OK - Time for a Silly Thread

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I'll start ('cause it was my idea).

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Contemporary Definitions

BLAMESTORMING
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage)
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STARTER MARRIAGE
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

STRESS PUPPY
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

SWIPED OUT
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

ASSMOSIS
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

IRRITAINMENT
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton's video Grand Jury testimony is another. And of course, there's always "Survivor".

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

VULCAN NERVE PINCH
The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm reboot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On key.

YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS
The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, "We each owe $8, but all everybody's got are yuppie food stamps."

ADMINISPHERE
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

GENERICA
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS
Well Off Older Folks

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 25, 2000

Answers

"OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake."

I've always referred to this as the O'Shitski Moment.

-- blunders (r@us.com), September 25, 2000.

WHAT! I thought all the threads on this site were silly. Do you mean I was supposed to take all of the stuff here seriously?

NOW you tell me.

-- The Engineer (spcengineer@yahoo.com), September 25, 2000.

..getting out the scissors and glue stick...

;)

-- Peg (too@much.spam), September 25, 2000.

SATISFICING - Doing just enough to get by without raising suspicions.

CONFISTICATE - To take something from someone else forcefully.

-- Flint (flintc@mindspring.com), September 25, 2000.

I've seen this list Patricia, but didn't keep a copy, thanks. I love the "blamestorming" definition, we now use the term at work, lol...

Hey, have you guys ever gone to a "pre-meeting" to prepare for a meeting? Sure you have...but WE have post-meeting critique meetings...

-- FactFinder (FactFinder@bzn.com), September 25, 2000.

Did somebody say "meeting"? I have just the thing ;-)

Jargon Bingo

How to play:
Simply check off 5 of the words and phrases below as they are used in a meeting and shout out BINGO!

It's that easy!

Testimonials from other players:

"I had only been in the meeting for five minutes when I yelled bingo."

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."

"Meetings have never been the same for me after my first win."

"The atmosphere was tense at the last process workshop as 32 of us listened intently for the elusive 5th."

"The facilitator was astonished as we all screamed bingo for the 3rd time in 2 hours."

"People are now even listening to mumblers, thanks to jargon bingo."

"You could have cut the atmosphere with a cricket bat as we waited for the 5th delivery."

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 25, 2000.

Hey, Patricia, some great stuff there! Can't wait to try the Bingo thing. Actually, where I work, at times I'd probably be yelling "Bingo!" as we're still heading down the aisle even BEFORE the meeting.

Here are some more words that need to find a dictionary:

foodwinking = The practice of giving exotic names to otherwise mundane products. For example, "Salsa Rio flavored Doritos."

milkdudes = Any two milk duds fused together by accident.

snackmosphere = The 95% air inside bags of potato chips.

toasticles = The little bits of toast that somehow always get stuck on the stick of butter.

discombebopulated = Whenever you are driving along and you can't find a house, and you have the address in your hand, and you can't find the address, so you turn the radio down. Somehow, this will help you find the house easier. If you ever find yourself doing this, then you are discombebopulated.

alponium (al PO nee um) - n. (chemical symbol: Ap) Initial blast of odor upon opening a can of dog food.

ambiportalous (am bih PORT ahl us) - adj. Possessing the uncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and ALWAYS pushing the locked one.

anticiparcellate (an ti si PAR sel ate) - v. Waiting until the mailman is several houses down the street before picking up the mail, so as not to appear too anxious.

brattled (BRAT uld) - adj. The unsettling feeling, at a stoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up beside you is making fun of you.

carperpetuation (KAR pur pet u a shun) - n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum ONE MORE CHANCE.

choconiverous (chahk o NIV ur us) - adj. The tendency when eating a chocolate Easter bunny to bite off the head first.

cinemuck (SI ne muk) - n.The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters.

disconfect (dis kon FECT) - v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will "remove" all the germs.

elbonics (el BON iks) - n. The action of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

elecelleration (el a cel er AY shun) - n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.

flopcorn (FLOP korn) - n. The unpopped kernels at the bottom of the cooker.

toilocution (toy lo CU shun) - n. The desperate attempt by a homeowner to talk his overflowing toilet into backing down.

frust (frust) - n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

glantics (GLAN tiks) - n. Two people, who, while making out, open their eyes at the same time to see if the other is looking.

lactomangulation (LAK to man gyu LAY shun) - n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.

pillsburglar (PILZ berg ler) - n. Person able to sample the icing on a new cake without leaving a fingerprint.

psychophobia (sy ko FO be uh) - n. The compulsion, when using a host's bathroom, to peer behind the shower curtain and make sure no one is waiting for you.

pupkus (PUP kus) - n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

posteriocomet (poas TEER e o kom it) n. Any streamer of toilet paper hooked to the back of your pants (because you used it for "liner") as you emerge from a public restroom.

dontaskiocomet (doant AHSK e o kom it) n. Any streamer of toilet paper hooked to the back of your pants not only as you emerge from a public restroom, but stays with you the rest of the workday and isn't pointed out to you until your spouse or kids find a way to delicately bring up the subject when you get home.

