> A Mancunian school teacher explains to her class that she is a > Manchester United fan. She asks her class to raise their hands if they too are Man Utd > fans...

> > Everybody in the class raises their hands...except for one girl. > The teacher looks at the girl in surprise saying "Jane, why haven't you raised your hand?"

> > Jane replies "Because I'm not a Man Utd fan, I'm a Newcastle fan AND > proud of it". Now thoroughly shocked the teacher asks "Pray tell, why are you a Newcastle fan ?"

> "Because my dad is a Newcastle fan and my mum is a Newcastle fan so I am a fan too" Jane replies.

> > Now getting annoyed the teacher says "That is no reason for you > to be a Newcastle fan - You don't have to follow your parents all the time.

> What if your mum was a twat and your dad was a twat, what would you be then?"

> > Jane smiled..."I'd be a Manchester United fan"

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

Answers

Aye...ok then Gav :-)

Big Bassa!!! :-)

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

;))

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

How many times are the teams on that joke gonna get changed?

Saw it recently posted on the Strawberry board and the punchline was Sunderland, then saw it on RTG and the punch was Newcastle, The Arse board do it as a Spurs supporter and I even had a Bristol Rovers supporter E Mail it to me about a Bristol City supporter.........

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

And I actually got it from a West Ham supporter with the punchline of Man Utd....

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

Multi purpose jokes.....but a good un to boot

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

It's the same with most football jokes, they've all been told before under another disguise.

can anyone tell a Sunderland or Man u joke that you can't change the {insert team /player name here} to make it a Nufc joke?.

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

Taxi driver picks up a Mackem in Sunderland city centre who asks to be taken to the Tyne Bridge. The taxi driver thinks this a strange request and asks him why. "Well", says the mackem, "this season is so bad I can't stand any more and I'm gonna throw myself off." "What about Wearmouth Bridge" says the driver "it's a lot closer". "Yes but have you seen the f***ing queue!"

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

Mackem went into the Heaton Meadowfield CIU Club and pinned his SDM season ticket on the notice board.......and some bugger nicked the pin.

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

OK rik, here's a $HIT Mackem joke...

This Mackem moves to London, and he's amazed by the indoor plumbing. He's so intrigued by the toilets that he goes to a Sewage Treatment Works to check it out. One of the inspectors shows him to the conveyor belt that carries all the bowel movements. As the piles of $hit parade by them, the inspector says, "You can tell by inspection who the assorted faeces belong to. See that one? I'm sure it's the turd of an Indian. See the pieces of onion bajee (sp?), and pilau rice?" "Oh right," replies the half-breed. "And this next one is obviously the turd of a Chinese or Japanese... see the fish eyes and the rice in it?" "Oh right," again replied the Mackem. "And this next one is surely from a queer." The Mackem asks, "How can you tell it was from a queer?" The inspector answers, "Look close... there's a dent on one end!"

I told you it was a $hit joke...

Hat, coat...no not really, I'm off to Krabi & Phuket in Thailand = no jacket required & no more cr@p jokes from me, for a while at least!

;-7

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

Bud... that was awfull.Is that what living overseas does to ya.

Steph your's looks like getting the joke of the week prize this week, which is a $%#$$$&^G&^$CYFR$9-90i(*, that Ok?

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

That's great Rik, thanks. Do I pick it up or will you post it?

-- Anonymous, October 03, 2000

Bud have a great time in Krabi n Phuket mate , make sure you go to the caves at Hat Phram Pra Ngang the beaches around it are incredible ... as for Phuket , enjoy the show ! V V jealous , best holiday of my life up there in April : - ))

-- Anonymous, October 03, 2000

Sting, Krabi et environs were excellent BUT it's all about to go 'downhill', rapidly - direct flights in, start next month and the place is about to 'boom'; we can blame De Caprio, Alex Garland (a Brit!) and Hollywood for that!

I've been going to Phuket for 17 years and, I'm afraid, never again, I think I'd prefer Benidorm; the place has been ruined :-(

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2000

That's what happens once Stings been to a place....I mean just look at what happened to the rainforests in Brazil after he'd been there......he's a bloody nuisance that little popster is....

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2000