maybe some one has heard of this or could give some info. the twins are now 14 mon. old and doing well except for language. they talk their own, when together you can see that they are talking to each other, they laugh and interact very well but thats it they do not try to communicate w/ anyone else. i can give them simple directions and they do what is asked but i cant get them to talk to me or anyone else. they say a few basic words and can indicate what they want only if really pushed. i watch them in total shock playing together, i know they truly understand each other. as of their 1 yr. check up they were the same height, weight and head cir. they both have 1 foot an 1/2 in bigger and they both have the same colic in their hair{oppisite sides} one seems to be right handed the other left.to look at them i can tell a slight difference,,must people cant.

i just am wondering if the lang. thing will become an issue, when i spoke to the doc. he was not sure because he has never worked w/ twins before.

any input would be nice thanks.

-- renee oneill (oneillsr@home.com), October 13, 2000

Answers

I'm answering from what I remember from my Child Development classes etc. which are a few years old. Twins will often develop a language that only they understand. Others will not be admitted. This is ohe of the reasons they are usually placed in different classes in school. They will also develop the parents language skills if the parents and others remain consistent in demanding such development. For instance, having them repeat; ba-ba, mama, dada, etc., just as we normally expect children to. Because they do have their own language and do converse with the person closest to them, their twin, language development may be slow. Children do develop at their own rate. My one son refused to say more than ba-ba, mama, dada and blanky until he was four. He then began speaking in complete sentences. His first sentence was to a stocker in the grocery store, "Excuse me sir, could you tell me where the cookies are?" Obviously, this was a very important question and he had never really wanted to ask anything before. He still won't do or say anything unless he has a reason to. Your girls sound as though they are behaving normally is all respects for twins. Not all twins will creat their own language but many will. Remember, twins are very close. They shared the womb and will continue to share throughout most of their lives. Occasionaly, twins will be able to communicate without any words. They seem to know what the other is thinking and feeling and experiencing when logic tells us they couldn't. Enjoy your girls, they sound delightful.

-- Cheryl Cox (bramblecottage@hotmail.com), October 13, 2000.

Renee, I have a friend who has what she calls mirror image twin girls. They are 15 now. So smart and sweet. They did that all the time. I think they still do. When one of them talks the other one finishes the sentence. Or they say it at the same time.( they do that alot) It is so neat. How do they do that? I have a twin brother and we do not do that. My mom said we did to an extent when we were little but not that much. He is left handed and I am right handed. But that is the end of the likeness. However as far as my friends girls go I can only tell them apart because one has a little scare on her forehead over on eyebrow. Or after they talk for a minute. One of them is a little more reserved and the other is very outspoken.

To this day they do everything together. They dress alike most of the time and one will not go anywhere without the other. They both have the same interest and likes and dislikes. It's really neat,but it's kind of scarry too. I wander how they will adjust to life seperate. Surely sooner or later that will need to happen. They say they are going to college together. So far it has worked out for them . They have seperate classes at school and they do really well. They are in accelerated classed and ace programs. I do fear seperation will be exceptionally hard for them, but imagine what a blessing it must be to have someone so close .

-- Bonnie (josabo1@juno.com), October 13, 2000.

My step brothers are identical twins, they are opposite handed, hair swirls oppositely, and only family members can tell them apart. My step dad said they did the same thing (I hear it's common), and they were a little late talking to others, but by the time they went to school they were caught up with other kids. Don't worry about it until they're a little older, also are there any other kids in the neighborhood that are around their age that could come over and play?

-- Joan Murray (alandjoan@juno.com), October 13, 2000.

Its not only twins that do it my 2 oldest were 3 years apart and the only one who could understand the baby was my older daughter .At 14 months I would not worry to much it is still very young for alot of anything .I have a 15 month old who will say , ma, da, t.j.,sissy , moo for cow , itty for kitty , momilk for more milk and thats about it .Keep telling them the name of say bottle , then ask do you want your baba say baba .Just keep doing it till your blue in the face .I think the most important thing is not to let the older children speak for them , I learned the hard way with 9 years of speach therapy !

-- Patty Gamble (fodfarms@slic.com), October 13, 2000.

