Which way would you like to die? (Because I'm in a really cheery mood, honest!)

No, the gun topic got me thinking about this. Someone said that in Hong Kong, most crimes are committed with knives, bludgeons, pipes or other things, not guns. And I thought, 'Damn, I think I'd rather be shot than bludgeoned to death.' But, you know, neither of those are especially attractive options.

What do you think would be the best way to go?

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Answers

A heart attack in my sleep.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

But is it possible to sleep through a heart attack? Wouldn't you wake up and be totally scared and in pain? This is what I worry about.

I think maybe I'd like to slip into a coma and then just die. But I've already told my best friend that she would have to come sit by my bedside and make sure my eyebrows are well-groomed and that I have makeup on and everything.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

I would prefer to be driving my car, and then be smashed into and immediately killed by a big truck driven by a guy who'd just gotten drunk with his company's CEO and staff at a meeting. That way my husband and kids could be set up for life.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Even in death, you're always thinking of others, Gwen!!!

I want to die like Nicole.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Erika, you always want to do everything like me! What are you, like Single White Female or something?

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Peacefully in my sleep. Totally unaware of it. I don't want any pain. Right now I have no husband/kids to worry about, and my company's life insurance will cover my outstanding debts and pay for a pretty kickass funeral.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Peacefully in my sleep also.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Spontaneous human combustion. One second you're here, the next you're a pile of ashes.

And people will always wonder if you're really gone, like Elvis and Andy Kaufman.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

I've just read a book called The Horizontal Instrument about a watchmaker whose wife dies of dementia. It's beautiful and really sad, but brings up interesting points about what time means. (read it) Her memory fails her slowly deleting her self and eventually her brain forgets how to perform automatic functions. I suppose I could rule out that as a way to go. I quite like the truck scenario, which, in this bloody country is practically an inevitability.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

In your sleep is the way to go. My dad died this year. He was 75 years old and active up until the end. The day he died he had gone to a party at the club house in the Senior Citizens complex where he lived. Then he went to Costco and bought a bunch of stuff and then he cooked himself some mighty fine pasta and mussels in garlic and butter for dinner(my sister thinks that's what killed him, but the doctor says it was a heart attack and that he did not appear to suffer). This was great for him and at his memorial service many of his friends told me that they wanted to go just the way he went. There was a real down side for those of us left behind, but, we just keep thinking about what a good way it was to go for him. I want to go fast and not be a burden to my family. For most of my adult life I have had a creepy, irrational fear of being crushed to death, so I really, really don't want to go that way.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

My grandfather (who was a sheriff) said he wanted to live to be 99 and then get shot by a jealous husband.

My father (in an attempt to top that, I think) always said he wanted to die from "sexual excess" while my mother rolled her eyes behind his back.

Me? I ain't going if I can help it...and you can BELIEVE that. I enjoy an orderly life (sort of) but planning my exit looks too much like tempting fate to me.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Having very strenuous sex with two young girls and after I have amazed them with my abilities and sexual prowess I die in an exhausted sleep with them in my arms. What? What?! Can't an old man dream?! Sheesh! Ok. For my wife and daughters sake I'm out in the desert asleep and have a huge stroke and the next morning another camper finds me dead, clutching my wifes picture with a love note to her. That better?! Now I'm dead and they're rich. OK?! Old Guy

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

I used to work with a young guy who died of a heart attack in his sleep. His wife reported that it was swift and he appeared to have never awakened. Other than the completely catching all your loved ones off-guard and therefore perhaps unprepared, that's the way to go.

This sucks. I don't want to think about this anymore.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Okay, okay. Just so my toe tag reads: "O.D./Racquel Welsh"

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

I don't want to die. I want to be here for the Second Coming.

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000

I had a distant relative die in her sleep, on her proch swing, cat on her lap. Isn't that PERFECT? There was nothing to indicate any trauma, heart attack, aneurysm, etc., she just stopped breathing. I would LOVE to go that softly. If I had to die violently, I would want to be shot - and I hope whomever does it has good aim. I would HATE to drown, be burned or knived. Just let it be QUICK. I really worry about being hit by a car - we have an epidemic of pedestrians getting killed here. You can bet I adhere to crosswalks and proper lights, but some drivers are such cell phone yammering, yellow light gunning a-holes, doubtful that will protect me!

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000

In my sleep (or with a cat on my lap, that did sound nice).

Or during acrobatic sex at age 95. A girl can dream.

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2000

I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I am terrified of being stabbed, burned, or shot. Nothing painful for me, just quiet and peaceful when the time comes.

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2000

I also have a terrible fear that my death is going to be violent. I don't know why I feel that way or how it will be. I just feel it. I have a very calm, non-violent life. However two very close friends died in a swimming accident last year and they always said that they knew they weren't going to make it to 30 and no one wanted to believe them. Sometimes people just know...I don't want to think that I know. Like everyone else I just want to die quietly.

-- Anonymous, November 17, 2000

i fell liked i alredy died cuz of brett :( when will it go away???

-- Anonymous, November 17, 2000

I suppose I wouldn't mind a violent death if it were over with quickly. It's the "suffering until you expire" stuff that sucks. I'd like to minimize my suffering, please. :-) I'd hate to be crushed to death or stabbed and left to bleed dry. If you're gonna murder me, get it over with already. Damn.

-- Anonymous, November 17, 2000

I know it sounds sappy, but I want to die at the same moment as the person I love so that I never have to live a moment without him.

And Floosie, I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time! I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but just trust that someday you'll meet somebody ten times the man Brett is, and you deserve that much.

-- Anonymous, November 18, 2000