Do you have a lot of cousins and are you close to them? Are they the black sheep of the family?

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Answers

I have 5 first cousins. Two I haven't seen in almost 20 years. Three that I see occasionally when I go back to CA to visit.

My family is the only one that isn't screwed up.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

I have several cousins, and I'm going to go visit my favorites for Thanksgiving. They're a bunch of hicks, and I love them all. Way more fun than the stuck up pricks on the other side of them family.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Does just porkin' 'em count as close? Or do you have to marry 'em?

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Oh God, LOL Bubba. I know all about that since I'm from the Ozarks. Actually, it's a myth that they like to perpetuate down there, like the Hillbilly one, for the tourists. I have a bunch of cousins that I am pretty close with. It's like a pyramid, a few normal ones on top, moderately screwed up in the middle, and completely insane on the bottom. I won't say where I fit, except to say that I'm perfect :)

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

And if the cousins do marry and then divorce, are they still cousins?

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

I have tons of cousins. My father's first cousins and their offspring have formed a "Cousins Club". They have barbecues and parties through the year. They have even ousted a few members! I'm probably only close to a few of them because we live far away and have different interests.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

I have a ton of cousins (first, second, first once removed, etc.) and I am close to a lot of them. I think of them as one unit ("The cousins are meeting for dinner on Thursday.") Our annual Thanksgiving tradition is to meet at the bowling alley after dinner, and act like braying jackasses towards each other when we get bad scores. It is a lot of fun.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

I think I have two cousins. I think. Two? Three? I don't know. I might have more, I suppose, but these are the only ones I know about. The last time I saw them, I must have been only five years old. We're not close with any of them. I, in particular, am not close with any relatives outside of my immediate family (siblings and parents).

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

On my dad's side, I have eleven. Four of them lived with us and two of them lived in the same neighborhood, so those are the ones I'm closest to. On my mom's side, I have at least three that I know of, but they've always lived far away. I've only met one of them, once.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

elena, that Thanksgiving ritual sounds like FUN!!!

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Six cousins from my mother's side, fourteen from dad's. I don't think I could pick any of them out of a lineup. We moved around too much, and so did they. Lots of military-types in my family.

My husband's family stays in very close contact with cousins. He can't stand them, though, so it's not a real great thing.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Hell, I thought the ONLY reason you HAD cousins, was for home-grown sex education. I had 4 girl cousins; they were all older by a year or two and when we were little we'd get under the porch and play Doctor Weenie. My next door neighbor (actually, it's across the pasture) is a male cousin and we see each other almost every day.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

You see each other for Doctor Weenie, you mean?

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Heh. He ain't my type. I have bad habits but beastiality ain't one of 'em.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Ha! That was great.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

I have about 45 first cousins. My parents both came from large families. Only a handful of my cousins are remotely close in age to me because my parents were in their 40s when I was born. A lot of my cousins have kids that are my age. Actually, I only have five cousins that I keep up with. The rest I wouldn't recognize even if I had a clue where they lived or what their names were.

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000

iha ve alot of cousins cuz mas been around the blokc a few times!!! i think some of them married each other. once i licked one my cousins but ma put a end to that reely quick!!!!

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000

Hey! I have a famous drag racing cousin. I can qualify for two threads at once. Something about a brush with a brush with fame and cousins. Gary Scelzie from Fresno California is one of the top Funny car racers around. Sorry Floo but he's hitched. I don't see any of my cousins. My folks didn't hang with them ever so I've only met some of them a few times. I know one rodoe's and a couple live in Hawaii. James

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000

I have A LOT of cousins under my stepfather's side. However, my brother and I are the black sheep of the family so we don't see them. Which is fine cause they are all super blandy and/or screwed up. We're the black sheep cause we're not Born Again Christians and the rest of the family is.

I have cousins under my mom's side but a lot of them live in Barbados and since my mother is the black sheep of her family we don't see them. I do have a really good relationship with my mom's sister but I don't like her daughter (my cousin). She's a year younger then me and incredibly spoiled and annoying. I visit my aunt but haven't seen my cousin in years. It's funny cause I'm a lot like my aunt and my cousin is a lot like my mother. Apparantly my aunt was a lot like her aunt. Does that mean that if I ever have a kid she'll be like my mother? NOOOOOO!

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

I have a TON of cousins. My first cousins (who I usually call "my cousins (yes, THOSE cousins) are the famed Hanford residents. I love them both dearly, actually, and goon and fawn all over their children (but don't tell anyone... I have a reputation to maintain), but strongly disagree with their values and lifestyle choices (namely things that aren't in the best interest of their children's safety). And neither is particularly smart. I mean, I went to visit last week, and I mentioned that Cousin 2's baby was "so solemn!" She thought I was saying he wasn't "a good baby"... she didn't know what "solemn" meant. They never read- well, the ocassional magazine. They are very sexist in their gender roles... they cook, the husbands fix the cars. They also treat their spouses/mates/boyfriends like extra children instead of partners. They think college is a waste of time. They think feminism is "silly."

