INVAR Registered User (10/5/00 10:27:53 am) Reply

Re: (UNEX) Spontaneous Human Combustion - NOT! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spontaneous Human Combustion...

Yes,...I've experienced this FIRST-HAND!

...every single time I hear the boldface lies/distortions/and manipulations from anyone in the Clinton/Gore Administration.

As a matter of fact, my whole house almost went up last Tuesday night. Carpet singed all about me. The voice is still hoarse from screaming.

Let me tell you....it IS painful. It starts with a feeling of incredulity...followed by a burning sensation behind the eyes and ears. Tightening of the throat and vigorous clenching of the fists soon follow. It is not uncommon for spontaneous high-pitched screams of rage and fury to be directed at inanimate broadcast devices.

Then, at the onset of an incredible whopper of a puke lie presented as fact, or a deliberate attempt at fear-mongering and dividings of Americans by a Say-Anything-To-Be-In-Power politician, the rage becomes white hot.... burning a hole right through the earth to China where Gore and Clinton got most of their campaign 'contributions", thus making it easier for more "special Communist Interests" funds to be funneled into our political process for manipulation.

This is indeed a very rare condition. Patriotism and thinking skills are the combustible fuel needed for any burning rage to take hold.

Thankfully or not, most Americans lack these fundamental elements that would ignite a conflagration of outrage that would consume all of Washington and perhaps even the country at large.

Thankfully today, Political Scientists and Spin Doctors have been able to successsfully innoculate the masses from ever experiencing the dangerous flames of outrage at government. The Apathy treatment is the best prevention against SHC.

The soothing and covering foam of prosperity adequately protects most Americans today from the possibility of caring and understanding freedom, an essential element in the ignition process. The Apathy treatment strengthens the system that makes you immune from the need for Duty, Honor, or Country.

Americans run little risk today of becomming infected with POL (Preserving Our Liberty), the virus that causes SHC.

For those that do suffer this awful condition, there is little hope of treating them. We can only make them comfortable with the faint hopes that Constitution Respecting Politicians can be elected to high office. All we can do is innoculate their children in our public schools and Universities - thus breaking the SHC trait that tends to run in families, and is passed down from generation to generation.

With more effort and government hand-out programs...the United States will wipe the disease of American Patriotism, and the scourge of SHC from off the globe forever.

Thank You for your attention. Contact the DNC for more information on how to combat Patriotism and SHC.

-- ABC (1@2.3), October 06, 2000

Answers

Categorize this cybergenre as Political Satire.

-- dinosaur (dinosaur@williams-net.com), October 06, 2000.

That is not satire, at least not very good satire. That is just Invar. He was on the old forum. I always thought of him as one of the dimmer bulbs on the string until I learned that the 20 or so posters on EZboard all had IQ's over 150 8<}

He is either a great actor or totally out of touch with reality. Don't know which is true.

DB

-- DB (Debunker @normore.xxx), October 06, 2000.

It's cleanly written (no vulgarity) and it is apparent he's learned how to use a spell-checker.

I give him a 7 for originality and 9 for grammar and syntax.

All for naught, as J.P. Morgan just gonged him for prior offenses committed against the English language.

-- Bingo1 (howe9@shentel.net), October 06, 2000.

Thank you, ABC, though I have not felt compulsed to do so often, I feel I must reply. It is true, evident Patriotism, lies dormant. Why should everyone get their britches in a wad when there is no foe on the horizon? In my experience of humans, I can guarantee you, that faced with a foe, we will combine our efforts. It is human nature. Animal nature, also.

-- Church Fan (Hand@wave.com), October 06, 2000.

.....If you find this scary, I would find you frightening...

-- Patrick (pmchenry@gradall.com), October 06, 2000.

Please do not cross post the vile, hatefilled ramblings of the other board on this forum. Such postings will just attract their attention. If you wish to write such reactionary tripe yourself, please post it on the other forum - that is why it is there.

-- FedUp (AsGood@sanyone.elses), October 07, 2000.

Help fight spontaneous human combustion!

-- (Smokey_the_bare@EZ.bored), October 07, 2000.