Your Fantasy Party

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You have suddenly won an all-expense paid party at a local hotel. Your guests will be flown in and put up at said hotel and all their expenses paid as well. Keep it intimate, under 30 people. Who do you invite?

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Answers

Let's see, there's dog friends from out-of-state whom I only see once a year, local dog friends, my sister, and all my smart-ass friends. I'm pretty boring, I wouldn't invite anyone famous. I'd just like to have a good time without worrying who's going to wash the dishes.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

I remember reading in the paper a few years ago where the cops had to go to James Brown's house in a affluent section of Atlanta because of a report of gun fire. It turns out the Godfather of Soul got all fucked up and decided to start shooting things off his own mantlepiece and was letting the guests take turns, too. My kinda party! The man's in his 60's and still carrying on.I remember wishing I'd been there. When my wife and I were younger we threw parties that would literally scare the dogs and they'd hide. Lots of relatives present. Hey, if you ain't partied with wild-ass Irish catholics, drug-crazed college types and crazy drunk Indians, it'll be hard to understand Stevie Ray Vaugh's "Don't Bother Knockin'" in the complete sense.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

I wouldn't want Famous People at my party because they would be wondering "Who the hell is this Babs and why the heck am I at her party".

So I would invite my pals, only we would have better food and booze than we usually can afford. Oooo - and maybe fireworks.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000


The members of Duran Duran (including John Taylor) and all my Psycho Duranie Friends. The expenses cover the high-grade caviar and the mass bottles of Stolichnaya vodka. And the massage oil. C'mere, Simon....

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Stevie Ray Vaughn. I must dig out my cds. I lived in Milwaukee, and was one of the fortunate people who got to see his last gig with Robert Cray and Eric Clapton. We cried for weeks after his chopper crashed. I'd invite all my old friends that I never get to see because they live in odd places and play Stevie Ray all night.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000


Ditto with the friends thing. And some family members, too. Not all. :-) Celebrity-wise, I'd invite at least every member of the band The Cold, which has been defunct for quite a while. There's got to be others, though I don't know who. Some celebs seem really cool but you just know it would be awkward to have them at a party in your honor.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

I'd invite the same people I've been inviting to parties for years. Good friends and family who like to have a good time. My parents were partying fools and the tradition has continued. I'm going to go play my Stevie Ray Vaughan CDs now too. Although I did not see his last concert, I was also fortunate to see him in concert not long before his death. I remember hearing about his death as I was driving in my car listening to the radio. I was stunned. So sad.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

I saw Stevie Ray Vaughan in a strange double-bill with Berlin. It was odd, but the good part was that he was the first part of the double-bill (Talk Talk opened) and I was able to leave after that and not have to sit through all of Berlin. I don't think there was any danger of Berlin and Stevie doing an impromptu jam session to close the night, either. :-)

One of my favorite quotes is from Dennis Leary: "There is no justice: we lost Stevie Ray Vaughan but we can't even get Jon Bon Jovi to ride in a helicopter." Mildly tasteless, as you'd expect from Leary, but funny, too.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000


We can have dead people, too? Oh my. That complicates things. There's a whole list of not-with-us-anymore greats--like Dorothy Parker--that I'd love to invite.

I think I'll stick with living people. Otherwise I'll have to rent out the whole hotel and someone might make a stank comment about that.

Out of the 20 or so people I correspond with daily, probably 10, tops, would make it. They're busy people. But let's say 13 to be on the safe side.

So it's up to me to invite interesting people? Well, I know the Gallagher Brothers aren't invited, they're too volatile. I don't want to pay for brawl- related damages. And I'll pass on serial killers and TV actors.