My 2nd and 3rd cousins are innumerable, and there are quite a few, um, "characters" among them. I have three stripper cousins, one hooker cousin, and more drug-addicted cousins than I can count. One cousin owns a strip club; he's one of the more "successful" cousins. One of my favorite cousins is a cop here in LA, but man, does she have a drinking problem.

And frankly, *I* am the black sheep of the family. All my cousins had babies and got married very young; none had any desire to go to college. I was the first person and the only woman in my family to even GO to college... and I constantly hear "do you really like to READ *all* those books?" and "you mean you went to college MORE even after you already went?" and "but you have to write all those papers!" I'm the only one who hasn't had children... and doesn't really want to. I'm the only one who's travelled more than 300 miles from place of birth (and wasn't in the armed services in order to do so). At family gatherings/holidays, they all think I'm a weirdo because I'm not into matching kitchen towel sets and read things even if "you mean you don't HAVE to read that for a class?" Onerous.

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2000

I don't have a lot of first cousins -- eight on my mother's side, four on my father's side -- but when I was growing up I always thought we were the black sheep, because all of my mother's brothers were pretty rich (one designed his own palatial home and its foyer is a Japanese garden with a little bridge and an actual tree growing in the floor; when my mother asked him, 'Won't the roots bust up through the floor someday?' he was like, 'Maybe!' I should totally go visit them just so I can take pictures of the tree for You Grow Girl). My Dad's sisters were both married to multi-millionaires (one was one of the highest executives at Ford before he retired, the other owns his own wood products company) so we were SERIOUSLY destitute compared to them. Plus my father and mother had both been married to other people before they married each other -- after knowing each other two weeks - - and by all accounts their first spouses were psychos, so I think a little less was thought of each of my parents for that, and my mother always thought that that feeling was passed onto myself and my brothers as well.

Now that I'm grown up I still feel a bit less worthy, especially compared to the cousins on my father's side. When I went home last year I spent the night at one of my cousin's houses, which is 6000 square feet and gorgeously decorated. The bedroom I slept in was bigger than the house I live in here. My cousins themselves never made us feel inferior because we weren't as rich as them or because, well, our mother is psycho, but I think my grandfather may be more proud of the richer ones. But since my grandmother died in 1996 and a few other family tragedies, I'm much closer to my cousins and aunts and uncles, for the most part. When I was home last, I remember being totally shocked that I actually felt like those people cared about me, and thought it was a shame that it took me 22 years to realise it.

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2000

Erika, bowling was very fun, despite the fact that I ripped one of my nails (easy to do when you are hurling a bowling ball), and the cousins were as fun/crazy as they normally are.

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000

I have 3 cousins on my mother's side, and 6 cousins and 2 stepcousins on my father's. The mom's side cousins are all much younger (the youngest is two, and the cutest thing ever- we just spent time together at Thanksgiving and it was great). My dad's side cousins range from a month younger than me to 4 years old- we hardly ever see them, though. One of his brothers is schizophrenic, and his ex-wife just barely let him see the kids again- when he was in the hospital, she didn't want anything to do with any of his family. We couldn't really blame her. The other brother's kids lived out of the country for years and years- so we're not very close. I think the cousin who is my age is married and has a kid now, but I'm not sure. That's kind of sad.

-- Anonymous, November 28, 2000

I have 10 first cousins on my mother's side, and none on my dad's, and frankly, I wouldn't recognize them if I ran over them in an SUV...my mom and her sisters are not close for many good reasons, including the one that both aunts are loonytunes.

Unfortunately, the "don't associate with them, they suck" reasoning does not apply in my husband's family. There are TONS of cousins, all of whom are only nominally firing on all cylinders, and all of whom have a tendency to Get Up In My Business every...single...family...party...

And none of them read. Or write. Or do stuff. Or thrift shop. Yes. Hubby is the black sheep.

Thank god.

-- Anonymous, February 04, 2001

Hi, Kethrai. I'm surprised to find you here. I didn't think you ever read my site or anything.

-- Anonymous, February 04, 2001

Welcome, Kethrai! I'm very pleased to see you here.

-- Anonymous, February 04, 2001

Of COURSE I read your site, Gwen!!! You talk about Walmart, flea markets, and thrift-shops!!!

-- Anonymous, February 05, 2001

Oh, okay. I was just weirded out for a sec because I'm friends with so many people whom you dislike.

-- Anonymous, February 05, 2001

You know Hitler, Jim Carrey, and Keanu Reeves? :)

-- Anonymous, February 06, 2001

Are those the names you have given them?

-- Anonymous, February 06, 2001

Oh, for heaven's sake, I MEANT Adolf Hitler, leader of the Third Reich, Keanu Reaves, Terrible Actor, and Jim Carrey, Annoying Actor, all of whom peeve me. I do not give people coy nicknames when I actually dislike them.

Isn't this ancient history? I came here to bitch about SUV's and talk about Walmart....if your agenda is stirring old hash, feel free to email me?

-- Anonymous, February 06, 2001

How do we know that isn't your agenda? Why should we trust you?

-- Anonymous, February 06, 2001

Just remember that some of us happen to drive SUVs and are not ashamed of it.

-- Anonymous, February 06, 2001

Duck Bubba!!! I feel a cat fights about to erupt!!! James

-- Anonymous, February 06, 2001