Don't you just hate those stuck up people in their Navigators. James

-- Anonymous, September 12, 2000

Answers

What's a Navigator? Some brand of sunglasses?

I don't hate anyone or assume anyone is stuck up until I get to know them better, though.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Navigators are somewhat larger than normal SUVs. Made by Lincoln, I think. I don't have a problem with people in Navigators. Not til they start to park in the "Compact Car Only" spots.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Word on the SUVs in Compact Car spots. I hate that. You just know the people next to them are going to get their paint all destroyed--if you're in too much of a hurry to park where you're supposed to ("compact" being the antonym of "SUV"), you're not going to take the time to open your doors carefully. And if you do, the fifteen sweaty soccer kids in the back certainly won't think to!

The only thing worse is able-bodied people parking in Handicapped spots. I hate that and think grouchy and uncharitable thoughts. (Maybe I just can't think of a handicap that would allow you to drive and walk around without assistance or apparent difficulty, but which would prevent you from parking another ten feet farther from the front door.)

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

When I get married, I'm going to have a big white Lincoln Navigator limo. The whole wedding party can fit in it! Those cars are PHAT!!!

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Erika, it isn't as cool as the Hummer limo I rode in for my friend's wedding! Except it is a pain in the ass to climb in and out of.

And my grandmother has a very bad back, which could go out at any time. She is in constant pain all day, but doesn't show it. She has a back pillow she uses when she drives, and appreciates being able to park closer to stores using her handicapped plates. Since my grandfather is dead and she doesn't want to rely on others all the time, driving gives her a sense of independence and she doesn't want to sit around in her home all day.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

That makes perfect sense, actually! Thanks for the information. I, too, have a bad back, though probably one that is nowhere near as serious as your g'mother's, and I can relate to suffering from non- obvious back pain. But I wouldn't ever question anyone with handicapped plates or a tag. I also don't really question elderly folks who want to park close to a store, tag or not. I should have been more clear. It's those without either a plate or rearview tag/sticker who look able-bodied that I wonder about. Especially apparently able-bodied folks in sports cars wearing work-out clothes. Hmmm. I see all too many of those. Knowhutimean?

I just suspect that a lot of the non-Handicapped-plate-or-tag people are just gambling that they won't get caught...most drive vehicles that imply that they can afford to pay the $500 penalty IF they get caught and IF it is enforced.

And whereas I definitely don't consider preganacy a handicap, I do think that pregancy ("Stork") spots are a new and good idea. We have some here, and the idea is that extremely pregnant women can park closer. I REALLY think about giving the stink eye to young apparently able-bodied men who park in those spots, because I don't think any men (outside of a few fictional films and books and extremely speculative scientific hypothetical situations) have actually succeeded in getting *themselves* pregnant yet.

I think this should have gone under Peeves.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

For Pete's sake. I DO know how to spell "pregnancy", not that you'd know it from looking at my prior post. I hate typos.

Re: large SUVs...it may or may not be relevant that most accidents I see pulled over to the side of the road involve one or more SUVs. And the turkey who ran into me doing 45mph in a parking lot (I had just parked and was shutting off my car's engine) was driving an SUV as well. I think they are less safe than smaller vehicles. If you have a lot of kids (i.e., more than two), if your child participates in activities that involve you picking up 30 other children for Brownies or Cubs or soccer or playcamp multiple times a week, or if you carry a lot of bulky equipment like lumber or art supplies, then they make sense. It makes a lot less sense to buy one if you're single or childless. IMHO. Considering the amount of gasoline they require, they also aren't very economical or environmentally friendly unless they are toting a lot of people/stuff.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

I own a 4Runner, and when I'm on the highway little cars cut in front of me all the time, making me have to slam my breaks or swerve into another lane. I think it is wrong to think that SUV drivers are bad drivers. There are bad drivers in all different size cars. It all depends on how you drive your vehicle.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Yeah, I hear the gas/environment complaint brought up all the time. Do SUVs use more gas than vans or trucks, though? I wouldn't have thought they did, but SUV-haters act like they must. Maybe I'm making assumptions. Someone who knows, tell me if they use more gas and if so, why.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Didn't say SUV owners were bad drivers. Said that they were frequently involved in accidents. Unsafe isn't implying that the driver sucks. I have a friend who drives a vintage hearse and she has people dart in front of her too--they just don't think about the amount of time it takes for a heavy vehicle to stop, especially when it's been raining. Whereas I've seen a lot of SUV drivers acting reckless on the highways, you are correct in pointing out that it is often stupid people darting in front of larger vehicles that cause problems, and then the larger vehicle gets popped with a "following too closely" citation if there's a rear-ending incident. Suck. It's sort of like how everyone bitches about speeders, but it's the Beetlebomb placidly doing 35mph in the fast lane that causes more frustration and thus probably more problems in the long run.

