Do you talk to your neighbors? Is your neighborhood friendly?

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

Answers

When I moved into the neighborhood, my neighbor came over and started telling me all of the neighborhood gossip and then started asking way too personal questions for someone who just met me.

The next day, she brought a plate of cookies over. That was nice. But at the bottom of the pile was a business card asking us to join in worship at their church. pretty damn tacky if you ask me.

There is a small strip of dirt between our driveways. She has a strip of dirt on each side. Last summer, her mint was so overgrown, no one could get out of my car without being attacked by it, and we wound up stepping on so much of it, I dug it all up. It's my strip of dirt. I thought all was well and good, that they were observing my expectation that nothing grow there so people could get in and out of my vehicle, but a few weeks ago they planted a whole mess of plants. I drive over them every chance I get.

There is a website for our county police where I can type in my zip code and find out if there are any convicted sex felons in my neighborhood. I learned last week that someone who lives two streets below me has been convicted of rape, etc. I'm not happy, and I don't feel safe, but there's really not much I can do besides make sure no one is stalking me and locking my doors.

I rambled. Blah. Sorry.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

This neighborhood ain't bad, for middle-class white suburbia (hey, I fit right in). My previous neighborhood was much worse, with houses all crammed together and lots of parents who didn't watch their kids who were always being pests. This neighborhood I'm in now is much nicer, people are more polite, the kids much better behaved. I even occasionally talk with my neighbors, but we don't do things such as invite each other over for dinner or anything. Actually, I think that's mostly a function of our personalities, because some of our neighbors DO hang out in a major way.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

I lived here for a full year before I ever met any of my neighbors. Then one night I was lying in bed naked and reading when suddenly an ear piercing siren broke out. The fire alarm. Not my own apartment's smoke detector, but the alarm for the whole building. I assume it is a false alarm but get dressed and go outside anyway. Turns out there is an actual fire in the next building. So my neighbors and I spent a few hours watching the firemen and getting to know each other. It was pretty fun that night but I never made any real friends from that incident. The one cool girl I met moved away a month later and the 2 guys I met only tried to mack on me in the end. So now it is another year later and once again I don't know anybody. I say hello to people I see but that's about it.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

I recently moved to a new flat, and so far it seems like a really friendly area.

I was walking home last night, and as I turned on to my road, I saw a guy just a little way ahead of me, walking in the same direction. I was walking faster, so I was about to catch up when he paused in front of my house, and I realised it was my next-door neighbour. He stood in front of my front window, on tip-toes, gazing into the room (the light was on) and he practically broke his neck trying to see what was in there.

That tells me he's caring and interested.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

I've lived in my house for five years, and I barely know any of my neighbors, yet everyone knows who I am.

When we first moved in we spoke to the couple who live right next to us, but the more we talked to them the more creepy they seemed, so now I just wave to them and say hello and keep away from them. Every time I meet someone who lives in my neighborhood they seem to know who I am and are all "You're the one with the two cute dogs/white Jeep Wrangler/ferret flag" or "I always see you and your husband working in the front yard" and it really bothers me that none of these people stop and say hello to me. My husband says it is my fault for not talking to them first, but if they are the ones who notice me you would think that they would make the first move. It also doesn't help that every time the homeowner's association has a party or picnic or something, we always have plans the same day so we don't go to the functions.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

I rent a house from a couple who plan to retire in it. That should tell you about my neighbors. The people on one side came to say hi to us when we first moved in, but when my stupid fiancee said "hi, this is my girlfriend" the woman blanched right then and there and kept a noticeable distance from us from then on, until the day she moved out. I guess she figured we weren't all that bad because we were pretty quiet, because we had a nice long conversation one day when I came home and she was standing in her driveway, just having packed up all her stuff (they moved) The people who live there now are really nice to my fiancee but the woman wants nothing to do with me. The husband is nice to me, but he goes all out talking to the fiancee. Weird. On the other side we have this OTHER hellion.. some guy who moved in with his girlfriend and loudly broke up with her 3 weeks later. Now I never see him (I suspect he works nights) but I always see other people parked there. mmm..big stud, he must be. He is really shy around me but him and my fiancee engage in that pathetic macho man talk whenever they see each other. As for the rest of them, there are getting to be lots of young couples with kids.. I smile at them as I try not to run their kids over when I get home from work, and they smile at me in appreciation for being one of the few who goes slow on our roads. I wouldn't have a problem talking to these people but I'm too shy to make the first move. Plus anyone with kids has probably got a whooole different set of priorities in life than I do. Occasionally I sit out on the front steps and the kids will wander nearby and talk to me.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

I live in a small apartment building, there's only 11 units. In my old building, there were a lot more, it was a high rise. I'm amazed and somewhat annoyed at how friendly we all are in my building. I feel like I have to say "hi" a lot and they have parties and I never go. That's not as mean as it sounds, I swear!

