!!!GET PAID TO PLAY FOOTBALL!!!

Are you interested in playing eleven a side football? I'm looking for local guys to play regular eleven a side football for a team in central london. I urgently need new players as the team frankly at the moment is crap. We've only just started the season and already we're bottom of the league. The situation is so bad i'm now willing to pay new players to join. We're a young friendly side, with plenty of social activities outside of football - regular team piss ups if you're into that sort of thing and weekends away. Players also get free use of the local gym, and I can get you a discounted rate at an exclusive golf course.

We even have a sponsor who funds us to travel abroad to play competitive games, but frankly if we keep playing as craply as we do at the moment it'll just be embarrassing and we'll have to knock that on the head. Match fees will be paid based on ability. If you're interested come down and see me.

We usually train, Thursdays 8 o clock, Wembley Stadium. Cheers

Howard Wilkinson

-- Anonymous, October 13, 2000

Answers

If you re loacte to Newcastle and can get me an advertising deal with Munchies kebab shops, I'll be interested.

-- Anonymous, October 13, 2000