November 27, 2000

My Personal Recount

By RICK MORANIS

While we're talking about recounts. . .

I think I may have done better on my SAT's. I also think I won the New Jersey state lottery last week. I think the bank miscalculated the mortgage rate and payment schedule on the co-op loan for my six-room, fourth-floor apartment. I also believe it is actually a nine-room unit on the 12th floor.

I believe God created the world in eight or nine days. I think my cholesterol is lower. I think that my zip code is one digit off and that I deserve more frequent-flier miles. I think I was served only five oysters at the Three Seasons yesterday. I think I overtipped.

I think I may have had fewer moving violations on my newer car, with more cylinders and fewer miles. I think I'm taller. I think I read a lot more and watch much less television I think I have more channels.

I think I may have been a Beatle. I think I have a fever. I think everything I own is still under warranty and all my expiration dates are wrong. I think pi is slightly off. I think I hear everything in Dolby. I think I'm justified in thinking more highly of myself.

I think I bought Yahoo stock much earlier. I think I sold it. I think I birdied the 18th.

I think I overpaid my taxes and underreported my personal expenses and charitable donations. I think the refund is way, way overdue.

I think much more separates the men from the boys. I think men are from Mars and women are from a galaxy far, far away. I think brunettes have just as much fun.

I think, therefore I am more.

(Rick Moranis is a writer and actor.)

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), November 27, 2000

Answers

I think brunettes have just as much fun.

Most certainly, WE do. :-) snicker *hee hee*

Thanks Eve for the article. Ps, I actually see who wrote it this time.... smile

-- sumer (shh@aol.com), November 27, 2000.

I think my W-2s are incorrect, reporting way more than actually received.

Too funny!

-- Maria (anon@ymous.com), November 27, 2000.

'sumer,

Yep -- we DO have as much fun. Actually more, I bet. In fact, I think the blondes have always recognized this. Yeah -- ya know, that's why they had to come up with a slogan in the first place; they needed the "boost". They knew who REALLY was having most of the fun. And they couldn't STAND it. :)

Maria, so sad to hear. Maybe that automatic payroll deduction/contribution to the Bush campaign is still kickin' in. Well, looks like you can stop now. I think. :)

Oh, no...looks like I'm pickin' up that habit again of plastering those smiley-faces behind everything. Somebody STOP me! :)

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), November 27, 2000.