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

I'm in a corner house. On one side is Washington, a fairly busy street. To our left on that side is the owner of Aggie Stop, a convenience store several blocks away that has Byzantine rules about check-writing and the world's surliest clerks. I don't talk to him because I'm afraid he'll bark at me, like the clerks he hires, but I admire his wooden balcony and the nice stone bits of landscaping through my kitchen window.

On the other side is a little residential street. My neighbors in the yellow house to the right are a young couple with a really cute, happy baby. They are students, but they have an impeccable lawn and sprinklers and so on, so I feel like they're really just grown-ups finishing their college degree. We don't have much to talk about, tho they visited my garage sale.

Across the street is one of the professors from my department. He has a little electric lawnmower that he uses like a vacuum cleaner on his lawn, and a big fat truck he parks in the best spot on the street all the time. We pretend not to see each other unless it's obvious that we do see each other, in which case we wave. He's embarassed to be living across from a student, and I'm nervous to be living aross from a professor.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

I really like my neighborhood. I've got a Baptist music minister on one side, a jewish family across the street, a Mormon family down the street and 2 lesbians (one a surgeon) with 2 kids, down the street. Plus other folks sprinkled in, so I'm happy about it. However, last year we had a wild ass maniac living behind us that would periodically freak out, climb on top of the privacy fence and shout to the neighborhood that he was going to get us all (with an axe in his hand.) Plus sometimes he would jump over my locked gate and walk through the yard looking for his cat. nice. The police said, "let your dogs after him. If he gets torn up, just drag part back into the yard so we know he was trespassing." hmmm...I'm pretty sure I would have messed up my clothes dragging his half-chewed carcass back in the yard, so I passed on that suggestion. Thankfully, he moved, but it did bring the rest of the neighborhood together.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

I know the neighbors next door on both sides of me and the two across the street pretty well and I've only lived in this house since February. I think when you have kids you get to know your neighbors rather quickly, especially if all the kids are around the same age.

And they all are very cool too.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

In the ghetto you know your neighbors, your neighbors' friends, their business, and you either get along famously or you scowl at either when your paths cross.

Here in my "good" neighborhood few of the neighbors speak to each other. The person in the apartment next door is someone I've known for 15 years - she's the one who let me know this apt was available - and we used to be friends but she's not what you'd call a respectable person. When I became a mama there were a lot of behaviors that I stopped, while she's never let her kids (she's got three boys) get in the way of a "good time".

We've had many falling outs over the years and the final straw came this Sunday, when we got into a fight and I had to kick her ass on my porch.

That's not too neighborly.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

We are the youngest people in our neighbourhood. Many of our neighbours are the original owners of their homes, and they're all retired for the most part. I really like the old dude on one side of us. He gives us tomatoes all the time and flower seeds, and he lets us cut roses from the bush on the fence between our houses.

The lady on the other side is okay but she has made disparaging comments on the state of your yard. Cut me slack, Stella. We've only been in the house for a year and the house and the yard were let go for about 25 years before we bought it. Yeah, I'd like my yard to be nicer but I haven't had the time for it yet. Besides, it's not THAT bad.

There's a guy who's 96 who walks around the neighbourhood all the time. I've only waved to him, I've never spoken to him, though. I think waving is neighbourly.

The people across the road are probably 8 to 10 years older than us and they have two teenaged boys. We only wave at the them because the man is a real busybody and he's always sticking his nose in your business when you're out doing anything. This type of thing really bugs my husband, so we've kept him at arms length.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

I have righteous neighbors. I live in an old Norwegian enclave in Seattle, and my neighbor Etta brings me dahlias and cookies so nasty I have to use them as door stops (I told my six year old they were punishment cookies and he started crying). Anyway, Etta makes up gossip. She watches America's Most Wanted and tells me she's seen convicts at the store. Perverts in the bushes. I love Etta.

