I'm sure we've heard all this before. The only thing Shepherd could have done in the circumstances but good on him for still letting rip. I wonder whether it will make any difference???? History suggests NO with these type of players.

But a United insider told me: "Marcelino was summoned and the chairman really let rip.

"Harsh words were spoken by the chairman - words I have not heard since he told Ruud Gullit in no uncertain terms to sort out last season's mess or go.

"The chairman had his Geordie hat on and he spelled out to Marcelino that the club were not happy with him.

"But at the same time the chairman was positive and he told Marcelino that the past was forgotten and the only way was forward.

"And he reminded him that 18 months ago he was recognised as one of the best central defenders in Europe."

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Answers

I can see it now...

Shepherd: Ah, Elena, please have a seat.

Marcelino: Que?

Shepherd: Erm, ah...have-ya-a-seat-os...reet there, mate.

Now, the Board and manager are concerned that you have yet to make any real recovery from your injuries. Particularly, it's dissapointing that you felt unable to play while your Channel No.7 nail polish was drying. Later you reported to the treatment room complaining of "white flecks" in your nails. After this, I understand that you failed to train because you had a small burn on your hand from "serving extra hot tapas" at home.

Marcelino: Que?

Shepherd: We feel that you are not making enough of an effort to be available to play for Newcastle United, and are not fulfilling the terms of your contract.

Marcelino: Que?

Shepherd: Furthermore, I hear that you have developed yet another injury...a thigh injury...(indicated area concerned on self)

Marcelino: Amperio hora sí, desarrollé esa lesión mientras que golpeaba lejos en su vieja mujer el otro día. Tengo que decir que ella era una endecha fabulosa, incluso si ella se quejó por la carencia de la atención usted la dio. Ella era un poco un animal y mientras que despedirla alrededor filtró mi músculo... el que está en mi pierna yo significa. Ho del ho de Ho

Shepherd: Erm...quite. Anyways, we want to see you back on the training pitch by the end of the month, or there'll be hell to pay for. D'yer hear me...get playing or get packing.

Marcelino: Bien, compañero. Guarde su peluca encendido! Si usted no calma abajo de usted se hace lesión. Consígala? usted mismo lesión? Ho del ho de Ho. Nunca mente. Habría podido ser una parte posteriora del cómico casera.

Shepherd: Oí eso....smart arse...

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

I thought FS was very conversant in Spanish. "How pet, d'ya fancy a sh@g?" being one of his more frequently used phrases..........er, allegedly.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Bobby, Howay man give us a translation (the alta vista translator aint too good)

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

For those of the Espanol tongue...

Shepherd: El amperio hora, Elena, tiene por favor un asiento.

Marcelino: What?

Shepherd: Erm, er...tenga una derecha del asiento allí, amigo

Marcelino: What?

Shepherd: Sentimos que usted no está haciendo bastantes de un esfuerzo de estar disponible para jugar para Newcastle unida, y no estamos satisfaciendo los términos de su contrato.

Marcelino: What?

Shepherd: Además, oigo que usted ha desarrollado otra lesión... que lesión del muslo... (indicated el área referida en uno mismo)

Marcelino: Ah yeah, I developed that injury banging your old woman the other day. I must even say that she was fabulous, even if she was complaining about your lack of attention. She was like an animal and her efforts injured my muscle... the one in my leg I means. Ho ho ho.

Shepherd: Erm... absolutamente. Anyways, deseamos verle detrás en la echada del entrenamiento antes de fin de mes, o el theréll esté infierno a pagar. Usted me oye... conseguir que juega o conseguir el embalaje.

Marcelino: Alright mate. Keep your wig on! If you're not careful you'll do yourself an injury. Get it? Do yourself an injury? Ho ho ho. Never mind. I could have been a comedian at home.

Shepherd: I heard that...elegante fondo

All the above is fictional...just in case Clarky's mate gets bothered ;-)

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Oh how you're interviews have been missed, Bobby! Good one!

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

Hey, hey, That's brilliant Bobby.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

How man Bobby, Ah neva knew ya spoke English!

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Gus

Que?

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Will Marcellino be in the squad for Sunday's game?

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000