A lump of black tarmac walks into a bar, orders a pint and as the Barman is serving him, it says to him "I'm f**king hard I am". The barman looks a little taken aback but says to him "Really sir, that's very nice for you". The black tarmac sits down to drink his pint.

When he is ready, he walks back up to the bar and orders another pint. Again, the barman serves him the pint and again the black tarmac says "I'm f**king hard I am." The barman is finding this more strange but again says "really sir, that's very nice for you". This happens a few more times until the door to the pub opens and in walks a lump of red tarmac.

Seeing the red tarmac, the black tarmac gets up and runs out the back door of the pub.

The red tarmac walks to the bar and orders a pint. "That's strange" says the barman, "we had a lump of black tarmac in here just now".

The red tarmac replies menacingly "Really, where is he now?"

The Barman has a look round but can't see the black tarmac anywhere "Oh he must have gone' he replies so he serves the pint and the red tarmac sits down to drink it.

The barman goes outside to collect some glasses and finds the black tarmac hiding under one of the tables shaking.

"Hey" says the barman "I thought you were f**king hard"?! The black tarmac looks at him and says........................................................................ ....................... .................................

































"Course I'm hard, but that red tarmac - he's a f**king cyclepath!"

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

Answers

LOL. After a really shitty day. That made me laugh that did!

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

Brill - already on its way to inboxes around the world....!

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000