Anyone planning them already?

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

Answers

I'm supposed to be cutting mine out right now. We're going to the Renaissance Faire, all five of us in costume. It should be fun.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

My company usually has a Halloween costume contest. I used to not enter it, but I have for the past two years. Two years ago, when my wife worked at this company, we went as Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. I had on a Bill mask, a suit and a jumbo plastic cigar. She had on a blue dress, a black beret and knee pads. We won first place. :-) Last year, I went as a biker bitch from hell, complete with a plastic bosom/bustier thing from a costume store, a woman's leather jacket, studded wristbands and choker collar, big black sunglasses, black nail polish, pink lipstick, a long black wig under an American flag bandana, handcuffs in my back pockets and the crowning touch, Billy Bob teeth (which are wicked nasty prosthetic teeth that gross people out on sight). I won second place behind a girl dressed up as a roadkill kitty cat.

This year, I plan on having our hair stylist, who's gay and "married" to a florist/drag-queen, dress me up in major drag as a washed-up burlesque queen named Tipsy Bananas. This is so radically out of character for me that I should have 'em eating out of the palm of my hand and that first place prize will once again be mine.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

Don't know about this year yet, but I've been "Devil with a blue dress on" more than once. Basic devil costume accessories and Spice Girl/Coop Girl red platform spikes, black bob wig, etc., but then a very blue dress. I have one that's that weird kind of velvet that has a red underliner, that one worked well. Also once wore a vintage 70's mini (it was so fugly it was cute).

Using the devil props, have also gone (in a duet costume) as "Your Conscience". I was "Do It" and my roommate, in an angel costume, was "Don't Do It".

I went as Cruella DeVil ne year and the hardest part was finding the bile-green eyeshadow. The next hardest bit was the fur coat. The hair was the easiest--they were selling them pre-dyed & shaped. I thought I was going to have to dye a white bob half black and spray it up into a hair-don't like Cruella's. The long red gloves were also easy.

Went as Andy Warhol one year as well (very easy). Just wear all black, get a white bob and mess it up, carry a camera and a bottle of Vidal Sasson and exclaim how wonderful everything is and how beautful everyone looks, very quietly, and only if directly challenged. It was great, I had a lot of photos of everyone...except, alas, ME.

Went as St. Lucy (martyr who had her eyes plucked out) and designed costume based on a WIRED cover (I think it was WIRED) which had a woman in a strawberry blonde bob with a 'halo headband', gold cape with big fasteners in the front, a big gaudy gold cross necklace, a drapey navy dress, and gold sandals. Carried scooter balls that looked like two blue eyes on a pillow (like a ring bearer) and wrapped black gauze over my eyes. I walked around that way. People found it disconcerting because they didn't know I could see through the gauze and I was racing up and down flights of stairs, etc.

My friend J. swears she is going as "Sweetness and Light" this year. You can find portable white battery-operated Xmas light strings in dollar stores, and she plans to wear a bunch of those and carry a jar of honey.

Have no idea what to do this year. Maybe Andy again, or maybe I'll drag out those devil props again. God, I love Hallowe'en.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

Re: St. Lucy. I was wrong, she was on the cover of MONDO 2000 in the early 90's.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

I've wanted to wear all red, get a red bicycle and tie tampons to it, and go as the menstrual cycle. But I haven't found a cheap red bicycle to do that with.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

Halloween is my *absolute* favorite holiday of the year! I've never gone a year without dressing up...It's one of the great things about living in Austin: it's cool to dress up. Just about Everyone does, and the parties I've been to, they kick out the people who don't at least make an effort. This year I'm going as a voodoo doll (burlap outfit, "x"s over my eyes, pins and needles sticking out all over). My boyfriend is going as the Victim. He's going to have blood packs in the same spots that will explode periodically. We're still trying to work out the logistics, but I think it'll be fun.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

Good topic, Gwendoleena! For the past two years, I've been some kind of prostitute. The outfit is always a small skirt and itsy bitsy top and ridiculous platform four inch heels.

In '98, I was a dead whore. I had the gory makeup that looked like a slashed throat and a bullet hole in my head. We went to see the Halloween Parade in NYC, and a police man asked if I was okay. I was all "Oh, yeah, I'm just a dead whore." My mom would have been so damned proud.

Then last year, I was a crack whore. I had messy makeup and messy hair and ripped fishnets, and my boyfriend carried around a little perfume vial that he would flash every so often to spark my crackhead interest. Women on the street in NY complimented me on my stockings.

Should I be a high class ho this year? Gimme some new ho ideas, people!

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

You could go as a "Ho in the Wall." Just get some particle board, cut out a hole for your head... Sorry,I love the puns.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

I love Halloween and costumes too, but never have the occasion to go anywhere. I've wanted to go as either Dead Juliet (my Ren costume, a daggar, death-white makeup) or as a drag queen for many years now, but, alas....

The most offensive costumes I've ever seen was when I was about 10... my mom and her best friend had a costume party. My mom and her friend went as (their word, not mine) "niggers." Why? Because they felt they were the "nigger-maids" of their families, always having to slave away- Mind you, this is when my mother spent the better part of her days going shopping for gold jewelry with said friend, so I think that "we're such slaves to our family" bit was quite a stretch....

