I'm not so creative. I hate thinking up costumes. But this year I'm going to a costume mandatory party- my ideas so far are:

-flapper (just because I've always wanted to wear a Mia Farrow as Daisy Buchanan type ensemble)

-an Iron Chef (pretty easy, right??)

-a Powerpuff Girl (but then I'd need two other partners)

-- Anonymous, October 20, 2000

Answers

My friend, whom I will call Marie C, always goes to costume parties as "Happy Fuckin Pillowhead." I believe the key is in folding your pillow correctly before wearing it as a hat.

It works for her.

-- Anonymous, October 20, 2000

You can use my husband's old standby: a drunk in a cape.

Or, for another one that was a big hit, take a cardboard Budweiser six-pack carton, open it up and wear it on your head. A toilet plunger in your hand as a scepter, and a trash bag draped across your back, and you're the King of Beers.

-- Anonymous, October 20, 2000

My high school English teacher swears he knows a guy that showed up at a halloween party with nothing but a potato covering his, you know. When asked what he was, he said "I'm a Dictator." Which made me laugh and laugh, but I don't think it's a true story.

-- Anonymous, October 20, 2000

Hannah, I think your English teacher heard the joke about the sour puss (the woman who put a lemon over her genitals) and the dictator (her husband retaliated by putting a potato over his). Tell your teacher that if he's going to recycle a joke and try to pass it off as his own, it may as well be a funny one.

I'm kind of glad that Halloween is such a non-event here; not only do I not have to worry about a costume, but I get to give all the trick- or-treaters who come to my house (five of them, if it's a bumper year) a quid each, and they think I'm awesome. This house is never getting egged.

-- Anonymous, October 20, 2000

Oh, but halloween is a great holiday for grown-ups. You get drunk, dress like a slut...Mardi Gras without the beads. I highly recommend the UK-ers in the house take back this excellent holiday from your kiddies. Don't know what to be this year...I kinda fancy Carmen Miranda, with a big fruit headdress.

-- Anonymous, October 20, 2000

fruitbat's right! We have a blast on Halloween. We have friends over, costumes optional, but everyone does something. We get shitfaced and hassle the kids who come to the door ("And what the hell are you supposed to be?") A lot of the parents come back after the kiddees are in bed. One year, someone caught an amardillo in their headlights, got out and caught it and then turned it loose in the house. Hey scrnwrt, you got a high school teacher who makes dick jokes to female students? What else does he teach?

-- Anonymous, October 20, 2000

I just can't be creative enough to think of costumes for me. My daughter however, has an aunt who is a professional costume designer, so her costumes are great. The best costume I *ever* saw was a girlfriend of mine who dressed as the virgin/slut (every man's dream she said). Half of her was completely dressed in bridal attire complete with makeup. The other half was black fish-net hose, black make-up, chains and other S&M accessories. She was awesome. She plays such a conservative Chemical Engineer geek at work, you'd never know that she didn't have to rent anything for the S&M side.

-- Anonymous, October 21, 2000

I had a friend who was a pregnant bride in college..put on her mom's wedding dress and and padded the stomch w/ pillows like she was about to drop twins. It got a few laughs, esp. among the college kids. I was a Viking once, that was a pretty fun costume. I made a little top, miniskirt, and boot out of fake fur, complete w. horned hat and battleaxe. what to be, what to be....

-- Anonymous, October 23, 2000

Fruitbat, I went as Carmen Miranda one year, but got too drunk to figure out how to remove the Fruit Basket Hat. I woke up the next day with it still on my head (in my defense, it was attached with about 100 bobby pins). I recommend something with less headgear.

-- Anonymous, October 23, 2000

oops and I was going to add, you should go as Kaga from Iron Chef: just get an elvis wig, a really ugly shirt, a vampire cape that you can add sequins to and a yellow bell pepper.

You might actually also go as...a fruitbat.

-- Anonymous, October 23, 2000

Hey, I'm going as a Viking this year! A Viking matron.

I haven't been able to get on the forum for like, two days.

-- Anonymous, October 23, 2000

Woohoo! Go Viking horde! You're going to have so much fun in your Viking costume, Gwen! I accessorized mine with big pleather wristbands and a band around the bicep (very "Xena") w/ hotglued-on metal studs. Felt so tough! I had a plastic battle axe as an accessory to my costume, which I was delighted to discover was watertight and held the volume of 3-4 beers. Not wanting to get shut down when the kegs floated, I had a little stash in my axe. I think the beer got a little warm but then my recollection of the evening gets a little hazy.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

I decided to go as a little girl playing dressup. I'm especially thrilled with any excuse to wear my tiara.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

well since im not gettnig married on haloween any more my frend misty is taking me to a party. i was gonna go as elanore mistress of the dark but that was gonna be my wedding out fit and that will mke me sad so no im gonna be nun

-- Anonymous, October 25, 2000

I won my company's Halloween costume contest today, against about 20 other contestants. :-) I was a cheerleader. Or more accurately, a man dressed as a cheerleader. Hairy legs, two days of stubble under my makeup (yes, makeup, including hot pink lipstick), a big blond wig and a costume with a gigantic bosom emblazoned with "Hooterville High". First place was two tickets and a parking pass to see an upcoming Colorado Avalanche NHL game (versus the Penguins). So I guess I know where I'll be on November 13th!

I won second place last year as "Biker Bitch From Hell" and tied for first the year before that with my wife as "Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky". This is getting to be a habit. :-)

-- Anonymous, October 31, 2000

Time to bring this up again. Can you believe it's been a year? This year I'm going to be Elvis (white jumpsuit and everything). My wife and I bought most of my costume today, and it's awesome. I'm going all out and I expect to win the contest again. I'll post pics afterwards. :-)

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2001

I don't have plans to dress up, because I'm a lamer like that. I don't even know what my kids are going to be yet. Damn... it's already October 9, too.

-- Anonymous, October 09, 2001

at first I was going to dress up as myself as a child on halloween; in a cheap dimestore princess costume with a crooked tiara, suffocating princess mask, ripped sparkly dress, polyester pants underneath and dirty sneakers...untied. My hair in ratty braids with leaves stuck in them and tears streaks on my face...cause my brother and sister always left me behind when I got caught in the bushes that we went thru as a short cut....and lots of crumpled wrappers in my treat bag, cause I couldn't wait until I got home to pig out on candy...

but I ain't gonna do that...

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2001

I'm going to be a granny. I've got my granny wig, glasses, knee highs, etc.

My oldest is going to be a hippy and my youngest is going to be an alien. He was an alien last year, so that was easy.

-- Anonymous, October 25, 2001