OT-Thanksgiving Humor-Not quite Mike the Headless Chicken, but close

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I think this came off FRL last year...but can't recall exactly it's origin. Do you recall Kritter?

May you each have a Blessed Thanksgiving, and don't worry about that Turkey; he will survive until Christmas

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop

My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop

Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow

and he told me there was something I had to know

His look and his tone I will always remember

When told me the horror of...Black November

"Come about August, now listen to me

Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three

and soon you'll be thick where once you were thin

and you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin

And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed

In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head

Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink

and scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink

And then comes the worst part, he said not bluffing

she'll spread your ceecks and pack your rear with stuffing"

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat'

I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat

and decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked

I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked

I began a new diet of nuts and granola

High roughage salads, juice, and diet cola

And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes

I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half

And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed

But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath

As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death

And sure enough when Black November rolled around

I was the last turkey left in the entire compound

So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap

I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap

She held me today, while sewing and humming

And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming!"

-- Aunt Bee (Aunt__Bee@hotmail.com), November 20, 2000


How sad. I think I'm gonna cry

-- cin (cin@cin.cin), November 20, 2000.

LOL,That is a good'ern B,will mail off promptly to several I know will enjoy. Thanks.

PS-Sorry Cin,but I can't help it,I'm still chucklin'.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), November 20, 2000.

I'm gettin' hungry...

-- dinosaur (dinosaur@williams-net.com), November 21, 2000.

ROFL......I LOVED it AuntBee.

Thanks for the humor. I'm w/the capn on this one.

Deano, pass me a thigh guy.

-- (shh@aooool.omc), November 21, 2000.

Nice one!! Will have to pass this one on to co-workers.

Cin - I'm a thigh-guy..........we'll probably have to rumble over it!!

Come to think of it, I'll take a leg too.

Ya know, if ya flip that bird upside down (breast down) to bake it, the white meat will be nice'n'juicy too........


-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), November 21, 2000.

Must have sand between my ears......

Typed Cin and was thinking Sumer........

My apologies. I'd rumble with boaf of ya anyway for that thigh though!! :-)


-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), November 21, 2000.

Deano's a leg and thigh man =)

-- cin (cin@cin.cin), November 22, 2000.

Tavern Serves Up Turkey Testicles

HUNTLEY, Ill. (Reuters) - A delicacy unlikely to grace Thanksgiving tables -- turkey testicles -- were gobbled up by the dozen at an Illinois tavern on Wednesday as part of the pub's pre-holiday tradition.

Patrons of the Parkside Pub in Huntley feasted on more than 800 pounds of the nuggets that had been deep fried in a secret batter created by proprietor Mark McDonald, who began serving testicles the day before Thanksgiving nearly two decades ago.

"They taste something like a mushroom," bartender Martha Kagel said amid the noontime hubbub. "I've had a couple already. They're good."

Hoping to satisfy an expected crowd of 3,000, McDonald purchased more around 30,000 of the high-fat testicles from an Iowa turkey farm, which normally removes them from inside the birds for export.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), November 23, 2000.

Don't tell me -- McNuts, right?

-- I'm Here, I'm There (I'm Everywhere@so.beware), November 23, 2000.

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