What's the funniest bumper sticker you ever saw?

I saw one the other day that made me laugh:

"Men have feelings, too. But, like...who cares?"

-- Anonymous, September 23, 2000

Answers

One of my favorites is the one that says, "My kid just kicked the shit out of your honor student". Around here all the damn Navigators and Expeditions being driven by little moms too damn short to see over the steering wheel have that damn honor student bumper sticker all over their damn bumpers. And another favorite around here is the spin-off on VW's b-sticker. Fuckingroovin" is too cool. The bumper sticker capitol of the world must be here. Everyone has at least 3 or 4 and most have more. The warzone is fun to walk through and just read B-stickers. James

-- Anonymous, September 23, 2000

I saw this one in Portland and it made me roar: "What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?"

-- Anonymous, September 23, 2000

Bumper stickers that answer other bumper stickers are sometimes funnier than the original. Two I like:

"When is SHIT Going To STOP Happening?"

"If you can read this...Hug your English teacher."

-- Anonymous, September 23, 2000

I don't you about favorites. I know I've seen a lot I thought were funny as hell, but I can't remember them. My best friend loves bumper stickers and gave me some, so my car proudly states:

"I have PMS and a gun. Don't mess with me." "Honk if you love peace and quiet" and "Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population."

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2000

"Hang up and drive!!!!" has been a favorite of mine lately, but the all-time best-ever sticker has got to be:

"Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2000

"Friends don't let friends vote Republican."

"I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public."

"You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers."

-

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2000

Love it! Especially the Republican one. I saw another that said:

"THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH REPUBLICANS"

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2000

My favorite bumper sticker have to be...Girls kick ass! I live with fear everyday ...but sometimes she lets me race and the last on isHonk if parts fall off!! I have this one on my pick up and I truely mean it!! lol

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2000

I laughed out loud at these:

On a Range Rover: "The parts falling off this vehicle are of the finest English manufacture."

"Very funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes."

My favorite, though, has already been mentioned: "Hang up and drive."

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2000

I like the serial bumper stickers best, too (ones that answer previous bumper stickers.) For example...
1) Visualize world peace.
2) Visualize whirled peas.
3) Forget world peace, visualize using your turn signal.

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2000

It's political, but it looked so official I thought it was real for a nanosecond. Which made it funnier.

George Dubya Bush: He ain't a crackhead no more! Praise!

The guy was apparently an equal-opportunity politician-basher, as he had a similar one for Gore, too, but the light changed before I could read it. Alas. (It was something about Gore "inventing the Internet", though. Hee.)

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2000

I live in Texas and Texans seem addicted to bumper stickers. Since I realize that many citizens of Gwentown aren't Southerners, I'm going to list some that seem endemic to the south. If you don't get it, I'll explain later.

'Possum - the other white meat

So many cats - So few recipes

Free mustache rides

Please keep honking while I reload

Redneck Fast Food: Roadkill

Hell yeah I'm drunk! Ya think I'm a stunt driver?

Support the Arts. F--k a guitar player

Poontang! It ain't just for breakfast, anymore.

Got Dope?

Jesus is Coming! (and boy is he pissed)

Theft protected by Smith&Wesson

My sister is tighter than your sister. (Ask Paw.)

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2000

"The quickest way to a man's heart, is through his sternum."

kinda graphic...

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2000

I suggested this one to Internet Bumper Stickers, and they used it!

"What Would Xena Do?"

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2000

Hopefully that's for an emergency heart massage, Lisa D. *chuckle* Here's one I saw today on I-45. What worries me is that SOMEBODY's Grandmother was driving the car.

Horn Broken...Watch for Finger!

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2000

Seen in Berkeley: "Earth First! We'll clear cut other planets later."

-

-- Anonymous, September 27, 2000

Hey, if any of you peeps know a good web site that has good bumper stickers for sale, post it please. I got that new van that needs some stickers, but all I can get here are Jesus themes. Thanks

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2000

Dude... what are you saying? You don't want to fill your bumper with Jesus stickers?

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2000

Saw another one today that made me laugh: On the back of a teenage girl's red convertible,

I want to be JUST LIKE BARBIE when I grow up! (That little bitch has everything.)

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2000

Dude, I do have the whole bumper filled with "our Lord" stickers. I just left one space for something irreverent, cause he likes that!

Need that glow in the dark Mary figure for the dashboard.

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2000

Gee, thanks for THAt earworm, girlfriend. :)

"I don't care if it rains or freezes, 'long as I gots my plastic Jesus, ridin' on the dashboard of my car..."

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2000

Go Ahead And Honk, IM RELOADING

-- Anonymous, November 05, 2000

Im a country boy so, half of the bumperstickers i see are redneck ones. My favorite is......

CHEVY "Like a Cock"

-- Anonymous, November 05, 2000

Saw one on I-85 this morning and I can't believe they got across the state line with it:

"The problem with Baptists is they don't hold them under long enough."

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2000

It made me snicker..."Tax the Church"

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2000

Mary Ellen, I'm betting they weren't on their way to see the reverend- doctor-doctor-reverend Billy Graham here in Florida....

-- Anonymous, November 06, 2000

I saw a good one..."Don't tailgate me, or I'll flick a booger on your windshield." Heh.

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2000

Oh, and Lisa D...where are you from in FL? I live in Polk County..Just curious.

-- Anonymous, November 07, 2000

brett used to have one on his car that sayd racers are speedy luvers! imiss brett

-- Anonymous, November 08, 2000

Don't worry, Floosie. You'll find another man real soon. Like you said in your poem, date everyone you don't hate. :-)

-- Anonymous, November 11, 2000

Aaahhhh Floosie, I wish I was single and you didn't think I was such a perv. I'd make you forget Bratt. James

-- Anonymous, November 11, 2000