I really don't know why I felt compelled to share that....

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2000

This is a great topic. My hometown is a host of a huge halloween party (250,000) - Athens, Ohio - Ohio University. I've seen people dressed as the local dump, trash stapled to a sheet with little seagulls on wires around their head. I think the seagulls came from a florist shop.

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2000

don't ask how I know this, but you can get "Craft Birds" on the cheap at Hobby Lobby. They even come with attachement wire on their little feet.

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2000

Three years ago, I conned my mother into bastardizing a pattern for a cheerleader costume into a lavender Sailor-fuku for me. She finished it up the night before my Halloween party and didn't have time to sew the bows and collar down, so it's STILL safety-pinned together. I've learned to make my hair do the Sailormoon thing pretty well, too. (A saleslady at Penney's the other day told me out of nowhere that I looked "JUST LIKE Sailor Moon" (even though I am neither blonde nor fourteen years old). That validated my entire existence.) My best friend says there is nothing scarier in the world than me, covered in glitter, running perkily up and down the halls with my Darth Vader lightsaber, screaming "Kono Sailorkitty ga tsukini kawatte oshioki yo!" It's a good way to get the other girls to leave me alone, anyway, so I think I'll go with that again this year.

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2000

I would very much like to have Chris go as Christo and the kids and I would be 'wrapped'. I'm esp. all into the idea of putting the baby in a pillow case and tying cord around her. She's be so cute. Way cuter than those babies they send out as pea pods.

I can't find a picture of Christo though. Anyone know what the man looks like? No web searches turned up photos or descriptions.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

I didn't have a costume last year but I went to a party, was wearing Addidas pants, black dress shoes, white socks, wife beater, my chains and a suit jacket and some girl was like, 'Hey are you dressed as Kid Rock?' I wasn't sure how to answer because yes, but it's just my everyday gear, not a costume.

Nicole, menstrual cycle? Very fking funny!

I was thinking of wearing all black and splattering eggs all over myself and saying I was an 'Egg Beater'. What do you think?

I like the idea of the various types of whore costumes. Is that fun to do Erika? Is it huge contrast from your everyday life and that's why you do it? Maybe we should talk. You could join my stable...

Milla, too long again. Couldn't follow.

Peace out peeps.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

kdrock, how DID you manage school if you can't manage 5 or 6 short, witty, and very interesting paragraphs? Good grief!

One of my best costumes was my 50s costume... I got a skirt -- a REAL 50s skirt, not some felt imitation -- at a thrift store for a dollar. Another dollar landed me a scoop-necked short sleeved sweater. I borrow a round-collared blouse from Gram, and a pair of her old loafers, and ta da! I wore that costume for, like, 7-8 Halloweens... definately got my money's worth.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

Please don't compare Milla's posts to the likes of Kafka, Joyce, Voltaire and my other favorites from 2 years of Post Grad World Lit.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

In defense of kdrock, I scrolled past Milla's post too, since it was just too long for my liking.

When I was 13 I was a cheerleader for the town's football league and for some reason I never returned the outfit, so I wore that for a few years for Halloween, until I loaned it senior year in high school to my friend Dave and I think he still has it. That outfit was definitely well used.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

if you don't want to read a post, DON'T FUCKING READ IT. God, I just do not understand what about this concept is so impossible for some people to grasp.

Part Two: If you choose to skip a post, then *don't* waste everyone else's time by posting about not reading it!!!

I don't give a flying fuck about who reads what post. Jesus.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

Yeah! What she said!

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

Please don't post about posts about not reading posts.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

Yeah! And don't waste everyone else's time posting "Part Two: If you choose to skip a post, then *don't* waste everyone else's time by posting about not reading it!!!"

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

Hey, I was just getting kdrock's back. Dwanollah had Milla's back.

Why are you trying to start a fight, klee?

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

And while we're at it with the don'ts, don't "feel compelled to share" stories that are sure to offend. A wise person once told me that there's a BACKSPACE button on your keyboard, and you can use it pretty easily. The word N---er in any context is offensive, and I cannot believe that an educated person would type it in a public forum.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

[i]The word N---er in any context is offensive, and I cannot believe that an educated person would type it in a public forum. [/i]

Um, hello, that was my whole point... that it was offensive, in the extreme. Whether you type it out or do an N----- doesn't change the word.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

Dwanollah, I think Danni meant that you didn't have to post that story at all. Even you said you didn't know what compelled you to write that story. I wondered the same thing.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

quite the opposite, Nicole-- I wanted to *stop* the fighting. Milla posts. She says nothing to anyone about the size or content of their posts. kdrock comes in and feels the need to be critical of Milla's writing, in public. That's how it all started-- with one person being unnecessarily insulting/critical/unkind to another person who had done no one any harm. It's mean. I don't like it. I had stayed clear of Gwen's boards for weeks hoping that this sort of childish, smug behavior would finish running its course, but clearly, it hasn't. The fact that rational people like yourself are now defending those who are bullying others-- that makes no sense to me.

