad Christmas music and making a couple different CDs. Our brothers get the stranger/naughtier versions, our parents get more traditional ones, and our friends get a mix of the two. I was way chuffed to find songs from some of the old Claymation specials, and last year everyone got "Heat Miser" and "Snow Miser," among other things. This year, THTM's been downloading from Napster like mad, and we've already got some stunning contributions. I must say, I reign supreme at naming the CDs. For instance, two years ago, I sent my brother "The Big Load in Santa's Sack." This year, (shhhh, Milla!) my pals are getting "I've Got Your Yule Log... IN MY PANTS!"

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

OMG, Nicole, do you live in New Jersey? Near West Milford? My husband's family lives up there and one year recently my brother in law took us over there to see a house that sounds very much like the one you are describing....

~Ginny

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

My sweet mommy has taken up the habit of spilling out some bizzarre family secret around the holidays. We've gotten some doozies in the past few years-she waited until both my brother and I were adults so that we could hear everything at the same time. Now I understand why we were never told much about our relatives.

To help clarify, most of our family lives in Central Arkansas, where they've been forever-and always have been poor. Throw in alcoholism, healthy amounts of drugs, and very little education, and you've got more funny/tragic/terrifying stories than you can shake a stick at. White trash? Hell yeah!

Christmas is just around the corner, will it be another transvestite revealed? I'm so excited I can hardly wait!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

I used to do that! My Christmas mixes were semi-legendary in high school. My favorite was "Hannahrama: The Freak Show Continues." I know of several people who still listen to certain years' mixes, and I was thinking about making CD's this year. I still might.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Robyn...my family has always had a little money and a little education, with the emphasis on "a little" but other than that, I could ditto everything you said. (Your crack about your stable of human ponies on another post did not go un-noted, by the way ;-} ) My father is dead now, but he would always get totalled at Christmas-time on Crown Royal and then decide to take one of his grown kids to task for being a total fuck-up in his estimation. Some of the reasons he gave were comical and have become legendary in our family. Our family gatherings have always had a certain flair that can only be compared to a train wreck. Booze is usually a contributing factor, but with my family you have to get hammered in self-defense. Some of you will understand this. As my brother says: "We haven't had killin' yet...but stay tuned." We always took bets on how long the old man would last until he either crashed and burned in the living room in fron of everyone or went to bed because being horizontal was the the only option he absolutely had left. Now we have to settle for which one of the kids is going to tip the Christmas tree over or which dog is going to piss on it first. We have a tighty-ass sister who is self-righteous and smug to the point of nausea that we try to get as much booze into as possible because she's comical in revealing ways. I'm reminded of the saying "When people come down from their Ivory Tower they very often head straight for the gutter." This year, we're going to try and get her a tattoo while she's in a blackout state.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Ha! Fortunately (unfortunately?) our house is never the actual "scene of the crime", we only get the recap. I think that's why I adore my family so very much-I know all the funny stuff but have been saved the permanent scarring by not having to witness it live. There is a reason my parents fled Pine Bluff, Arkansas before my brother and I developed a taste for homemade liquor and coon hunting. Little did they know that by raising us as plain white bread with only the mildest southern flavor, as adults we relish every eccentricity that we missed out on as kids.

Lest I sound ungrateful, I'm really glad that my parents weren't alcoholics (but a little drinking just might have helped my father's lousy dispositioin). My mom has the occasional margarita, especially when I'm around to encourage her, but it's not drinking that brings on the loose lips-she's just been holding these secrets inside for too damn long and now the skeletons are popping out like those coiled, phony snakes in a magicians can.

I think you should tattoo unsuspecting people as often as possible. It is the holiday season, and that's the gift that keeps on giving. She may never be able to really express her thanks, but she'll always know that you care. Pierce a nipple for me!

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Our only X-Mas tradition consists of trying to put together Little Mister's toys with nothing but a hammer and a steak knife. (Stupid fricking red wagon. Stupid frickin' grandparents...) Then we fight. And drink. It's all good.

Our X-mas is thus, we get the tree and hide it from the boy. We have no decorations up in the house. Christmas eve is just another night until he goes to bed and then we kill ourselves putting up the tree, decorating it, hanging stockings, putting up the lights, hanging cards and garland and all the rest of the decorations and putting out the presents. When the kid gets up in the morning and comes downstairs it is absolutely priceless, the look on his face. Go to bed, normal blah house. Wake up to Who-ville and Mommy still smelling of egg-nog.

