Or do people just think you are?

-- Anonymous, September 09, 2000

Answers

no

-- Anonymous, September 09, 2000

I have had a problem in the past with taking on responsibility for ANYTHING that might be important to other people. This has included choosing music to listen to, picking a restaurant, deciding where to go, what to do....I'm working on flexing the decision making process though. I'm seeing someone from out of town now and I'm having to do all these things when she comes down (and in a town where there's not much to choose from). It's interesting. But obviously, no, I'm not bossy.

-- Anonymous, September 09, 2000

"but I usually only try to boss people who want to be bossed."

i'm going to print that out and carry it in my wallet. whenever i get depressed, i'll take it out and laugh maniacally.

-- Anonymous, September 09, 2000

I could have written those exact same things about myself. "The indecision and waffling of the group mentality" drives me nuts, too. It always seems like people lose a few IQ points when they're trying to agree on something trivial, like where to go for dinner.

I am frightfully bossy, but most people are sheep, and they secretly appreciate my efforts to herd them.

-- Anonymous, September 09, 2000

well... i'm an oldest child, so i grew up used to giving orders (whether or not anyone paid attention was irrelevant; i still gave commands)... And the jobs I'vehad put me in the position of having at least some nominal authority (over students, over people at the bookstore)... And I'm very, very set in my ways. So--yes: I do seem bossy-- when I don't seem utterly indifferent.

-- Anonymous, September 09, 2000

As a man I've never been called 'bossy'. There could've been a couple of men severely in touch with their feminine side (if u catch my drift), that may have used that word describing me, but more often than not it's the other 'B word' that I hear thrown around.

Is there really a difference between bitchy and bossy? They both usually result in the described getting their way and they both start with the letter B, there's gotta be some connection.

I've always said that I like my women a lil' on the bitchy side and I'm guessing that what I actually mean is pouty, girly and a bit immature. Either way I 'spose Freud would say it's tied to my (substitue a man's) love for his mommmy.

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2000

I don't think being bossy has anything to do with your gender, and it certainly isn't anything like being bitchy. "Bitchiness," to me, suggests irritability and an irrational sense of dissatisfaction with everything in one's environment. "Bossiness," on the other hand, is the desire to control one's environment. People who are bitchy usually make no such efforts, as they know that in their bitchy state, they will be dissatisfied no matter what the reality of their situation is. They will whine about their problems instead of attempting to solve them, as we bossy folks do.

I may be "bossy," but in making decisions, I always try to take into account the best interests of everyone involved.

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2000

Oh how I love the way you rationally dissect me big boss lady :)

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2000

To check my attitude toward bossy people, especially the one I work with, go to http://www.kcnet.com/~marc/8sep2000.html and drag your mouse over the white space at the bottom of the journal entry (the font color is white, so you have to highlight it to see it). Bossy people should be put on an island so the rest of us don't have to put up with them. With any luck, they'd all kill each other and the gene pool would be free of this contamination.

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2000

I'm a bitch but I'm not bossy...

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2000

... so... you busy next Friday night Megan?

-- Anonymous, September 10, 2000

No, I'm way to introverted to be bossy. I do enjoy a spirited argument, but that's not the same as being bossy.

-- Anonymous, September 11, 2000

In a group situation, if no-one steps up to the plate to take charge, I will do it.

If someone else does it first, I acquiesce, and then kill them before the next meeting.

-- Anonymous, September 14, 2000

It's true that I'm bossy, but only because I know best. In elementary school those "group projects" drove me crazy because no one had any ideas and things usually devolved to the lowest common denominator. Then I would be forced to take things in control and start telling everyone what to do. My fellow classmates always seemed to appreciate direction, however, and soon our group was efficiently and happily working away while the other groups continued their "committee processes" and floundering.

Like Jen I try to take into account the desires, motivations and well-being of everyone I boss around and find my little subjects are healthy and happy. (all of which I'm sure my brother Phil will confirm) .....................................................................

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

O what a gift, the gift to give us, to see ourselves as others seive...uh, see us. Well it rhymes in the original. Ms Jennifer's story reminds me of my friend Tom who, when explaining to me why he divorced his wife, said he had hated that he always had to be the one putting energy into things. He said he was always the one who made things happen, who brought new experiences and variety to their lives. I had a sinking feeling, thinking back to all the times I had been in the middle of a pleasant conversation with his wife and our other friends, and Tom barged in and insisted that we immediately get up and go out and do something. Something that he had chosen for us to do. In short, he was being a jerk, and we tolerated it because most of the time we liked him. I didn't have the heart to tell him that what he considered to be "enlivening", everyone else considered immature and selfish. We hated it, but our manners were better than his. I wonder if Ms Jennifer's dinner companions felt the same. Incidentally, by her own definition, Ms Jennifer his both bossy and a bitch. Judging by what she writes here, her irritability is boundless.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

I guess we just have different ideas about etiquette, Rob. I don't think it's rude to suggest activities for a group, nor do I think it rude to decline to participate in activities others suggest if you don't want to participate.

I do, however, think it's rude to publicly criticize your friends behind their backs. Why not be honest with your friend Tom instead of complaining about him here? I think you'd both be happier.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

Nope. No, I think he's right Ms. Jennifer. The subtle way you told him to kiss your ass was definitely on the bitchy side. Gettin' a lil' more fiesty and rude in our old age are we? ooooo lah lah Ms. Jennifer, are you still sure you don't want to have a torrid email sex affair?

-- Anonymous, October 08, 2000

Jennifer, you're an oldest child, aren't you?

I'm oldest of three. I had ~13 years of having two relatively imbecilic beings at my beck and call, beholden to me by simple fact of my birth order. So yes, I'm bossy, and so are you :-)

-marc siry

-- Anonymous, October 10, 2000