Notice of Revocation of Independence

greenspun.com : LUSENET : TB2K spinoff uncensored : One Thread

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect anybody as President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories including New Jersey.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with the following acts:

1. Look up "revocation" in the now official Oxford Dictionary ($75). Start spelling English words correctly.

2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen"

3. Start referring to "soccer" as football

4. Declare war on Quebec and France

5. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason

6. Close down the NFL. Learn to play rugby

7. Enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their names before you eat.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday, this has been replaced with November 5th

9. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required to take 6 weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks.

10. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect the change immediately.

11. Report to our Consulate General in NY - M Wragg - for your new passport and job allocation.

12. Have Meg Ryan report to the Prince Andrews Bedchamber.

13. Add the Royal insignia to the top of the Washington Monument - and the Queens Christmas speeches to the Lincoln Memorial.

14. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead call it the National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!

Her Majesty the Queen in Right of the Americas

-- someone (islaughing@you.haha), November 14, 2000

Answers

Do we get James Bond too?

-- (hmm@hmm.hmm), November 14, 2000.

Hail to the queen.

-- FutureSHock (gray@matter.think), November 14, 2000.

The President is still Bill Clinton until January 20th.

And, until a couple of decades ago for a couple of hundred years, the transfer took place in March.

In retrospect, the 120 day wait to have the new Congress of Representatives resolve exceptions to a smooth transition of power, that was replaced with a 60 day wait due to our trust in the reliability of technological advances and the moderate stability of two centuries, may not have been a good idea.

It appears the people who created the system appears to know what the were doing in this situation.



-- Mark (hutsell@technologist.com), November 14, 2000.

"Do we get James Bond too?"

Can it be the Sean Connery James Bond?!?! (please, please!!)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 14, 2000.


Can it be the Sean Connery James Bond?!?!

Is there any other James Bond?

(Sorry. Letting thing drift off-track. Please continue.)

-- I'm Here, I'm There (I'm Everywhere@so.beware), November 14, 2000.



Not in my mind there isn't.

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 14, 2000.


A different vesion of this memo is the subject of An amusing piece from the UK at http://hv.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=00450v

-- No Spam Please (nos_pam_please@hotmail.com), November 16, 2000.

Moderation questions? read the FAQ