An 8- cylinder sports car no doubt uses even MORE gasoline than an SUV, come to think of it. I am repeating information about gasoline hoggage that I have heard multiple times but I definitely haven't researched it myself to be honest. So until I look it up, I take that particular comment back. Generally speaking, though, I've always been told that the larger / heavier / more powerful the vehicle, the more fuel it requires--it needs more energy/power to get going, thus it eats more gas. Perhaps that is not true.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

I have a lot to say on this topic but long posts are very obnoxious so I will keep it short. Sorry, couldn't keep it short.

Milla: AAA states that 67% of vehicles purchased in the last 6 years are SUVs so maybe that's why you are seeing more SUVs involved in accidents. Hey, if you throw 1000 animals out of an airplane over San Diego and 67% are aardvarkes (sp?), there will be a lot of dead aardvarkes in San Diego. Get the picture??

SUVs generally have bigger engines so they do use more gas than cars with smaller engines. They need bigger engines because they are bigger vehicles. They don't use more gas than small cars with big engines which people get to compensate for a small penis or some other deficiency.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

That's what I'm saying. Bigger vehicles use more gas, right? My van's much bigger than a SUV and so it probably uses more gas per mile, right? But people don't hassle me for driving a van the way they hassle my friends for driving SUVs. I don't get it.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

I think it's because people see a van and think well, that's useful if you need to move stuff or drive a lot of people somewhere. If you live somewhere mountainous, no one gives you crap about driving an SUV because they're practical. When my family lived in California for a year, long before the SUV trend, people snickered at our Suburban until they saw all (pausing to count how many kids we had then) seven of us pile out- we just didn't fit comfortably in any other kind of car.

It's the people who just have SUVs as status symbols ruining them for everyone else.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

To me, SUVs have always been a sign of Personal Apocalypse, right up there with tract homes, daytime TV, Danielle Steele paperbacks and mass quatities of frozen foods (have I hit every Potetially Offensive Point I could?). Besides the fact that the *are* gas guzzlers, it's always seemed silly & a waste of space to me for one or two people to be driving around in a big, honkin' vehicle the size of the Starship Enterprize... just to get a dozen bags of groceries. Unless you're routinely hauling large loads and/or offroadin', what suburb-livin' folk really need an SUV?

But, um, well, The Husband-Type Man and I, what with just moving and all, had to, um, get a rental car. And, well, we had all this stuff to move and antiques to pick up and, well, um... guess who's driving around in an SUV this week? And worse? I...uh... kinda like it. I'm so ashamed.....

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Of COURSE you liked it! It was big and roomy and you could look over the cars in front of you. What's not to like. Status - symbol, Schmatus - symbol.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

My ex (the male counterpart to The Enemy Of Fun) used to own a Chevy Suburban. It got *maybe* 5 miles per gallon. (Okay, so I am exaggerating its inefficiency. But it did have to be refueled constantly...sometimes multiple times a day if there was a lot of haulin' hither-n-yon of amps and gear and whatnot going on.) He did get all kinds of crap for owning it, as it had its own personal zipcode, one-party political system and indigenous mutant flora, but admittedly the amount of ribbing he endured was not anywhere near the amount that SUV owners seem to get these days.

Duly noted.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Erika, that and it's got an excellent stereo system in it, so I'm motorin' down the LA freeways blasting (depending on mood) Duran's Pop Trash or my Teen Pop Collection. Nothin' quite like barrelling around the 101 in the vehicular equivalent of the Millenium Falcon with "Larger Than Life" cranked....

But when THTM said "I can see where owning one of these would be good- " well, that's where I had to put my foot down. The only thing worse we could do would be vote Republican....

Boy, I'm full of Offensiveness and Opinionation today, huh? ;)

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

I hate SUV's. I'm sick and tired of not being able to see around anything. And I hate minivans, for the same reason, and because it seems to me people lose IQ points upon buying a minivan. In fact, I'm writing a book of haiku poetry called "Damn The Minivan!" which is going to be the first line of every haiku.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Joanne--re: your haiku ideas...PLEASE do! Sounds hilarious (whether or not you own a van). I'll buy a copy! :) Will it be all your own work or will you take contributions?

