Lettters from home

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Dear Born Liberal. I Is Yo Momma. We Kuddin afode no botion when tha doctur tole weunz bout yo kundishun, Havin to feed all yo haf bros and sisturs an play tha lottery too. Wich is why we sole you to them rich hollwude white folks. But times is betta nowadays since the govmint tooken me offa welfar an give me this here job as a voting commisar. They paze me by tha vote. That there Mr gore is a genleman and a schooler. anyhow Ize wundrin ifn youd lack tu sell me yo vote? We paze in cigerets annd got lotsa kools. Yo Momma, rawanda

---------- Dear Born Liberal. I got yo note bout tha lection done bein over. mr, gore says it don make no difrunce, we gonna keep on a votin till he wins. I gots me seral of them bushel basket size balut boxes he done lef here with me to fill up. They is a bunch of us doin this so you can probly get a hole carton of them kools just here in this precint. yo momma, rawanda.

Dear Borne Liberal. Ps. I just talked to mr, gore. He says if'n he caint get enuff votes to wip that cracker bush he caint pardon yo daddy. also yo brother Born Stupid wants to no if you can drop him off sum absentee baluts at the prison? these folks is a wurkin me way to hard, i may have to call jesse. yo momma, rawanda.

Dear Borne Liberal. I called Jesse and he says we gots to keep a stuffin these balut boxes till the lectoral colege meets. I thank that will be roun christmas. We may have to go outa state sum too. I giss I can stik with it that long cause mr. gore says he gonna make me head a tha Doe and I'll be gardin all our nuklear sekrets ifn he wins. He done got me a assistant name of chong or sumthin like that. Jesse says next wekend we gonna take a break and have a big shindig downtown. We get o keep everthang we can tote off. my fangers sure is sore frum punching these holes. I caint unnerstan why he wants me to just duble punch thhe bush tickets now, last week it was tha uther way aroun. these white folks is crooked as a snake. yo daddy bill was the samme way. I gots to talk to mr jennings now so I let ya go. yo momma, rawanda.

-- Independently Impoverished (isthatapickleinyour@pocket?.com), November 13, 2000

Answers

Dear Borne Liberal. I called Jesse and he says we gots to keep a stuffin these balut boxes till the lectoral colege meets. I thank that will be roun christmas. We may have to go outa state sum too. I giss I can stik with it that long cause mr. gore says he gonna make me head a tha Doe and I'll be gardin all our nuklear sekrets ifn he wins. He done got me a assistant name of chong or sumthin like that. Jesse says next wekend we gonna take a break and have a big shindig downtown. We get o keep everthang we can tote off. my fangers sure is sore frum punching these holes. I caint unnerstan why he wants me to just duble punch thhe bush tickets now, last week it was tha uther way aroun. these white folks is crooked as a snake. yo daddy bill was the samme way. I gots to talk to mr jennings now so I let ya go. yo momma, rawanda.

-- Independently Impoverished (isthatapickleinyour@pocket?.com), November 13, 2000.

Dear Bone libral. mr. jennings tole me that if anybody asks you don no me. I aint never been to arkansaw. I don no nobody named bill. I nevur herd of you. Yo brother Born Stupid don no mr. gore either. an you haddn voted in yeres. do you thank a sony is bettur than a panasonic? what is a molitov kocktail? mr. gore had some mean lookin white folks with him today. they was drinkin lotsa vodka an kep callin me comrad. he says they is gonna be overseein the rest of the votin. yo haf sistur just had her tenth baby. nashika that is. you may not member her, she is the tall skinny one. i got to run down to the licker store for mo vodka. Yo momma, rawanda

-- Independently Impoverished (isthatapickleinyour@pocket?.com), November 13, 2000.

Dear Born Liberal. Mercy child we had a big time today!! Weall gathured up downtown and this fella name Karville laid out tha plan fo us. He say they gonna be a buncha sekrit agents dressed up like KKK down roun the korner. but since they all is from tha justice depatment we don hav ta wurry none bout them. miss reno done tole them not to shoot at us. Anyhow somethin went bad rong cuz soon as se come up to em all hell broke luse. best as I kin figger some real KKK musta slipt in amongst them cause they started in a shootin rite off. Lukily they was a buncha jewish folks betwixt us an they took the most of it. A cuple of black folks carryin republican signs got hit two tho. somme black suberbans halled off them KKK folks, but the news repoters didn't get no film of that. mr. jennings was there so it'll be on tha news tonite . after thhha shootin we chunked our molitov coktails and looted all tha stores downtown. I got me a vcr an some golf clubs. the fire was still burnin when we left. we didn see no police. I gots to go, they is some feller name a dewitt here to talk ta us. yo momma, rawanda.

-- Independently Impoverished (isthatapickleinyour@pocket?.com), November 13, 2000.

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