Then, Mirth makes me bannock.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

My little sister was born the day before Thanksgiving when I was 11 years old. My mom was in the hospital and my Dad was left to make the Thanksgiving dinner for the rest of us. I guess he didn't know about the plastic bag of turkey guts and left it inside the turkey. It got all melted and smelled really bad, so we couldn't eat the turkey. Then Dad decided to give the turkey to our cat so it wouldn't go to waste. The cat got a turkey bone stuck in his throat so my dad put the choking cat in the car with 3 screaming kids and we went on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride to the vet's office. The vet was closed, of course, but it didn't matter because by that time the cat had barfed on the back seat of Dad's car and the turkey bone was in the barf. We were really screaming by that time. We went home and had macaroni and cheese for dinner. That story got told every year at Thanksgiving and dad hated it. Poor Dad died this year, so that's the only story I will tell about him and the holidays.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Oh Linda, I'm sorry to hear about your dad but I hope you can take some comfort from the fact that your story about him made me laugh a lot. That's priceless.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

At Christmas my mom always ends up repeating the "Christmas in Bahrain" story. The first year we moved overseas all our stuff was still coming over from the States in a container ship. There were four kids and two adults in a crappy, temporary apartment. So we rigged up a crappy Christmas to go with it.

I think the story's supposed to be about how with a little pluck and family togetherness, you can make yourself happy. But the part my mom always forgets is that we were all homesick and miserable.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

When I was little, Christmas Eve we'd all go over to my Gramma and Grampa's; my grandmother made a huge amount of Polish food -- pierogies, stuffed cabbage, kapusta, the lot -- and my family and my aunts' and uncles' families would have to eat in shifts. Then we'd all give my grandparents the gifts we got them, and then they would give everyone envelopes stuffed with cash. On Christmas Day, we'd open our presents and then go back to Gramma and Grampa's for my Gramma's bombass chicken soup. I never realised how different our Christmas Day routine was from everyone else's, but I actually would give anything to have one more holiday like that. I miss my Gramma. Sniff! Gulp! (No, Gwen, I'm never going to stop.)

My first year with Ian, we went to his Dad's for Christmas and then Susan and Jean-Marc brought the girls up from London on Boxing Day, and watching them open their presents was the best ever. I'm so glad we took a lot of pictures. The next year (which was last year), I had to fly home for a family emergency and missed Christmas with Ian and his family, which saddens me now more than ever. But Ian's Dad only gave the girls a few of their presents on Boxing Day, and then drove me and Ian down to London with the rest of them when I got home, so that I could see their faces when they opened them all. It was so typically thoughtful of him.

This year we're going down to Ian's sister's in London, and it's going to be difficult. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said that for once I probably won't be the only one who bursts into tears during the course of the day (as I am wont to do on holidays when I miss my family and friends back home).

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

This one time we had this dog and we were all sitting in the living room watching our old Hoffman TV when the dog decided to make sure everyone knew the tree was his. That dog yelped so load the neighbors came over to see what happened. It was funnier than hell for a bunch of kids. I was about 7 or 8 at the time. That dog never went near a Christmas tree again. james

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Dawn: "... IN MY PANTS!"

Ha!

My mother makes up holiday traditions every year. I used to think I was going insane, now I just roll my eyes and go along with it. When I went home for T-giving, we ate at a place we'd never eaten at before, and my mother chirped about how it was our "family tradition" to eat at this place, and we were going to join hands and tell stories or anecdotes before eating.

I headed straight for the bar, y'all. And I don't really drink.

One strong vodka drink later, I was able to nod and smile at all the "traditions" I'd miraculously forgotten being unearthed. Good gravy.

I don't generally deal with the holidays well. I moved away for a reason...and I do love my folks, truly. We just...okay, we are of different religions, we have different political beliefs, our friends would hate each other, I detest sports and my brother and SIL talk non-stop about FUTBAW!, I generally don't enjoy gorging myself, etc. Oh yes. My mother collects crabs, apples and Hummel figurines. I'll grant her this: she's easy to buy stuff for. My SIL collects scatter pins, crosses, angels, pigs and bulldogs. I don't get it, but then again, they don't see why I would want to go and buy "yet another" CD. They give me hell for not liking to wear pastels, for Pete's sake. We're simply from different planets. I love them dearly, but I run out of "safe" conversation within two hours. Then I get ribbed for being quiet for hours on end. The blood running down my chin from my bitten tongue--as I attempt valiantly to be tactful--is not appreciated. It's all stuff that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, you know? There's no point in arguing or discussing. I'm all for accepting and trying to find common ground instead.

