My wife is a Northern Cheyenne from Montana and hispanics walk up to her in the store, etc. and ask her in Spanish where things are. She doesn't speak a word and I end up answering them. They give her a funny look like she's uppity or something. I wear cowboy boots even with a suit, my friends and relatives call me Bubba, and I support gun rights. Many people take me for a redneck/racist/rightwing gun nut. But I'm a lifelong liberal Democrat, educated, my wife, children and granchildren qualify as "brownies" to some people, and I support gun rights because a world where only the cops, gummit and criminals have guns gives me a chill. How have you been misunderstood?

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2000

Answers

I double majored in English and Women's Studies, but I never mention the Women's Studies part. When I used to tell people, a lot of 'em took that as their cue to start making nasty comments about how they felt about feminism, reeling off stereotypes of how they perceived feminists, offering me unsolicited advice about how I wasted a lot of time and money to get that degree, and - here's the "being misunderstood part" people would assume that they knew how I felt about everything remotely related to women EVER because of the degree.

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2000

Because I'm tall everyone assumes that I play or have played basketball. I hate basketball.

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2000

I looked a lot like Barbie's brown-haired friend in High School, and because I was skinny and large-busted people assumed that I was an "easy mark". I got called a slut, even when I had never been kissed, or even been out on a date.

Now, because I am overweight and stay at home with my kids, people assume that I am lazy and or stupid. It really bothers me. I had an undiagnosed medical condition that made me tired and depressed all of the time. It also lowered my metabolism, so even though I worked out and starved myself, I gained weight. People would say things to be encouraging or informative about how I could lose weight and get healthier, or just say mean judgemental things. Now that I am getting treated for the disorder, and my metabolism has expanded I've lost 30 pounds in the last year. People will say things like "You are looking so good! Are you dieting and exercising?" Sometimes I tell them about the medication, and other times I just say "no", and let them wonder.

Trees

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2000

oh im all ways mis undertood. expecialy by some of the preverts on this board and by soome of the hoity toity poeple here.

floos

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2000

All the time Bubba,

Cos I have long black hair and dress like a highwayman, people assume I sleep in a coffin (or Sherwood Forest), and just have to be some kinda metalhead. When I explain that my dress has to do with a bit of style (most blokes fall way behind the lasses in this regard these days) and my musical tastes extend past Iron Maiden and the Sisters Of Mercy, people look gone out. So I dress like a Goth, does that mean I can't smile occasionally, have a bit of colour in my cheeks and attend a Nadine gig?

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2000

James, Floosie is taking about us again. I can can only speak for myself, but I've only had warm, urgent feelings toward you... you know, like an older relative. A stepbrother, fer instance.

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2000

People have told me that I am eccentric and I don't know what they mean. But, my mother tells me that people tell her she is eccentric and I know exactly what they mean. I wonder what this all means?

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2000

Right there with ya, Nicole. I grew a lot taller during junior high school and I kept getting "Wow, you must play basketball." Nope. "Well, you should because you're so tall." How about coordination? And I suppose I should have put on a little weight, too, because I was damn skinny, but I guess they all overlooked that one little fact.

In high school, I hung out a lot with the dope-smokers, dressed like them, listened to a lot of the same music, but I was the strictest tea-totaller you've ever met. Still, with my long hair and questionable choice of friends, I was lumped in with them and people made lots of assumptions about me. Too bad, because they were a lot more fun than the preppies and the jocks.

Deja vu: I'm finding some people are surprised when they finally learn I'm a conservative Republican, because I apparently don't display all the outward trappings of such an individual, whatever those may be. But something about me makes people, if they had to guess, guess wrong. I guess that's not really a bad thing, and I don't get upset about it. I laugh. :-)

Something else that makes me laugh is the look on people's faces when they learn I was born and raised in extreme southern Louisiana but I lack an accent and a red neck. :-) I'm very proud to come from Louisiana, so this always cracks me up.

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2000

Paul...you hung out with the dopers, but you didn't inhale? Dos this mean there's a political office in your future?

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2000

Oh hell no, Bubba! LOL I have plenty of other skeletons in my closet that will keep me from ever running for anything. Nope, I never inhaled (still haven't), but it wouldn't take much digging to turn up stuff I'd really rather not have exposed. :-)

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2000

I hope I'm not *misunderstanding* the question but I would say rather than being misunderstood, you're asking about being pigeonholed in a hole you don't fully belong in, or to put it succinctly, being stereotyped.

If I've been typecast in the past, either it didn't make a big impact on me, or it didn't register on my radar. I do remember one time in high school, though, I found out some guy had thought my father was a preacher. Yes, my parents were very strict and very religious, and my last name was Prichard (kinda close to "preacher"??), and my dad was (is) a physicist (which starts with P!!), but he's not and never has been a preacher.

Now that I think about it I guess that would be a misconception about my father, not about me. Well, that's the best I can do.

-- Anonymous, November 09, 2000

Sometimes when I try to speak Spanish i feel misunderstood. Maybe it's because I only speak in nouns...

-- Anonymous, November 10, 2000

Sure! I think that some people assume that because I'm friends with someone they have a disagreement with that they should direct venom and criticism my way. It's all the more fun when you only find out about the childishness motivating the snarky behavior *months* later. However, that happens extremely rarely because most people don't have a grade school "pick sides" mentality like that once they reach adulthood. Or, if they do, they are still able to keep their dislike of one person from coloring their interactions with someone else who has been uninvolved and who has no interest in their squabbling.

Work politics. Gotta love it. (Well, politics in general. Pfft.)

There are far too many people who cannot grasp shades of grey well, or who indulge in simple judgments because it is easier and requires far less mental effort. These are the people who say things like "all X people are bad" and "all Y people are good" because they are too intellectually or emotionally lazy to take the time to judge things on an individual basis. Lame.

I'm able to be friendly with people with whom I have a disagreement because I don't take opinions that are not lockstep with my own as a personal affront. I'm also able to be friendly with people who are close friends of people I have a good reason to dislike because I have the sense to figure out that jsut because someone is a jerk's friend, it doesn't automatically make them a jerk as well. They probably won't ever be a CLOSE pal / intimate of mine, but I don't punish them for the sins of their friend(s). Life is too short for such pettiness.

-- Anonymous, November 10, 2000

I get the grocery store questions, too, Bubba, though not in Spanish. People are constantly assuming that I work in the stores I frequent, it's weird. At first I thought it said something about my choice of clothing (maybe I dress in smocks?), but my husband assures me it's because I have an air of competent helpfulness. I often *will* know what aisle the fabric softener is on...

-- Anonymous, November 10, 2000

bobba you are rilly a prev get some help you sdicko!!!!!!!!!!!! ew.

-- Anonymous, November 10, 2000

Floosi, you just point out those perverts here and me and Bubba will take care of them for you. James

-- Anonymous, November 11, 2000

Yeah, sweet thang...James and I are your buds. We're just teasing.

-- Anonymous, November 12, 2000