Two extremely sad Mackem b@st@rds (Terry & Dave) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub in half-breedland when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two mackems start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.

Terry: -I reckon he's an accountant.

Dave: -No way he's a stockbroker.

Terry: -He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in this dump!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Terry and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the mackem...

Terry: -Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: -No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession!

Terry: -Oh! What's that then?

Suit: -I'll try to explain by example............Do you have a goldfish at home?

Terry: -Er...mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: -Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

Terry: -It's in a pond!

Suit: -Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

Terry: -As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

Suit: -Well then it's logical to assume that in this town that if you have a large garden that you have a large house?

Terry: -As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built it myself!

Suit: -Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?

Terry: -Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children!

Suit: -Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?

Terry: -Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: -Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?

Terry: -Me? Never

Suit: -Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Terry:-How's that then?

Suit: -Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about the size of garden you have, the size of house, your family and your sex life!

Terry: -I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Terry returns to his sad bastard of a mate.

Dave: -I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Terry: -Yep ! He's a logical scientist!

Dave: -What's that then?

Terry: -I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Dave: -Nope

Terry: -Well then, you're a wanker!!!

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

Answers

LOL - good start to a rainy day. Tee hee.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

Well bud, seeing as there are no other NEW entries, looks ike you win the prize again, I'll put the three numbered balls into a hat and see which ones of the prizes is drawn out (let you know what you won later)

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

Hey rik, I put a lot of work into that one, at first I wanted it to be a Becks./Cole joke!

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

OK, then how about this one:

A mackem couple ars watching TV in front of the heater on a cold winter's night. Suddenly the ape stands up and says to his wife "Put your coat on,I'm going down to the pub for a couple of hours" "Oh great" responds his wife "so you are taking me with you!" "Am I f*@k ", he says "but I am turning the heater off!"

;-7

-- Anonymous, September 16, 2000