In the past, we baked sugar cookies, did the Santa Rituals (detailed above--some things are apparently widespread), and wrapped "trick" presents (we're all clever at guessing at a glance what is in a package, so we try to disguise the shape, weight, size, sound of things). We all get a stocking. My mother (Oops, I mean SANTA) fills ours and I go to the store and buy her some old-fashioned stocking stuffers like she had when she wa little: fruit, walnuts, wooden toys, etc., and then I add more modern stuff like a note tellingher she has some champagne in the fridge and her favourite cosmetics and toiletries. 'Santa' often puts holiday KLEENEX in our stockings, people. My family is seriously bent.

My mother is a school teacher. She passes on a lot of the gifts the kids give her. I get homemade pencil holders and the like every year. You can never have too many reindeer-shaped pencil cups made out of popsicle sticks and pom-pons.

I have a rep in my family for being a good gift giver. I always manage to find something the giftee wants and is thrilled with but either didn't think to ask for or forgot that they'd expressed interest in, months earlier. I also make fine art and goofy crafts and I offer chits for labour-- i.e., computer software lessons or ironing, heinous chores the recipient hates or can't do on his or her own.

I am, conversely, pretty hard to shop for. I like stuff, but I'm not terribly materialistic. If I don't have it, I probably don't want it. I don't like people to pick out my clothes or jewelry and I have end up having read most of the books I'm given. Or I get five pairs of gloves or six pairs of amusing animal-shaped footwear that I wouldn't be caught dead in but must enthuse over. It gets to be funny. Last year it was my brother's Shirt Christmas. He got about seven. I also gave nearly everyone homemade potpourri and ornaments and cookies in addition to store-bought treats, so by the time those same-shaped packages made the rounds, the recipient knew what was in it.

The best part of Christmas is that I get my last cold of the year over with while my mom is nearby to spoil me with mother love and hot beverages. Invariably I run like hell until a day or so before Xmas, and then when I finally have a few days off, I get sick. I am also generally looking forward to a new year by then, even if things have gone pretty well all year.

And, oh yes, my mother puts a live crab on her head and plays polka music and Christmas novelty songs and old standards to Jewish grandparents in nursing homes. Seriously, we have two "major" nursing homes near her condo and she hits both of them on Xmas afternoon to spread holiday cheer. It had escaped her notice that one of the homes was predominately Jewish--probably because, as a group, they were always more interactive and enthusiastic about the change in routine. And it isn't every day that some weird woman and her friends, with live crabs on their heads, show up on your doorstep to play polkas. Vey iz mir, to have such a sweet but clueless mother. ;) Sometimes, before she heads out on her rounds or while we're preparing food in the kitchen, she'll coax me into singing The Drifters' version of "White Christmas" with her. The rest of the family just LOVES that. Heh.

The day isn't complete until my brother has an allergy attack and starts sneezing every thirty seconds, bless his little heart. Merrrrr-y Christmas.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Milla, do you have a website featuring some of your more bandwidth- eating tomes, or do you just post them here?

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

One year, my dad decided to put little toys into the Easter baskets of me and my brother. One of us got a Fat Albert figure and the other got a Dracula. WTF? Well, they were fun, and we appreciated the hell out of our dad because he'd bought us such cool and offbeat things.

The only real tradition I can remember from holidays was when I was a kid and we'd haul all the Christmas trees into the street on New Year's Eve night and hide and laugh while cursing motorists got out and had to drag them back onto the sidewalk in order to pass. We did that every year, a whole bunch of us, and I'm about positive my parents knew about it but still let us have our fun. :-)

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

God thankyou for Christmas. I love it. No I hate it. No I mean I love it because I can buy presents for whatever little kid is around and get Christmas Angels from the local bank or Boys and Girls Club and buy cool things for little kids who may not get anything else for Christmas. But I hate Christmas for all the G&% D*&n exploitation and worship of the dollar. The merchandization of Christmas. When I was little we didn't have too many presents. Maybe three apiece. But the baking and the family and the neighbors and getting Christmas cards and singing silly christmas songs ....and....getting to see the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Stewart. It was always on right before Christmas. And the waves were always good between Thankgiving and New Years. And the fire in the fireplace. But that was before the malling of America. The commercialization of Christmas is what is weird to me. James

