Yeah, I was walking down the block, just to unwind a bit after a long day at the office and guess what... some whacko hops out from behind the bushes with a video camera wanting to film me and make me say hi to the camera. I didn't know if he was going to steal the bomb pop I just bought from Mr. Softy or what. Well, I didn't say hi and he got really mad at me. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. (Sorry, my anger management classes aren't until Sunday).

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Answers

I hate it when that happens! And then if you looked pissed off, he says something like "Smile!" like he knows the answers to all your problems.

Loser.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

I wish that was legal where I lived. When I make my videos for www.backslap.com, I have to ask permission and then get everybody to sign release forms. If only filmmaking could be as easy as accosting people on the street!

Kdrock, you should be careful. It could just be that you're too enticing for your own good. Were you eating your bomb pop in a lascivious way, by any chance?

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Ohhhh, the old I was asking for it thing. You may be correct. I mean, I was just finishing up with the red section so I know my lips must have had that look.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Yeah, that's what I figured. I have this friend named Erika -- she gets hit on all the effing time when she's working the bomb pops. It's a common phenomenon.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

All the effing time, huh? Sounds like maybe she is bringing it on herself. You might want to check into her morality a bit. Excuse the graphic content but tonguing/deep throating bomb pops cannot be considered innocent and if that's the case, the little hussy deserves whatever she gets!

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Ya'll are lucky...I mean, getting A-CCOSTED all the time. You should try being a guy. I have days where I feel like I couldn't get a sympathy fuck if I was locked up in a prison for nymphomaniacs.

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

Bubba, have you tried appearing in public with a bomb pop?

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

What's a bomb pop? Because if they're so effective, I want one. I haven't gotten any, well, you know, for a long time.

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

It's a big push-ice pop that is several colors. You can suck on it provocatively to get a man's attention. You must be talking about another Erika with a "K", Gwen, because I'd eat my bomb pops very prudishly, with little bites.

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

Bomb Pops are ice pops that the ice-cream man sells. They have red, white and blue ice in different sections, getting narrower as you get closer to the top. Oh so good. They end up looking more like rockets or missiles than bombs. I guess Rocket Pop or Missile Pop just didn't make it... [] <-Red [[]] [[]] <-White [[[]]] [[[]]] <- Blue [] [] <-- popsicle stick Not to scale and memory might have failed me on the color schema.

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

The picture didn't display as planned. Sorry.

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

Ah, now I understand. Yes, I can see where it would be very, um, enticing to eat one of those in a certain manner. (Making mental note to investigate availability of bomb pops in the metro Philly area.)

Don't know if it would work for our guy Bubba, though. Based on his post, I gather he's hetero, and the attention he got might not be from his target audience. Just sayin'.

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

Well, Bubba has to start somewhere, though.

Erika, of course I meant the other Erika with a K. I know you're not a slattern, despite what everyone says.

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

Do Big Sticks work as well as Bomb Pops? Because I like that orangey- pineapple flavor better than red-white-and-blue... and I just need my femininity and attractiveness validated by tertiary males....

What about Fudgecicles? Or does that attract a whole 'nuther strain of weirdos?

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

"Fudgesicle"? "strain"? Oh, Dwanollah....

Ew.

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

Does anybodybody remember Mitch Miller...as in "Sing Along with Mitch Miller" TV Show? When we were kids we'd say "watching him eat a banana was the most erotic thing on television." You see, he had this funky goatee and... And look, Gwen...just for the record, I am not a member of that party, nor have I ever been, Madam Chairperson. However, when I was out in SanFran I would occassionally get accosted by a dues-paying member of the Flaming Flamingoes in a bar or somewhere and I never got bent, like some of ya'll are relating. Maybe I'm weird or something, but anytime anyone, no matter WHO they were, offered to play tinker-toys with me...I always thought it was a compliment. Hey, even if it's the neighbor's chihuahua humping your cowboy boot. Remember, they singled YOU out. You got to take an offer of affection with a light heart. There's so much of the other stuff going around. A buddy of mine hit up a girl in a bar once and she smiled sweetly and said "I wouldn't f**k you if I had a borrowed vagina." That's cold.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

Why, thank you, Paul! *curtsey* (*snicker*)

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

"I wouldn't eff you if I had a borrowed vagina"

It was priceless, and I think it needed to be repeated. Thank you, Bubba for that line. Totally Awesome.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

Yeah, Bubba, it's cold, but man oh man, it's funny.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

I love the 'borrowed vagina'!! I didn't think about it until you re- stated, Erika. Thanks, hon. Sounds like a great song title to me! I'm going to try to write something up.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

"Borrowed Vaginas" would be a great name for a rock band. (TM Dave Barry)

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

So ya'll are sayin' I need a hand full ah bombpops? The candy didn't work. James

-- Anonymous, September 16, 2000