reunions

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I went with my wife to her 30th year high school reunion in August of this year. As I was standing around I heard all the catty questions and responses from my wifes bitch session with her old classmates about the cheerleaders and their escorts. For those of you old enough to have attended one of these events, what was it like? Did you stand around sniping at the girls/guys who did you wrong or at the cheerleader who was sooooo stuck up but is now fat with 4 kids and been "D'ed" for the 2nd time? What was your reunion like? James

-- Anonymous, September 11, 2000

Answers

does a 10-year high school reunion count? If not, you'll have to wait 4 years til my 20th (dear GOD that's scary).
My 10-yr shindig was a blast, but for specific reasons. 1: the first person I saw was a guy I'd been in Kindergarten with. 2: out of our 300-person-strong graduating class, there were 14 of us at the reunion who'd gone all the way through elementary, jr high, and high school together, and we took a group picture. 3: from grades K-4, my mom came into my classes weekly to play guitar and sing folksy songs with us, and since she is an awesome person, everyone liked her and everyone remembered her. [In fact, the two comments I got right off the bat from EVERYONE who went to my elem school were A) "You dyed your hair red! and B) How's your mom?!] I had the bright idea of calling Mom from a payphone just outside our party room so three boys could sing "High Barbary" to her...she *loved* it, THEY loved it, and the line for the phone grew, as word spread that "Mrs Wright" was on the phone. It was totally rewarding for my mom, and a cool feeling for me as well, knowing that THAT many kids liked and cared about my mom. 4: (this one may offend some of you reading) At the time of the reunion, I was somewhat of a speed addict, and I was enjoying the (few) plusses of doing speed-- I was slim, I felt attractive, and my chemically-boosted confidence made me the belle of the ball, so to speak (someone did actually say that about me, amazingly). I was chatting happily and effervescently with everyone, having a wonderful, giddy time, and while everyone else drank and became progressively slower and tireder as the night went on, I bounced around like a little energy ball, and it seemed like everyone was gravitating toward that energy. So, when my best-friend-since-5th-grade, S, meandered by later that night and found me literally the center of attention at a table full of all the boys who'd been so popular in high school (and who'd NEVER given me the time of day even once, back then), it was a pretty incredible feeling, I liked it. (4A: I was so NOT in the popular crowd back in high school, that it was a serious ego boost/high-five to myself to be such the social butterfly, ten years later-- especially when so many of our class had aged and were looking like total grownups. :)) ) Finally, 5: I made a point of going up to every single boy I'd ever had a crush on (and trust me, not one of those crushes ever resulted in anything except a bruised heart) and fessing up, that I'd had such a crush on him way back when, blah blah blah unrequited lovecakes...and it was really nice, because all of those boys professed being flattered, and that was a way cool feeling.

I am totally looking fwd to my 20th, because no one believes I'm almost 34 now, and I figure I won't be acting much like a 37-and-two-thirds-year-old in 2004, either. And fwiw, I'll be attending this one sans speed. (Dwannie, you can relax. ;) )

-- Anonymous, September 12, 2000


I went to my 10th highschool reunion last year. I'm still close with all my good friends from highschool and we talk all the time, even with some of us not living in the same town so we all went together. What was freaky was seeing all these kids running around (some of them being 9 or 10...hello, 10 year reunion???),knowing exactly who their parents were, and damning the gods that let them procreate. Generation 2 of Complete Asshole Popular Guy: Gah! I'm not married and that was another thing. Everyone brought spouses and kids to the "Family Picnic." I brought my dog. I think 10 years is probably still too soon to see some people. Even with all the time that's passed, I still had some automatic flinches upon seeing certain folks. That, and I coulda done without the local band's version of "Wild Thang" and "Rumpshaker."

-- Anonymous, September 12, 2000

I skipped mine without regret, but then again, I've stayed in touch with everyone I wanted to stay in touch with.

As far as my experience in high school itself, my father had died suddenly, unexpectedly, etc., right before I went into 9th grade, so there really was no trauma worse than that nor any petty bitchery that any high schooler could dish out that would make much of an impression after that. So my high scool years weren't so bad. I had a diverse group of friends and kept a deliberately low profile and was content. All the same, I don't generally get too nostalgic about anything. I know I'm unusual in that I can't imagine caring much about whether or not someone I didn't pal around with has apparently succeeded or failed in life--only the welfare of my friends would concern me. There were unpleasant people in HS just like everywhere else in life, and it's not worth stewing over or thinking intently about. Sure, I can picture some of them being their at-that-time nasty selves in my mind, but despite having a small graduating class (under 75), and despite going to the same school with most of them since we were both 5 years old, I can't name most of them now.

I suppose I look forward to my 20th. I'm healthy, happy, fit, etc. I won't be devastated if something comes up to prevent me from attending. During the weekend that the 10th was held, I was travelling and I didn't miss it a bit.