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

Jackie, I know exactly how you feel around the holidays. When I lived in the States I used to spend Christmas with really close friend's family but I would still get really homesick and tearful. We'd eat, they'd take me to some real weird service in a storeroom with other Born Agains (interesting...), and then she and I would go out to the pub and get pissed. I miss her.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

I have tears running down my face from the cat choking on a turkey bone and the mom putting live crabs on her head. Those visuals will stay with me for a long time!

Thank the gods for liquor and sedatives, how else would we survive our families?

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Don't anyone get the wrong impression...I wouldn't trade my family for the world. It's just that we're a pretty wild bunch who don't approach anything with restraint. I wouldn't say any of us are alcoholics...binge drinkers? Definitely. We go months without a drink and then OOPS! Drink everything in sight. Everyone stays over, so there's no driving involved. The old boy wasn't a nasty drunk, he just felt it was his fatherly duty to "instruct" one of his children occassionally and the rest of us would keep his glass full and aggravate the situation by encouraging his observations. You have to be there. It's a family game of: "Okay...who's the sacrificial goat this time?" Nobody in the family took him seriously. But then again, our idea of fun may strike some as depraved psychoanalysis.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Milla SHOULD have an entire webpage devoted to Weird Mom Stories... damnation!

I've also found that a few special foods're finding their ways into holiday traditions... I make kick-ass mashed potato soup for Tree Decorating Night, and Evil Hot Cocoa (melted chocolate chips, heavy cream, vanilla, etc.) on Christmas Eve.

My psycho Uncle Bobby, if he's over at Gram's house, usually offers up a bowl of buds after dinner. Nice, Bobby. Nice.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

I agree: Milla should be writing on her own site.

I hate traditional Christmas pudding; I don't like the boozy, fruity flavours together, and I don't like warm custard poured over it. Yuck.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

millie has a web site??? where???

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Jackie, I ignored the question the first time you asked it for a reason.

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2000

Well, unless you're going to share your reason, don't tease us! You should totally start your own site.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

Oh man, my stepfather's side of the family sticks so rigidly to their boring, blandy, Christmas Eve ritual. I always joke that I can guess exactly what they're doing at exactly the precise time without being there. Gladly I don't have to as I disinherited that side of the family many years ago [see the Cousins forum]. Here's the abridged agenda: conversation while women prepare food, say prayer, eat food (always the same: lasagna, snowball, cherry cheescake, veggie sticks, cubed cheddar, baby dills, various dips, iceberg lettuce salad, deviled eggs, some kind of jello dessert with fruit bits, xmas cookies and chocolate), sing carols, grandchild reads the xmas story from the bible, open gifts (everyone picks someone to buy for on previous new year), conversation, go home by 9:00, 9:30 max. The family doesn't drink so it's awfully boring. Of course the next day my stepfather always got drunk on peppermint schnapps and passed out in his recliner by the time we were done opening our gifts from "Santa". Can you tell I have a lot of familial love?

Now it's just a laid back Xmas with my brother, my spouse and I. We made each other stockings so we fill them up with lots of candy and stuff and open our presents while eating junk food. It's good.

This year a snag has been thrown into my idyllic holiday because my mother-in-law is coming to stay. Last time she visited was years ago and I'm still getting over it. We should have a post-holidays forum. I know I'll have stories to tell.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

For a few years in Louisiana, a few of the kids had moved out of state and would return for Christmas. So we set up two trees, one in the formal front sitting room so it could be visible from the street and so we could put presents for the out-of-towners there and not clutter up the rest of the house, and one between the living room and the library where we'd pile up all the gifts for everyone who still lived in town. (Our house was large, over 3100 square feet.) Everyone would buy everyone else more than one gift to put under the tree(s) so our gift piles grew intimidatingly high (there were eight of us buying each other presents). Christmas morning would arrive and we'd have a blast opening everything up. It usually took us a couple of hours, and because it was southern Louisiana it sometimes would hit 80 degrees outside by the time we were done, sapping a little of the yuletide spirit, to say the least.