Just a suggestion but if you can manage to separate them from time to time, as in have hubby watch part of the family while you take one twin shopping with you for a while, or for a walk or something, it might be a good idea. My twin sisters (not identical) were also very close (and, strangely enough, one is left-handed, the other right). I don't recall them having their own language, but they lived together until they were in their thirties, when one, then the other, finally got married.

-- Kathleen Sanderson (stonycft@worldpath.net), October 13, 2000.

I don't have experience with twins, but above all, don't let the "experts" scare you into thinking your kids have some problem. My 5 year old, who now reads on a second grade level, did not say one purposeful sentence until she was almost 3, when she once greeted me with "hi, Mommy." I'm sure your kids are fine, as the other answers agree.

-- Christina W. (introibo@address.com), October 13, 2000.

I have 4 year old twin daughters and they did the exact same thing. It was so frustrating that they could understand each other and I did not have a clue. I would watch them babbling away and ask what they were talking about and they would both turn mute and pretend that they couldn't talk. One day I interrupted their conversation an d started pretending that I knew what they were saying, I guess I caught them off guard and they answered me with real words. GOTCHA! From then on I haven't been able to keep them quiet. Maybe your girls will do the same. Twins are known to have their own language and apparently it is a sense of security for them. Don't worry they will talk to you one day and most likely never stop!!

-- cara lewis (cnllewis@email.com), October 13, 2000.

Kathleen makes a great point. My Joni now 18 and president of her senior class, top 10 in GPA and National Honor Society member and president wasn't even speaking in sentences at 4 when her older sister was going starting school. The kindergarten teacher for my oldest daughter thought we should send Joni to speech therapy. She was reading before enterting kindergarten 2 years later, and it all had to do with her older sister leaving the home for 4 hours a day, and having to talk with me rather than her sister who knew all of her hand motions and gruts! We also have 2, 20 year old twins in our family, sounds to me like you could do what my sister in law did, send one at a time for overnight, then weeken then week long visits with Aunt Vicki at the farm:) On a serious note, how many kindergartners have you seen on the bottle, diapered or talking baby talk, they are little for such a small amount of time, why take this cool part of their twinness away from them? Vicki

-- Vicki McGaugh (vickilonesomedoe@hotmail.com), October 13, 2000.

My little brother and I aren't twins but did the same thing. My little brother didn't speak to anyone but me until I went to school...he was nearly 4 when this happened. My Granny swears he would grunt at me and I would tell her what he wanted. My first day of going to school he had noone to translate for him and the first thing he spoke to anyone else was a complete sentence. He turned out to have no problems communicating with others and is perfectly normal. He's in his last year of law school at the moment (don't look at me like that I told him to pick a different profession). Give them time. I wouldn't worry about it unless they start school or some other public activity and still don't talk. I know how frustrating it must be for you. Every mother anxiously awaits when their child starts talking (until they get old enough you wish they would be quiet!). Amanda

-- Amanda Seley (aseley@townsqr.com), October 13, 2000.

thanks everyone! guess i was making sure they are"ok" and i guess i am a little jelous too. they have a bond so deep i know i will never be a true part of it. the 2 older sisters relied on me and hs so much but these 2 rely on each other. i remember when they were born {5week early}and Hazel was first she just laid in the little heated bed not crying but almost waiting for Maisie to come w/ her and then when they were together they held hands! we have the most wonderful picture of them minutes old laying together holding hands. the doctors words were" yup they love each other."

on the funny side i am sure they are plotting there next move and how to get away!

-- renee oneill (oneillsr@home.com), October 13, 2000.

Renee, I had twin sisters that were 9 months younger than me and they did they same thing all during our "growing up" years! I always felt left out! Even as adults, they were the used the same "talk" when they got together. After becoming adults with families of their own and living 3000 miles apart, they would call each other at the same time, call me and other family members at the same~~with almost the same conversation!!!!As it would happen: They didn't see each other for 2 years-- when we meet at my parents house for Thanksgiving they came in with the same outfit on. The only difference was that one was blue and on was green!Driving the same kind of car, color, make and year!!! It's sad now because 4 years ago the oldest twin died of breast cancer at the age of 39! The youngest twin is still greiving and says she dreams of her every night~~And that they "talk" "OUR talk"!!!Her words not mine!!!! My parents would spank them, separte them, or make fun of them when they were caught talking that way!!! NOTHING helped...

