what do you get to do when no one's around? I'm alone and I have candles and incense burning, right on the coffee table! I'm sitting here watching tv, in the dark (which is normally also not allowed.... "it gives me a headache! *whine*") and I'm eating candy without fear of Him looking at me with that "God, she's such a pig" look on his face.. ahhh.. so relaxing.

-- Anonymous, October 14, 2000

Answers

I do ridiculous, disgusting things when I am alone. I pluck my pubic hairs one by one. I pick dead skin off of my feet and then chew on it. I scratch my head and get some scalpiness underneath my fingernails and then pick it out. I floss. I talk nonsense to my cats. I paint my nails; I exfoliate. I masterbate. Good times, these are.

-- Anonymous, October 14, 2000

Whew! I'm glad I took the time to re-read your post. On first glance, I thought you said one of the things you do when you're alone is masturbate. But I see now that what you actually wrote was "masterbate" which, as everyone knows, means to "argue with oneself, as in DEbate, but without an opponent." Of course! I often do the same thing. Do you use a vibrator when you do this? (Or one of the cats?)

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2000

I get to turn up my rockin' guitar CD's as loud as the neighbors will allow, go into my darkroom and print till I run out of paper. Or sit around and have a beer, eat popcorn, and debate myself. James

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2000

I clean, toss out stuff thats been sitting around for ages, think about patching up these holes in the clothes then toss them out too as they no longer fit anybody, go though stacks of old mail to pitch and find bills that have been missing in action, watch sappy videos and cry, work on one of the millions of quilts I need to finish, watch those awful TV shows I would never admit watching (Jerry, Sally, Judge Judy, Regis, The View). Pick my teeth, cut my toe nails, shave my legs & pits. Don't talk to myself though.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2000

Jill, I also "debate myself" when I'm home alone. :-) But otherwise, yeah, the usual: I listen to heavy metal on the stereo turned up way way too loud, my sleep habits go all haywire - I routinely stay up until 2AM whenever I'm alone, and get up at 6 or 7 - and my eating habits degenerate almost immediately. I suspect that if I were home alone long term, longer than a month, let's say, I'd shape up and start sleeping and eating like I'm supposed to. But besides all that, I try to stay productive, too, by continually straightening and weeding out all the clutter that can accumulate - for that reason sometimes it can be a good thing to be alone, makes throwing out junk a lot easier. :-) But mostly I "argue with myself." Heh.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2000

I do heavy-duty cleaning, home repair projects, crafts, work the dogs, sing as loud as I want (though that's usually reserved for the car), groom the dogs, color my hair, throw out/bag up to donate my daughter's outgrown clothes and toys. I cook foods my family will not eat but that I like (like chicken livers and turnip greens). And when I've gotten all the *work* done, I take a shower and read a book in the living room. Just me, on the couch, in the QUIET.

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2000

Good god! I promise to never misspell "masturbate" ever again! ;)

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2000

Here's something amusing you can do while you are home alone... or at work PRETENDING to finish that spreadsheet on the third quarter revenues... http://www.normalbobsmith.com/jesusdressup.html ---- -----

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2000

I pick my nose, fart and generally spend all my time at the porn sites while I'm alone.

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2000

"Argue with myself"...! Hee! I love that.

OK...read, sleep, play music, talk to cat, personal grooming rituals that may or may not involve tweezers, nail polishing, writing, etc.

I like candles and incence but I go through periods where I light them up and periods where I forget and do without. My lightbulb in the bathroom burnt out last night at 1 AM (and scared the fool out of me and the cat when it blew up) so I took a candlelight shower. That was actually not the first time I'd done that, but it was notable in that I was alone and I didn't have a choice in the matter and no one scrubbed my back for me. *grumble* Pits.

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2000

The first thing I always do is set up six CDs on programmed play and turn them up full blast. Then I come up with a mental list of things I will do with my precious alone time. It always includes some sort of crafting and the organization of a closet or box. Then I squander three-quarters of the Alone Time online. Then I think, "Hey, now would be the perfect time to [argue with myself]!" Then I go to my bedroom. Then Paul and the kids walk through the front door and my alone time's over.

At least I get to listen to the CDs, though.

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2000

I put on my rock star clothes and sing at the top of my lungs. I have only been discovered once, by my husband. He is sworn to secrecy.

-- Anonymous, October 18, 2000

I make long lists of things I'm going to do that I can't do when my house is chock full o' mammals. Like writing letters, organzing photographs, making myself tea and reading in silence, bubble bath, etc.

Then I set the list aside, log on and share my opinions with my peeps out in cyber space.

-- Anonymous, October 18, 2000