Thought you'd like to know I've just eaten a tube of NUFC smarties. I was gutted, I couldn't even pretend they were from another team as they only do Premiership clubs.

If I ever get another black and white tube I will save it for you as I'm sure they wouldn't stick in your throat as much as they did in mine!

-- Anonymous, November 13, 2000

Answers

Obviously a faulty batch, as they are supposed to taste bitter to makems until they finally choke themselves to death.

Actually, you should contact David Attenbrough on your discovery of a primate that can open a sweet box and talks.

-- Anonymous, November 13, 2000

At random pick him out 3 packets and see if the lid tops have the letters B, S and M. That'll confuse the primate.

-- Anonymous, November 13, 2000