Wily's Law (WI leez law) - n. The only know exception to Newton's Law of Gravity, Wily's Law states that an animal or person can suspend himself in midair provided (a) he is in a cartoon, and (b) he doesn't look down and realize he is no longer on solid ground.

wondracide (WUN druh side) - n. The act of murdering a piece of bread with a knife and cold butter.

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), September 26, 2000.

Actually, eve, (and I'm almost ashamed to admit this) right after I posted Jargon Bingo on another board, I had a meeting. I not only won the Bingo, but it was because of *me*.

Groan.

Are those "Snigglets"? I used to have one of those books.....don't know if I still do. They are absolutely hilarious. There was one that was about "objects in mirror being MUCH closer than they appear", but I can't remember the word for it.....

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 26, 2000.

Office Memo

From: Eve (who isn't really a "mover and shaker" in the classic sense, but in fact has been known to "move" and "shake" at various times...)

To: Patricia

Regarding: Your successful bingo achievement at the meeting.

It appears as if the bottom line here, Patricia, is that the pro- active synergy in your accomplishment was, at the end of the day, a perfect strategically-fitted win-win situation that should get you on the fast track with that wonderful results-and-quality-driven mindset of yours. You went the extra mile, stretched the envelope, saw the big picture, played hardball, and just put this one to bed.

Or in other words..."You go, girlfriend!" (Um...or should it be "You went..."?)

And yup -- almost all of 'em are sniglets. Except that I added one that actually happened to me -- the "dontaskiocomet".

Uh oh -- did you lose the book? Well, we'll just have to remedy that one ASAP! The format's not so hot, but -- what the hey -- they're free...

Sniglets

By the way, "magniphobia" was the one you were looking for.

Have fun, kiddo...:)

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), September 26, 2000.

Thanks eve but I really don't deserve it ;-) At the end of the day, the bottom line is that lessons learned of the big picture turned that into a win-win situation.

(I had to refer back to the list for that; I take that as a very good sign.)

Thanks for the sniglets link; I had forgotten just how funny they are!! (Yes, sitting here at work laughing out loud.) For example:

=>idiot box (ID e ot bahks) - n. The part of the envelope that tells a person WHERE to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.

(I use that one all the time.)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 26, 2000.

Patricia, I meant to tell you that I laughed out loud at your winning the bingo game from your own words and phrases. Oh, irony of ironies! :)

And hey...while we're in the silly mode, here's a short list of people who should be phased out...

People who always seem to have to harmonize the last few lines of "Happy Birthday to You."

Guys who wink when they're kidding;

People who always answer the phone, "Yel-lo"?

Finally a list of things that an ex-New Yorker would miss now that she's living in Las Vegas (well...just one for now to start you off)...

In cold weather when you'd accidentally cut someone off in traffic, that cute way, where -- instead of giving you the finger -- you get "the mitten."

-- eve (eve_rebelak@yahoo.com), September 26, 2000.

Eve: HAD to lol @ work over brattled. That happens to me alot :-(

Lets not forget snoballed - that cold stuff which just happens to fly into your car window and run down yer back after passing a school bus- stop....go figure.

These all were to funny...thanks

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), September 26, 2000.

'Sumer -- you know, that's wild -- "brattled" got probably the biggest laugh out of me when I saw it, too. I found myself shaking my head and thinking something like, "I know -- I know...oh God, yes...oh, tell it like it IS, honey..." I guess when we can really start to identify with it, it becomes all that much funnier.

Your "snowballed" contribution was cool (pun intended) -- although I'm thankful I haven't been on the wrong end of one of those yet -- well...from a school bus stop, anyway. :)

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), September 26, 2000.

ROFLMAO Patricia, a WINNER! Now THIS is real meeting prep material, I'm going to take your list to work, funny stuff!

-- FactFinder (FactFinder@bzn.com), September 26, 2000.
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