Across the street is Nick the Greek. His flatulent old cocker spaniel nipped one of my kids and now he brings me homemade baklava on a weekly basis. He's very sweet. He lives next door to his ex-wife, who started having an affair with the neighbor and just decided to move in with him. It's a good neighborhood, filled with crazy old people. I wouldn't have it any other way.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

To Lisa D: The reason I moved out of your neighborhood was because I couldn't find any more cats for my PussyGalore chili recipe and no one would take me up on my weekly "Axe-a-rama" challenge. (Just joking) I really don't have any neighbors because I live in the country on 10 acres with pastures and woods (which belong to other people) around me. But I'll admit I'm not a good neighbor. I own german shepherds (4) which are never tied up, and three vehicles. When I did live in a neighborhood, a lady came to my door one evening and said "Did you know your dog always eats the cat food I leave on the back porch for my cat?" And I just laughed and said "Well, you know everything always tastes better when you eat out." She was not amused. Hell, I had to build a platform up in this pecan tree to leave food for OUR cats. Otherwise the dogs get it. My closest neighbor is a small store where they NEVER ask for ID when I cash a check and they call me "MISTER Bubba." One time I forgot my check book and the young gal just pinned the receipt to the wall with "Bubba" written on it and said I could pay the next time. Everyone in town either waves, smiles or gives me the finger (which in this neck of the woods is a humorous way of greeting really GOOD friends.) My enemies don't even LOOK at me. And they better not, either, if they want to continue living in peace and relative anonymity.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

Bubba, I knew it wasn't you because your gentlemanly ways still shine through your tuff exterior...and everyone knows that cat chili is an urban myth, and you live in the country, silly!

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

Bubba, having the store owners know that you're good for whatever you need, when you don't have money on you, is pretty cool.

BTW, I can't imagine you having any enemies.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2000

Thank you, Ladies. You're both very sweet.

-- Anonymous, September 23, 2000

I live in a way cool place. Ocean Beach is filled with mostly post teenagers down in the war zone and cool young to middle age home owners up the hill. People are usually really friendly around here. "Waaasssssuuuuuppppppp" is the current greeting these days. I usually end the refrain "your ass" when my boys say it to me. I work in my front yard alot and people are always walking by and conversing with me. My wife says I talk too much. They admire my cactus garden and my Peruvian Lillies when in bloom. My Camillia trees always bring conversation. My immediate neighbors are too cool. Chris helps me with remodeling my house, Ray brings me lobster when it's in season(he's a lobster fisherman) Gail and Cathy are a riot and during Charger seanson I have to threaten them with calling the police when all the girls come over and shout, scream and just carry on big time well into the early morning hours. Across the street Damian and his wife just increased the worlds population by one and Richard sits, as usual, and talks to himself in his van for an hour or so every morning. But on the other side of me is Willy. God what an asshole. He is an absolute maniac. Screams all the time when things don't go his way. Absolutely starck raving lunytic and totally out of control. He scares my wife. And next time he goes off on his kids and chases them down the street screaming profanities at them, I'm going to kick his ass. I've already put a ding in his head out surfing one day. He took off in front of me so I speared him in the back of the head. He went off on me big time and I just laughed at him. He's a goooommmmbbbbah! I told him to shut the f--k up. But the rest of the nieghborhood is about the best anyone could imagine. And the girl living next to Damian is to die for. Oy!!!!. James

-- Anonymous, September 23, 2000

jimmy you are a perv!!! you sound like that old perv that lives next to me. i always catch him checking me out and hes always leering at me and its just so gross.

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2000

I love that butterfly tattoo you have down below your cute little belly. So sexy. Chester M.

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2000

Floosie, Floosie. Be thankful you're young and beautiful and the old guy enjoys looking at you. Maybe you remind him of an old flame from his youth. When you're old and grey and people brush past you without seeing you, you'll dream of the time you could catch someone's eye. Give the old fart a wave and a smile. Maybe staring is the omly way he has of paying homage to your beauty. I mean, he doesn't do anything offensive, right? He just looks? No harm done. Be kind.

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2000

I can't remember that far back Bubba. James

-- Anonymous, September 25, 2000

james i so do not have a butter fly tatoo. your still a perv! sick- o!

Bubba this old perv guy is at least 40! its gorss

-- Anonymous, September 27, 2000

Holy cow! 40, huh? It's a wonder the old fuck can still hobble around. You can probably outrun him, Floosie. (She's too defensive, James...I'll bet she does have that tattoo.)

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2000

I DONT HAVE A TATOO!!!!

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2000

Floosie girl, you are "so" cute when you get like that. Old Perv

-- Anonymous, October 14, 2000