How can I get him to notice me?

-- Anonymous, October 23, 2000

Answers

I'd set y'all up on a double date with me and Space Ghost, but SG and I are trying to keep our relationship on the down low for now.

-- Anonymous, October 23, 2000

I'll have my boyfriend Aquaman pass one of your love letters to him when they see each other at the Hall of Justice.

-- Anonymous, October 23, 2000

Ha! Thanks, y'all.

-- Anonymous, October 23, 2000

Now this is truly enlightening. All along I thought the only plastic toys discussed on this forum were battery-operated ones.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

I've had a longstanding crush on Captain America. He just filled those underoos out so nicely in the coloring book I had as a little girl.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

Bubba:
1. There's an action figure topic, if you dig around a little.
2. How do you know my Green Lantern pictured above doesn't have batteries? He might.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

Ow! No need to get touchy. It's been a long time since I've had any feelings toward little plastic people, that's all. Big plastic people are another subject. I did have a box of plastic play cowboys and Indians when I was a kid, however.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

Nobody's getting touchy, honey.

Nobody but me and Green Lantern, that is.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

Tell the man in green I'm sorry. You know, I just remembered something. I have played with an action figure as an adult, but I should be ashamed to admit it. I had a friend who had two little girls and they had lots of Barbie-style dolls with jointed legs. Whenever I saw one laying around, I'd pick it up, lay it on the table and throw it's dress over it's face, and bend it's knees back and stretch out it's arms. This never bothered the little ones (they weren't around anyway) but no adult could walk by without reacting. I suppose this exposes something deeply demented about me. I think it was a statement against the whole prissie Barbie thing. But then again, maybe I'm just a deviant.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

One time I was at HEB (the grocery store) and there were Barbies with little light-up necklaces or something. You pushed their necklaces, for some reason. So there were holes in their plastic boxes to allow for finger-access to the necklaces. But some sicko used the holes to stick in a finger and push the Barbies' blouses aside, EXPOSING THEIR BREASTS. I was so shocked, I had to tell an employee. He was a young man. At first he was shocked, too. Then we both laughed. Then I felt faint and had to go home. It was right before Christmas, too.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

The important thing is you got out of there without being caught, Gwen. Reporting the "sacrilege" to the clerk was a nice touch. I'll have to remember that one.

-- Anonymous, October 25, 2000

Heh. I think the clerk saw me, actually. He had both hands in one pocket the whole time I was "reporting" the vandalism.

-- Anonymous, October 25, 2000

Gwen: Is Green Lantern in the witness protection program? Yes, I can make out his manly thighs and dashing mask, but he's fuzzy. I wasn't allowed to watch Green Lantern as a child, so I don't know if he's meant to be a shadowy figure... Maybe you could send him a fuzzy photo of yourself and he will think "At last my one true love. She's fuzzy. She's blurry. She will be mine." I'm pulling an all nighter to get a synopsis done and in the mail. Can you tell?

-- Anonymous, October 26, 2000

I think it's just that he has the power to de-focus my webcam.

(It's the thighs, for sure.)

-- Anonymous, October 26, 2000

So what if Gwen goes for the fuzzy ones! That's an acceptable alternative choice, innit? *hee*

Gwen, all you have to do is avoid wearing yellow. He hates yellow for some reason.

Getting kidnapped by a bad guy also works. I think you can pick your Superhero Rescuer by calling 1-900-MUSCLES. Press 7 for Green Lantern, wait for the tone, then shriek "HElp! Save me!!" He'll be right over to fight the good fight. He'll beat the bad guy over the head with a giant green glowing mallet or he'll smash him with a giant green glowing falling piano or he'll eat him up with a giant green glowing lion or something. 'Cause even though he's Da Man, he can still color coordinate. Then the bad guy will see the error of his ways and have an epiphany and promise not to ever do evil again because it is very naughty. Then y'all can go out for pizza afterwards.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 2000

Milla, it's time to slow down on the after dinner brandys. You're feverish. This isn't your usual, erudite post. Unless, of course, it's those bulging thighs on the green one.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 2000

Milla, start breaking the pills in half, honey. :-)

j/k

Green Lantern hates yellow because it cancels out his ring's power, somehow. So, besides the green motorcycle and the green cannons, etc., don't forget he can imprison bad guys inside his ring. That's pretty handy. Because, I mean think about all the other stuff you could carry in there if you can fit whole people in it!

-- Anonymous, October 26, 2000

Milla, the obvious question is: how and why do you know this?!

I've never crushed on a superhero... well, unless you count Speed Racer when I was 5....

-- Anonymous, October 26, 2000

Come on you guys! You know Milla cannot divulge the Secret Hero ways as she has been sworn to secrecy. Unless she OD's on caffeine, or is hypnotized by reasonably price, high thread-count, designer bedding. Then she will spill all her info..

-- Anonymous, October 27, 2000

Actually, chocolate-covered espresso beans, iced chai (no coconut) and saying "pretty please" work if the right person asks.

The truth is, I was meeting my friends Mary Jane Parker (rumours of her demise are greatly exaggerated, etc., etc.) and Hippolyta Hall for lunch one day and we caught up on some girl talk. Aquaman's single, y'all, and with the hook thing, he's having trouble getting a date.

Hee.

-- Anonymous, October 27, 2000

I had a friend in high school who had a crush on the picture of Alexander Hamilton (the first U.S. Treasurer) in her history book.

Did I hang with the cool kids or what.

-- Anonymous, November 03, 2000

I work with a totally brainy, funny and beautiful young female programmer. Do you know what she does when she's caught up with her coding? Works on trying to memorize the Presidents in order, from the back of a placemat. So those Presidents must have something going on.

-- Anonymous, November 03, 2000