I have informed sources that tell me that over the past few days HVO has been making a highly secretive pitch to lure Snorkel to their club. They badly need a hot lead-off relay runner, and they see Snorkel as the guy who can plug the hole. No doubt they are feeling even a little desperate, especially give the prospect that one of those Clintons may soon be a Senator for New york. So far the offer stands as follows: a good job at a substantial salary increase, 5 cows, 3 deer haunches (seasoned and smoked), and a teenage child bride.

But Snorkel is playing hardball and is holding out for a year's supply of Santa Fe chalupas also. This has HVO very consternated, because they have correctly figured out that a year's supply of chalupas isn't going to have a very, very bad effect on Snorkel's foot speed and waste-to-inseam ratio. Throwing in the chalupas--which they wouldn't otherwise mind in the least--would give them a phyrric victory at best.

-- Swampfox (wmikell@earthlink.net), October 20, 2000

Answers

It seems that even a year's supply of chalupas may not do it for Snorkel. It is strange then that HVO isn't using the "Big Chair" incentive. Do they not know that the biggest chair in the world now resides in Wingdale, NY, just a short hop away from Snorkel's weekly training forays into the Harriman SP?

Will Snorkel be visiting the Wingdale chair? And if he does, will it be enough to sway him?

-- Mook (everett@psi.edu), October 20, 2000.

Due to Snorkel's recent ankle blow out, his stock has gone down considerably.

-- Snorkel (danielmeenehan@aol.com), October 20, 2000.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ankle. It's all we ever hear about these days. C'mon people, we're all adults here. Can't we address the big issues?

Can we at least talk about the bloating?

-- Mook (everett@psi.edu), October 24, 2000.

I won't dwell on Snorkel's mispunch, but it was good to see that he was at least on his feet and out in the woods. Until we know exactly what happened, I think the sort of gossip that has pervaded OK internet space has got to stop! Think of how Snorkel feels! If he knew how much stuff was going on behind his back, I'm sure he'd be pretty disgusted!

While this is hardly how we envisioned OK's week in the east starting out, look at it this way: things can't get any worse! We'll only get better from here!

-- Mook (everett@psi.edu), October 30, 2000.