What If, O God, What If!

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I have this terrible fear that, after agreeing to help me with or appear in my movie, everyone will change their minds, even though no-one has even hinted at it, and everyone seems excited and pleased to be involved. What is your most unlikely fear?

-- Kymm Zuckert (hedgehog@hedgehog.net), September 25, 2000

Answers

I couldn't really think of unlikely fears when I was first reading this last night, except for thngs like the dark and that's not unlikely cause there really *are* things in the dark. Until I went to bed, and Jeff was snoring and then he stopped snoring, and then I had to check if he was still breathing. This is my hopefully unlikely fear, that Jeff will stop breathing in the bed next to me.

I know when this started, I can pinpoint the person I was with at the time. It was pre-Jeff, a guy I went out with for a couple of months. He snored, and it kept me awake the first night, I tend to be awake the first night while I get used to another person in the Bed. So, he's snoring, I'm watching and listening. And the snoring stops. And the sound stops. Completely. He's not breathing. At All. I check his mouth, no air, I check his chest, no movement. I'm steps away from having a bit of a freak about this, trying to remember the CPR I learned 10 years ago. I end up shaking him and he starts breathing again. Who knew he had sleep apnea??

So, I start going out with Jeff, a year or so later. And Jeff also snores. And he's a creative snorer, chainsaws, buzzsaws, coffee percolaters, the whole lot. So when he stops, it's very very quiet. Too quiet. I poked him in the eye, quite accidentally one night, when I was feeling for his mouth to make sure he was still breathing.

If I get to sleep before he starts snoring, I don't wake up when he stops, it's a purely if I'm awake type fear.



-- Amanda Page (amanda@amandasprecipice.com), September 25, 2000.

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