You don't have to buy me anything. Just tell me fabulous lies. I like it.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2000

Answers

I was thinking about getting you a Hello Kitty vibrator.

Just kidding. Wouldn't that be a)cool yet b)creepy?

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2000

did I read about those in Bust magazine? I can't remember...

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2000

I'm buying you a cruise around the world so you could go to all the places you always wanted to visit.

And a gift certificate to Lush.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2000

I'm going to get you a magic genie in a magical lava lamp.

He's a little hard of hearing with all that wax buildup from the lava stuff, though, so be careful to enunciate when you ask for a foot-high piano player.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2000

Lots of fabric.

And I wouldn't even be upset if you never made anything with it.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2000

I'm gonna send you some bulbs if Breck's ever sends them to me!

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2000

I'm going to buy you the biggest playhouse that Playschool makes so you and the kiddies can play and pretend all day. With slides and swings and everything.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2000

The COMPLETE set of the Bendy figures from Archie McPhee...

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2000

Monthly gift certificates to spend at dollar stores. Not all at once, but one a month so you can choose to blow it all at once or spread it out over a few weeks and get whatever catches your eye. Oh, and one of those Hello Kitty toasters. Someone mentioned it here in the forum a while back and I swear I haven't stopped thinking about it ever since.

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2000

www.sanriostore.com - Hello Kitty toasters, waffle irons, vaccum cleaners, ovens... you name it... ... ...

-- Anonymous, October 12, 2000

Wal-Mart Barbie...?

-- Anonymous, October 13, 2000

What? You didn't like my Boulaz #3 "Git DOWN!" thingee? I'm crushed. Oh, well. E-mail me a mailing address and I'll send you a complimentary subscription to the little rag "East Texas TODAY magazine." Same publishing philosophy as StickyMonkey: "The next time you fuck up...we'll be there with the popcorn!"

-- Anonymous, October 13, 2000

A detour around your trailer park so that those awful Texans won't get trash all over the beautiful yard I'm going to have my landscape maint people put in for you. And if you send me what I asked for you might be surprised. james

-- Anonymous, October 14, 2000

Padded hangers. And all the drawer space you need.

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000

Oops. I'm just now reading the end of this. Thanks, y'all.

I don't really live in a trailer park, though. I do live in a mobile home, but it's on an acre and a half.

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000

Weren't you selling your place?

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000

The property is listed, but no one cares so far.

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000

I've heard that this time of the year is usually slow. If you don't sell before January, I'm sure you will soon after.

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000

I'm okay with it either way. We're selling commercial, not residential. If we don't sell by the end of the six months, we can just wait til the carwash and the shopping center get built across the street. Then maybe our land will be worth even more. I'm in no hurry.

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000