Damn the Minivan!
I see you have a TV on.
The light is now green.

Damn the Minivan!
I cannot find my Geo pet.
It blocks the sun, too.

Damn the Minivan!
I followed it to BFE
Because its heiney is huge.

Damn the Minivan!
Its immensity taunts us.
(I wish I had one.)

Damn the Minivan!
Forget angels on pin-heads.
How many kids will fit?

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

There are two things that have been wrong/bad about SUVs, but they are starting to change.
1) Many states have allowed them to be exempt from any emissions standards (if those states even have emissions standards). This is beginning to change - I'm pretty sure the demise of such exemption is imminent here in Colorado.
2) Many SUVs have such high ground clearance and angles-of-attack in the front that they easily run up over the top of smaller vehicles in collisions. This is also beginning to change, as I think the Feds have started pressuring car makers to redesign.

Oh, and I don't know that IQ points are leaked when someone buys a minivan, but I know that feet turn to lead. I wish I had a dime for every time I've been passed by a minivan-driving mommy doing 15 mph over the limit with a load of children. Children, for pete's sake, with whom a mother would presumably want to be more careful.

BTW, Colorado has the highest per-capita SUV rate in the nation, and boy is it obvious to those of us who live here. :-(

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Oh, Milla! Oh! Oh! Oh!

*howling helplessly*

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Paul W, I say "If the daddies can speed, the mommies can, too."

Just kidding. I don't really say that.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Gwen, I thought you always said "If the daddies can *do* speed, so can the mommies" ?

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Weren't you two always saying that the daddies were too speedy and needed to slow down and take of the momm... Oh sorry. I thought this was my 'other' board.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Milla, "He did get all kinds of crap for owning it, as it had its own personal zipcode, one-party political system and indigenous mutant flora, " BWAAAAAAA! Hey, I just got a minivan! I love it. It gets good gas mileage but doesn't hold 40-50 like Gwen's van. The dealer gave me that little minivan IQ test before I bought it. Yesterday, I got the "Early Warning IQ Reduction Test" from the drugstore and I only dropped 32 points! I'm so happy! wait.......what was I happy about again?

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Gwen, I hope you don't think I was deliberately singling out mommies! Of course daddies speed, too, sometimes even with the kids in the car. But what I've personally witnessed around here are kid-ferrying speeding mini-van-mommies, by a huge majority.

There's a vast soccer field complex east of here. Sometimes I'll be driving by it early on Saturday mornings. The line of minivans and SUVs in the parking lot is like Colorado's own Chinese Wall, visible from space and everything. :-)

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

No, Paul W. I know you wouldn't do that. And I know that the people in this topic who seem to be singling people out are just exaggerating for comic effect and not because they really have petty prejudices.

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

Milla:

I promise to *dedicate* my book to you - those are fabulous. And really, I am just kidding, I *don't* think people's IQ's actually go down. Well, I mostly don't. :)

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

once me and my freind were driving in her duelly and she had xtra big tires on it and we saw some girl giving some guy a bj whlie he was drivign! we laughed so hard!!!

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

Floosie, I would have waved if I knew that was you.

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

FLOSSIE! My gawd, girl! Don't you know that's what cowboy hats are FOR?!

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

That last remark was actually aimed at kdrock. *sorry* Fix it Gwen, please.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

Ha! Bubba called Floosie 'Flossie' and we're talking about oral... Oh no! This board rules!

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

kdrock - you rule!

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

Oh, Suki!!! ***blushes***

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

True Story: You may have gathered from previous posts that I Do Dog Stuff. It behooves you to drive at least a minivan if you do Serious Dog Stuff (you learn this the first time you attempt to stuff a size 200 VariKennel into a Toyota Corolla), so my circle of friends drive Jeep Cherokees up to Big Honkin RVs to the various events.

At an agility trial this March, the wind was so strong it was blowing even big dogs off the agility equipment (a dog walk is about 4 feet off the ground, the apex of the A-Frame was 5'8"). The judge called a halt, and we all drove our vehicles to form a windbreak around the ring. Smaller vehicles made the inner layer, surrounded by full- sized vans, and RVs as the front line. It worked!

So, sometimes big cars are a good idea ......

-- Anonymous, September 15, 2000

Well, I would have to agree with you, but how often could a situation like that arise? :)

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

you guyz are so funny! bobba you sound cute!

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2000