-- Anonymous, September 12, 2000


Bwa, Kel! :)

There isn't enough money -- heck, personal interest -- in the world to get me to a reunion. I went to a small Christian high school in San Diego. A year and a half ago, I got an invitation to my 10th. Somehow someone had found an old aol address of mine and had included it in the Alumni Information (although they had everything else wrong), so I got a small spate of e-mails from a few classmates and a link to the Alumni Info page. It was freakin' scary... I was one of only THREE women in my school's history who had gone to grad school, and one of the few women who was something other than 1) an RN, 2) a preschool teacher or 3) a stay-at-home mom. [I know, I'm far too critical, but still... that 97% of our female alums never looked beyond traditional women's roles is... IMHO... disturbing]. Most had married (many to either fellow classmates or navy men... San Diego, remember?) within the first 2 years of high school graduation. The e- mails I got were all totally focused on "So, are you married? Do you have kids?" not "what've you been doing?" or "where did you go to college?" (I have nothing against marriage or kids, but as the sum of one's life? Who one is?) I e-mailed back one classmate asking for details of her move to Northern CA and her job, and received a too- detailed description of her labor and the birth of her new baby. Everyone asked me what my husband did... no one asked what *I* did!

I went to a few Homecomings in the first few years after I graduated. I'd been (no, I'm not making this up) cheerleading captain (don't be impressed, only 12 people tried out), ASB treasurer, and one-half of "Cutest Couple" and I thought all that was Important or Meaningful when I was 18. At the first post-Grad Homecoming, all I got was "How's DumbAss? Are you two married yet? When are you getting married?" At my second Homecoming, I brought a guy friend who'd gone to our HS for 9th grade, then transfered to public high school. 9 out of 10 people called him DumbAss (despite the fact that they looked nothing alike. Pretty revealing, no?). When I said "That's not DumbAss, that's OldFriend," everyone would gasp "You and DumbAss haven't broken up have you?!?" before segueing into "How's DumbAss? Are you two married yet? When are you getting married?"

I wrote off high school after that. Bitter much? :)

-- Anonymous, September 12, 2000


It is nice to have shared experiences, like Klee, I wasn't part of the popular bunch in high school, but I was involved in a lot of school activities (and extracurricular ones that greatly disturbed my parents). When I went back for my 10 year reunion, I was single without a kid and in really good shape. They said I was "most improved". Life had put us all on a level playing field. I felt badly for one of my friends. She had been a really sweet person and a beautiful cheerleader and when I saw her I said I loved her highlighted hair. She said that I had always been nice but it wasn't highlighted, it was grey. She had brought her little sister and some people even though her sister was her and she was her mom. I missed my 20th reunion and I guess we didn't have a 25th one this summer. I had a good time and also got to tell everyone that I had had a crush on about it.

-- Anonymous, September 12, 2000


Milla, you're not so unusual. Or every reunion would be packed with sincerely happy people.

I think my high school class had a 10 year reunion, but I never received an official invite even though I'm easy to find. I didn't attend, if they did have one. You know, it wouldn't surprise me if they didn't have one, because my class was notoriously apathetic (at least until we were seniors, but then we were only stirred up because we were soon to be free).

I'm hoping we do a 20-year thing, because it will give me an excuse to go back. I have not kept in touch with anyone from my graduating class, and there were 476 of us. I stayed in touch with one friend until about 1992, but otherwise nothing.

Dwanollah, sounds like 'Stepford Wives' after high school there! OooOooh!

-- Anonymous, September 12, 2000


I didn't want to be there in the first place, why would I go back? I was the one everyone made fun of and ignored. I have no desire to waste my time with any of those losers (not that I even remember anyone from high school anyway). And the very few I cared about went to Viet Nam and became different people or dead.

-- Anonymous, September 12, 2000

Oh, Oma. :( My friend Lake must be about your age, she has wept with me more than once about her classmates and how they were affected by Viet-Nam. I can't imagine the horror, truly I can't. *hug*

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Thanks Milla, and to James for his nice note (hope I don't ruin your reputation here, James). The 60s were a sucky time.

-- Anonymous, September 13, 2000

Oh, Oma...you hit me where it hurts, hon. I couln't WAIT to get out of school. I joined the service and went to 'Nam and it was scary as shit, but they had some righteous smoke and I got laid a lot, which is really, really important when you're eighteen. But I came home and I was goofy as shit for a while and anti-social but I went to college and met a nice person I'm still married to. I started believing that hey! it wasn't so bad. But the other night I was in the car by myself listening to an oldie station and someone sent in a request for "all those people who spent their graduation party in the Republic of South Vietnam...you know who you are...from Nancy at MedEvac4" And then they played "What Becomes of the Brokenherted?" I felt like someone grabbed my heart and squeezed it in their fist. I got tears in my eyes. Bummer. I hope you're okay.

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000


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