It was 17 October 2000 and the first chills of winter were biting at the cheeks and noses of urchins as they went to school. In his home in Heaton, Martin Magpie was eating his breakfast and digesting the daily news. His ears pricked up when he heard the radio presenter in the background mentioning his beloved Newcastle United Football Club. He rushed to the radio to turn up the volume. "Newcastle United have posted losses amounting to #19 million", the announcer said as though she was announcing the annual results for ICI or Marks and Spencer, a company that didn't matter. Martin's mind raced back to the dark days when the Toon had always survived by selling its best players, when the club had been weeks away from going into receivership. It couldn't all be happening again, could it? Surely, whatever their foibles, the current board couldn't have mismanaged the club to the extent that its very survival was in doubt, could they? Martin started off for work, uneasiness nibbling away inside. On the bus, he started reading the back pages of the newspapers. He was filled with horror. "Bobby Robson to be invited to manage the England national side. Robson refuses to rule himself out of the running". Martin's stomach lurched as he recalled the truly ghastly cortege of managers that had almost brought his beloved Toon to its knees. Surely the whole process wasn't going to begin again? Martin got off the bus and walked towards his work past St James's Park. He felt tearful - he loved this club but things always seemed to go wrong. "Sometimes I wish I supported Sunderland", he said to himself. Suddenly there was a flash of light and an angelic man appeared in front of Martin. He was wearing a Newcastle shirt, probably from the 50s, bearing the number 9 on the back. "Martin", said the vision, "I am the ghost of Newcastle past. I am going to take you to Newcastle 4 years ago almost to the day". Martin was suddenly sitting in his usual seat in the Leazes End. He was surrounded by a roaring crowd. Looking at the pitch, he realised that Newcastle were playing Manchester United. Mesmerised, he watched as Philiipe Albert bore down on the Man United goal and calmly lobbed the Man U goalie (who had kept his purple nose even in Martin's vision). GOAL!!!! The ball hit the back of the net. The crowd were roaring, an old man was crying, saying "I can't believe it". It dawned on Martin a second later that he was reliving Howay 5-0. He was transported back to Barrack Road and smiled at what Saint Jackie, the Ghost of Newcastle Past, had shown him, but decided glumly that sort of thing would never happen again. A light appeared and suddenly there was another vision in front of him. This time it was a younger man, dressed in the latest home strip, with a number 9 on his back. "I am the ghost of Newcastle present. Come with me". Martin found himself in a roaring crowd once again. It took him a few moments to realise that he was Boro's Riverside Stadium. The Toon fans were roaring. It was clear that Newcastle were winning. He watched mesmerised as a young man blasted the ball into the back of the net. Kieron DYER. GOAL 3-0!!!!! Martin realised he was seeing that night's game. He was quickly whisked back to Newcastle and found himself once again on Barrack Road. He was slightly cheered at what Saint Alan , the ghost of Newcastle present had shown him. but was still concerned. A final vision suddenly appeared. This was a very young man. He said to Martin, "I am the ghost of Newcastle future, come with me to November 18, a month from now". Martin suddenly found himself back in his seat in the Leazes End. The crowd were roaring once again and Martin watched mesmerised as Lua Lua danced his way past 7 men and calmly stroked the ball past the keeper. The crowd roared even more loudly and Martin realised that Newcastle were beating Sunderland. He leapt from his seat, screaming with joy at the spectacle of Lua Lua's goal and at the joy of beating the Makems, his heart beating with pride. He turned to the people next to him and saw that it was the three spirits of Newcastle sitting next to him. Tears rolling down his face, Martin knew that he was blessed to be a Newcastle supporter.

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2000

Answers

Canny good but I've got one complaint pal, why make it sound like we only support the toon with the aim of JUST beating the mackems. Personaly when we beat the mackems I dont give a shite, it's expected we are the North Easts biggest club after all.

It's the makkems who get emotional when they once every 10 years beat their masters.

It's the mackems who finish every post with 2-1, did we ever do that?

No because it's not as big a deal for us, as it is for a makkum to win the local derby.

We aim for bigger things pal, we aim to concer football, not just a local derby!!!!!!

Are you a makkum who knows the password by any chance????

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2000

but was Lua Lua's goal the 4th, 5th or 6th ? I need to know.

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2000

Bah Humbug!

Nice one Happy. Inspired no doubt by Great Expectations? Or A Tale of One and a Half Cities? (-;

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2000

Read and you will see that the Mackems game is merely the icing on the cake. Don't keep saying "pal" - makes you sound like a Makckem yourself. By "concer", I take it you mean "conquer"?

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2000

It was the fourth, MacB.

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2000