Excuses to not have sex: 10. I'd love to honey, but I just banged your sister. 9. We're out of paper bags for your head again. 8. You haven't shaved in so long I'm afraid I'd feel I was making love to Big Foot. 7. You're 20 bucks short. 6. We're out of gin again. 5. I used my last sponge for the dishes. 4. Sorry, this isn't a conjugal visit. 3. I can't tonight, honey, I spent myself earlier today watching all those pornos. 2. Only if you put on this wig and talk like a Chinese hooker. 1. Your gynecologist just called -- you still have crabs and you know how I don't like seafood.

Have a nice day ;-7

-- Anonymous, October 18, 2000