Your Worst Telemarketer Experience

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Human Wonderful : One Thread

Tell me about the most heinous experience you had with a telemarketer on the phone. Make me feel a little more normal, please.

-- Anonymous, October 20, 2000

Answers

I recieved a call at nine AM on a Saturday (which is considered Fucking Early), from a man with a very monotonous voice who wanted me to buy long distance.

Now, one of my special superpowers is the entirely useless ability to be jolted immediately awake when the telephone rings, and then fall back asleep right afterwards. Even if I am still on the phone.

The man launched into his speech. I rolled over and closed my eyes, holding the phone to my head. He said something that sounded like a question.
Me: "Hrrm? Yeah, no."
He continued. he talked for at least three minutes. I seriously think I blacked out at this point. He kept going. And going. And going.
He had no idea if I was even alive or not.
I finally woke up enough to realize I was still on the phone. I asked him what he was selling. He told me. My brain fuzzed out again. I woke up. Asked him who he was. He kept talking.
Eventually, I told him he was really good at what he does, and hung up.
I still have no idea what he was trying to sell me, or where he was from.

-- Anonymous, October 21, 2000

Absolutely the best way to rid myself of the telemarketer virus is to politely and absent mindedly state, (in my best airhead cheerleader voice, being a male, this is a big talent of mine).. "Sorry, we're vegetarians" ... to any and all calls selling something. Gets em every time.

-- Anonymous, November 05, 2000

My worst telemarketing experience was actually BEING a telemarketer.

But, you know I get these calls all the time. I have NO problem simply hanging up on them or, if I feel like entertaining myself, lying to them for fun's sake. I keep them on a string for a while and then let them in on my "secret". They hate it. I don't really feel too guilty, though. Hey, it makes a nice break in their day, I believe. (Or maybe not.)

-- Anonymous, December 11, 2000


This one girl named Meghan called me once.... Oh wait, nevermind.

-- Anonymous, January 06, 2001

Look, Michael. I'm telling you that I had no idea it was your phone number. I found it scrawled all over the wall in one of the local porn shops in town. Something about "Will suck for a buck."

I'm sorry. Please don't get the judge to make that restraining order even worse than it already is. I miss you.

-- Anonymous, January 06, 2001



say=say said: My worst telemarketing experience was actually BEING a telemarketer. But, you know I get these calls all the time. I have NO problem simply hanging up on them or, if I feel like entertaining myself, lying to them for fun's sake. I keep them on a string for a while and then let them in on my "secret". They hate it. I don't really feel too guilty, though. Hey, it makes a nice break in their day, I believe. (Or maybe not.)

having been a telemarketer myself, i know what they do in those situations. they put you on the callback list, and three days later you get another call. the only way to get a telemarketer to stop calling is to say "please take me off your list." they have to do it.

hanging up or playing games doesn't do anything but ruin their sales average, which piszes them off enough to put you on callbacks in swahilli. i've seen it done.

-- Anonymous, March 31, 2001


Moderation questions? read the FAQ