-- Debbie T in N.C. (rdtyner@mindspring.com), October 13, 2000.

Maybe it's a sign of higher intellegence .My son is above average in all his studys now that we can understand him .Perfect 100 in science.I still think they mixed up babies!

-- Patty Gamble (fodfarms@slic.com), October 13, 2000.

I am a 42 yr old twin, and I have 17 yr old twins! I think that makes me -nearly -an expert on the subject! Let the girls be! I understand your concern, but quite frankly, we all 'think' to much, when it comes to kids, especially double yolks!

-- Kathy (catfish@bestweb.net), October 13, 2000.

You've had a lot of great responses, but I just wanted to second the response that said to let them be. You will probably be surprised at the success of that decision.

When my son was a baby, he made up his own language. I had it pretty well figured out, but no one else did (but I'm good with languages and linquistics :-) ) Anyway, he got tired of nobody paying attention to him, and he started speaking sentences. He was over 3 at the time.

He was also the one who didn't want to learn colors, shapes, letters, etc. at the ages the other kids did, and I just left him alone, read to him, played with him, etc. One day at the end of his first grade year (we homeschool) he said, "Mom will you teach me to read today?" In a week he was at grade level, and now he is reading well above his grade level. He has a penchant for language, picking up the languages like sign language and spanish very easily.

-- Terri Miller (tchr4hm@juno.com), October 14, 2000.

I have twin girls too-almost 4 years old now. You know Albert Einstein was thought to be a duumy because he didn't speak real sentences until he was 4 and Thomas Edison was thought to be a trouble maker etc etc etc. There is a margin of what people call the norm but many people don't fit into any schedule of developement and they turned out fine. Many times I have wondered if what my kids were doing was normal for their age or whatever. Now I realize they are what they are and when they are ready they will do ______. The more we try to push our kids into the mold the more they resist. So I try to relax and go with it more. It also makes for a less stressed out mom. My twins never did the "twin-speak" thing and I always wondered if that was normal. Funny isn't it.

-- evelyn Bergdoll (evandjim@klink.net), October 15, 2000.

You have alot of responses here, can you stand one more? ;-) I have identical twin boys , clear down to the DNA and fingerprints. They are 9 yrs old and didn't speak really until they were 5. They had their own language too. They would sit and meow at each other (they are high functioning autistic, NOT saying yours are). We didn't find out that they were autistic until they were 3. But I did worry and stew over the language, but my sister and I did that ,so I kept telling myself it was ok.. we were 13 mths apart. I still wanted my twins to talk to me. They were very good at screaming (the autism, severe at this point), but when they were together..it was something else!!! SO CUTE!!! Anyway, they would speak in their own language and one time, they did this, one pulled some books off the shelf (they were 2) and the other crawled over and stole my food while I was picking up the books. I began to understand a bit of the language then, so they stopped talking out loud. Then you could tell they were communicating, though not saying a word. They would look at each other , then burst out laughing. It was so cute!! They don't do that as much anymore, and I kind of miss it. They are very verbal now!!! sigh..kind of makes me miss those telecommunication days! ;-) At the age that your twins are, I am with the others that posted, don't stress, enjoy it!! I would not worry about anything like autism unless they don't crawl yet or something like that. When I was telling the doctors there was something wrong with them because they screamed so much, they kept telling me it was a "twin thing" not to worry. I didn't worry so much about the speech because of my sister and I, but the not walking and or potty training at 3 yrs really had me worried. Ok, I am rambling...I will let you go. Have fun with your twins, there is nothing like them!! I also have two other children that lost their twin at birth, they say that their twin talks to them some time. My full set of twins had two other boys with them (quads) and they came in yesterday asking me about it (I had not told anyone) because they said two boys that look just like them,but were angels came in to talk to them. They said they just wanted to say HI. That special twin thing goes on forever. sigh and big smile.

-- Cindy in OK (cynthiacluck@yahoo.com), October 16, 2000.