Gwen, I'm sorry. I tried. And I'm sorry for inadvertently having helped another topic disentegrate into conflict and accusations.
Bye.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

You know, I meant it as a semi-dorky, wholey-"isn't this offensive?" story... the kind we've ALL shared on various boards at one time or another. I wasn't expecting anyone to be impressed by the creativity of said costume or think it was a good idea... it's not a word I use in casual conversation. At best, I thought the story might prompt an "offensive costumes" offshoot... "hey, this guy came to our party dressed as a child molester" or something. Since most of the people that participate in this forum and others are at least semi-familiar with my posts, I made the mistake of assuming that the use of the uncensored "N word" (instead of euphamism) would be understood as *deliberatly* underscoring the offensiveness of the story itself.... That was my point.

The power of words -- and this is prolly another thread in itself -- isn't to be underestimated. But why is it acceptable to use "fuck" and "shit"... or even "white-trash," which is also a racial slur? I'm not going to launch into a whole Huck Finn/censorship thing, but really... maybe we SHOULD have a discussion on the subject? The exchange of sometimes-differing ideas about controversial subjects is one of the things I've found most compelling and challenging about forums.

But if I'm *that* offensive to everyone, then I'll voluntarily leave Gwen's forum. Again, I was under the mistaken impression that the point of the story would be understood.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

Deep breaths, people. Relax.

Back on-topic. One of my co-workers went to a Halloween party a couple of years ago dressed as a urinal. He made himself a costume out of cardboard, had the "urinal cake" and everything. It was a very successful costume, so much so that he had to make sure he didn't stand in one place to long towards the end of the party - you know, some of the guys being a little inebriated and all.

A friend of my aunt's once went to a party in a black turtleneck and pants, with socks and other small pieces of clothing pinned to her outfit. She was "static cling."

"Menstrual cycle" - BWA!

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

I want to dress up as a deliberately offensive storyteller.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

Dwanollah, I abhor racism, but I got the point of your post, I found it interesting and entertaining, and I'd really like it if you don't leave.

On Topic: I should have won my company's Halloween costume contest last year. I told you all I went as a biker bitch from hell and took second place to Roadkill Kitty. This girl always has great costumes. This one was an ordinary light blue kitty cat costume, only she wrapped a bandage around the middle of the tail, ala Tom 'n' Jerry, painted gory wounds on her face and had a giant diagonal tire tread running across her body. I have to admit the overall effect was very good, but nowhere near as good as mine. Oh, by the way, the contests are decided based on applause from your gathered fellow employees.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

I've already noted that I don't give a flip if someone reads or doesn't read my posts. Frankly, I skip posts from people that I feel generally are consistent at bringing down the tenor & tone of otherwise interesting forum discussions, so I hadn't noticed the comment until it was pointed out. No harm, no foul.

saskatchewan: Christo is an excellent idea. You could also carry huge blue and red umbrellas and have a Japanese guy impaled by one. Which happened when he did the umbrella installations in Japan...a gust of wind picked one of them up, and they were huge and heavy and this poor guy got umbrella'ed to death. Oy. (Those unfamiliar with Christo, go here: http://www.salonmag.com/people/bc/2000/04/11/christo/print.html and here: http://www.bunnies.de/akiko/frames/bearpres.htm)

This page has a bad picture of Christo (or XTO): http://users.deltanet.com/~plockton/christo_bibliography.html and this one has a slightly better but still small one: http://www.wnet.org/cityarts3/show6/uncutp.html

Suffice it to say that he looks vaguely like Woody Allen crossed with a quantum physicist.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

heh. heh. Um, I am really ashamed to admit this, but when Sask... said "Christo" I thought you meant like the Monte Cristo and I was like, Hmmm, going as a sandwich?? I get it now. Jeez.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

Gardanna, hee!!! Actually one of the best costumes I ever saw was someone going as a table with a plate of sandwiches on top. :)

They wore white pants and white tennis shoes and wore white gloves and poked holes in the table cloth for their arms. The table itself was a cardboard box. Their head went through a 'silver' plastic deli tray platter glued to the table cloth and they put fake restaurant model kale (that crappy green barely-edible plant stuff that Wendy's puts on its salad bars) around the edges. There was a place setting (a plastic plate, fork, knife, spoon and 'wine glass', all attached) and a Christmas candelabra rigged to work off a battery pack and a vase with plastic flowers. The sandwiches weren't part of the original costume, but he improvised when going to the snack table. ;) It turned out to be extremely impractical and uncomfortable, but he did win the prize for best costume...a dinner for two at a nice restaurant. *snicker*

People kept trying to stick apples from the bobbing-for-apples bucket in his mouth all night.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

nicola are you going to be a period?? thats soooo funny!!! if you cant find a red bike you could just cut some black paper in a circle and pin it to yoour shirt. may be ill do that!!!

my freinds having a hallowen party and bretts goinna be a race car driver and i was thinking of being kathy lee but thats kinda hard so i might go as a bride and then ill get more then one use out of my wedding gown.

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2000