Hmmm. Okay. Here's my list:
Jarvis Cocker, musician.
Margaret Atwood, writer.
David Bowie (he's wealthy enough to pay for Iman's expenses if she wants to come too).
Nick Hornby, writer.
Neil Gaiman, writer.
Courtney and Petey from the Dandy Warhols. (I might have to pay for their girlfriend[s] to attend because the boys are bratty "pay for me" rock whores, though.)
Gabriel Byrne, actor.
Alex James, musician.
My ex-BF, musician.
Shirley Manson, musician.
Kate Bush, musician.
Cynthia Heimel, writer.
Berke Breathed, cartoonist.
Stephen Rea, actor.
Johnny Lee Miller, actor.
Brian Eno, everything.
Bryan Ferry, musician.
Douglas Coupland, writer.
Neal Stephenson, writer.
Willima Gibson, writer.

Dwannie claimed the Duranies already and maybe if I'm good she'll invite me to her party, so I'll pass on inviting them as well to mine. Hee. I'd probably grab a handful or two of our local musicians, artists and poets since most of the celebs would be way too busy to attend my feeble little bash and most of our local musicians, artists and poets would REALLY appreciate a free meal.

That's the best I can do off the top of my head.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000


why do you all ways talk abuot the durans?? dont you like any one else? just wonderng

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000


Yes, Milla... you are, in fact, one of "my Psycho Duranie friends." Can I come to your party, too?

Floosie, the sun rises and sets on Duran Duran. They are the greatest group in the whole wide world. If you doubt me, I'll be happy to send you a detailed thesis (under 50pgs) explicating why and how. And I'll solicite testimonial from the aforementioned Psycho Duranie friends." Simon LeBon would make strawberry jam out of Kathie Lee, so HA!

What would a Gwen's Forums party be like, I wonder...?

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000


Raucous and quite wondermous, I would imagine, Dwanollah. Kinda like the Doctor Hook song "Freakin' at the Freaker's Ball." Ya'll. "The FBI is dancing with the junkies...

all the straights boogeyin' with the funkies...

Across the floor and up the wall,

freaking at the freakers ball...ya'll!"

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000


I'd absolutely LOOOOVE to have a Gwen's Forum party. There are so many cool and interesting people that post here. The only bad thing about it would be that I'd feel like the dorkiest, most un- interesting person there. Hmph. So, Gwen...whadda ya think?

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

I think it sounds good. Y'all line it all up and send me an invitation. I'll bring a casserole!

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Oh Gwen, I was hoping I could try your especial enchiladas. :) Can we talk you into whumping up a bunch of those, too? We'll bribe you with Sanrio goods...

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000


'floosie'--Reading Is Fundamental, kiddo. :) I don't think I've mentioned Duran on this forum more than twice and in the post you responded to, I listed probably a dozen other musicians.

It beggars my imagination, truly, to have to come to this conclusion, but you must be confused. Just goes to show that there's a first time for everything.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000


Floosie? Confused? Na-a-aw. She's just trying to make friends, Milla. Talking about something she knows you like.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Milla, maybe we should abduct Floos and do a Duran Brainwashing on her. Think of the fun!

If Gwen makes enchiladas, I'll make stuffed mushrooms. Who's bringin' the music? What're we listening to? Other than Dur- Okay, I'll stop.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000


Um, if it's a Gwen's forum party, there's only one band we can listen to. I should think y'all would realize that.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Gravel, sand and hot oil? As in Pavement?

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Thank you, Bubba.

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000

If there's a Gwen Party with y'all, I am THERE, no matter if Pavement's playing or not. :-)

(Yes, Gwen, I'd do that for you. LOL)

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000


i knowd who here i would'nt invite!!!!!!!

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000

milly i was talking to dwanette not you

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000

Dwanollah, doing a Duran Brainwashing would require me to have my heart into Durevangelism. And frankly I haven't got the heart to get really pumped up about it these days. Or much else. I don't take it personally anymore when people have crappy musical taste or dismiss good bands without giving them a fair shake. Life's too short; I'm too busy.

Besides, if you invited Simon to anything, how will anyone else fit in the same room with him and his enormous ego? Come on, woman! It has its own zip code these days (bless its heart). *hee! * Between Warren's Biceps, Simon's Ego and Nick's Shoulder-M'-Pads, the room would be packed to capacity...and we MUST have room for many tables bearing exotic cheeses and chilled Stoli. (But no shrimp. It stinks a room right out.)

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000


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