I've spent each of the last 10 Christmases at my wife's parents' home in Chicago. They are from Eastern Europe and Catholic so the traditions took me a little getting used to. For one thing, there's a formal Christmas Eve dinner. We had a special dinner in Louisiana but it wasn't dress-up formal and I seem to recall it was on Christmas day, though I could be mistaken. Then we open the presents Christmas Eve night after the dinner, which just seems so wrong to me, seeing how we always were bursting with anticipation for the morning in Louisiana. Then, we all go to the midnight mass (held at 11pm, don't you know) and exchange cards and pleasantries the next morning. In Louisiana, we weren't terribly religious, so we didn't do church on either day, or night for that matter.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

Hey, Paul! Ain't Catholicism fun! I always like to hear horror stories or observations from non-Catholics. What a crack-up. You can't say anything that could touch what a raised-in-it backslider could. You know why they call 'em Nuns? Cause they don't get none. Cardinal Catholic rules: 1. If you enjoy it...it's sinful.

2. If it tastes good...spit it out!

3. If it feels good...you're going to hell!

4. If it hurts...it's either good for you or you deserve it.

I could go on, but I won't. I went to Catholic school. It made me depraved and cynical. I'm grateful.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

I converted to Catholicism about seven years ago and I like being Catholic. Yes, I've heard the jokes, but they don't offend me. :-) My experience with the Catholic denomination hasn't left me riddled with guilt or with any kind of hard feelings about nuns, but my wife was born and raised strictly Catholic and knows where that's all coming from. She still manages to laugh about it, though. :-) And I just read on the "all I want for Christmas" thread about Nunzilla and now I want one!!

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

Well, unless you're going to share your reason, don't tease us!

I'm shy.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

Oh, yeah, Milla.... *snicker*

And Paul, my brother has not only the Nunzilla, but a "boxing Nun" puppet, with these little levers inside so she can pummel people with her boxing gloves....

And I once heard tell of a "singing Jesus on the cross," a la Billy Bass and Hip Swingin' Santa, but I refuse to believe such a thing could exist... even though several folks claimed they'd seen it....

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

Dwanollah, I've seen lots of boxing nuns. They're funny! I bet this Nunzilla rocks. I've always thought the singing bass plaques were tacky and this singing Jesus sounds equally so, if it actually exists. :-)

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

See, I *wanted* the punching nun, but he couldn't find one, so I'm getting Nunzilla instead. :) I'm very happy with the tradeoff.

My family is Catholic and we all went to Catholic school as well, but unfortunately the only sibling who will be attending Christmas this year is a fairly religious one, so I might be alone in my appreciation of the sparking nun. I really fail to see how Catholic school can't instill even just a *little* cynicism into someone... then again, my sister is wacked out in whole other ways, so there you go. :)

I've heard of the Singing Jesus too. I really hope it's true.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

Do ya'll remember the Smother's Brothers song?

I don't care if it rains or freezes,

'Long as I have my plastic Jesus...on the dashboard of my car!

There he stands all big and hairy

Holding hands with the Virgin Mareeeee...right there on the dashboard of my car!

CHORUS: Of my carrrr! Of my carrrr!

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

Paul, I said I was grateful. Depravity is it's own reward.

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

This all reminded me to order the "Buddy Christ" dash ornament-remember from the movie Dogma?

If you don't know what I'm talking about: http://store.yahoo.com/jsbstash/budchrisdass1.html

Oh I'm definitely getting Nunzilla too.

-- Anonymous, December 01, 2000

Oh, the Buddy Christ! If I'm not careful, I'm going to have a collection of things like this... just the Buddy Christ and then I'll quit, honest...

-- Anonymous, December 01, 2000

Every year my mother stumbles upon some new and terrible way to screw up those 'take 'em out of the freezer and bake them rolls." There's been "burnt so bad we use them as hockey pucks," "perfect on the outside and frozen in the middle," "burnt on the outside and utterly gooey in the middle," and my personal favorite "all around so doughy that they can be molded into fun animal shapes and later fed to the cat..."

-- Anonymous, December 02, 2000

Thank you, Jackie. Now I somehow have to find perogies and stuffed cabbage in my small prairie town at 8 o'clock at night. Thanks. Thanks loads. (Is the Iga still open? Frickin' 'Mama's' is closed....') I am so buying you an accompaniment clock for the holidays now.

-- Anonymous, December 02, 2000