I would appreciate some tips from those of you in military families, or with children in the military.

Ryan is at his new duty station in TX (Ft. Bliss), 'til March. What type of care packages can we send him - what would be most appreciated? Cookies? Phone cards? Fast food gift certificates? Toiletries? How long does it usually take for packages to get to the kids? Any special way we should send them (from IL to TX)? Any packing tips?

How do we keep up on things that might affect our kids? When we were at Ft. Sill for his graduation, the local newspaper (Lawton) had a lot of military articles in it. Is there a military newspaper we can subscribe to, to kind of keep up? Would a recruiter be able to get information for me about things like this?

Unless others on the forum indicate interest, it might be better to save the forum some bandwidth by e-mailing me direct - I sure will appreciate any info that comes my way! Many thanks....

-- Polly (tigger@moultrie.com), September 06, 2000

Answers

You are not the only one with these questions. What branch of service? Rank/rate? Specialty? Basic answer - any contact with home is great, and even more so in a combat or isolation assignment. Don't forget he has buddies, and you are not his only lifeline. And as a parent, you have 2 obligations: Roots and Wings. The wings are much more difficult. I suspect you are more worried than he! GL!

-- Brad (Homefixer@SacoRiver.net), September 06, 2000.

I was only 11 when my brother left for the service. More broken hearted 3 little sisters, you have never seen. It was during the Vietnam conflict, and by the Grace of God-he was never stationed there, but he was half a world away! All he wanted, was to 'know' what was going on at home, even if the news was months late. I don't think times have changed that much. Home is Home. Family is Family. He needs: Cookie crumbs. Wrinkled art work. Photo's. A subscription to the local paper. A plane/bus ticket home. He needs to go, to grow, and know you'll be there, when he returns. Good luck, with your Good Kid!

-- Kathy (catfish@bestweb.net), September 06, 2000.

I just finished an 8 year stint in the Air Force. My job had me stationed with the Army for the whole time. I've been stationed at Ft Hood, TX for 2 years and been lucky neought to only have flown over Ft Bliss (I don't care much for TX at all).

From my experience with the Army, the best thing you could send your son is the stuff you mentioned. Treats from home go over very well. You son probably doesn't have much room for "stuff" as he's junior enlisted (small room and 1-5 roomates). I'd get him small things like treats and phone cards. They don't get paid very much (it'll get better), but his needs shouldn't be much either. It's not uncommon for the soldiers to be broke well before their next paycheck. Not to worry since he'll most likely be fed at a mess hall and have some good NCO's looking out for him. A gift certificate for fast food would be well recieved for those times he's out of cash and sick of the chow hall.

If memory serves me correctly, the Post Commander has lowered the drinking age on post to 18 in an effort to keep otherwise under-aged soldiers from crossing the border and getting into trouble. Some items related to his previous hobbies might help out a bit.....hope some of this helps.

-- Chris Stogdill (cstogdill@rmci.net), September 07, 2000.

I spent 21 years in military but it seems like a long time ago. If your GI is living in the barracks with the other guys, it is neat to sent some cookies, cake and stuff like that and enough to share. If they are married and have government quarters or are living in a house "off post", they probably would really appreciate some hard cash (money). Usually, they can buy stuff at the PX and commissary cheaper than you can buy it for them. Then you would have the expense of shipping it to them. Hope this is good advise. Eagle

-- eagle (eagle@alpha1.net), September 07, 2000.

Polly, I had the impression Ryan was to you more in the nature of a boyfriend-in-law - sister's man. Yes/No? Anyway, the advice is good, if he comes from your area. He has his buddies - he won't lack for company altogether. What you want to do is keep him connected with home, and a regular local paper is a good idea. Probably have Sis include a letter in it, and post it to him (she may even get a special newspaper postage rate if she doesn't mention the letter to them). This reminds him of home, and of who cares for him there. Weather, and school sports, and births, deaths and marriages all become incredibly important - and without them you begin to drift and lose touch with home and the people from there - including yourself.

This is one of the most effective communication devices I've seen for anyone, anywhere. My aunt (funeral today) used to do this for her baby sister - my Mum, who was the only one of the family to move FAR away from home. Everyone enjoyed the letters and the newspaper.

-- Don Armstrong (darmst@yahoo.com.au), September 07, 2000.

Ryan is my daughter's (aka Sis or Jessie!) boyfriend. All kids who spend time at my house belong to me!! He calls me Mom, so that's good enough! One of his buddys at graduation asked if I would adopt him (no mother in the picture), so I guess I'll be baking cookies for two - at least. Ryan doesn't drink or smoke; his hobbies are soccer, basketball, computers and Jessie - not necassarily in that order!! His family lives 60+ miles from us and they have 3 other childen at home, one in college. I can probably do a little more financially in the way of phone cards, etc... to help them out. I am very proud of him for volunteering to serve - I tell him so in every phone call and letter, but I want to send him something(s) to keep him comfortable and let him know we miss him and care about him. It seems little enough for what he's doing for us. So we'll bake the cookies this weekend, and tuck in a phone card, gift certificates and a little cash - or should I send things seperatly and more often? We'll also send the photos we took of him and Sis at graduation, and some of the farm, along with a long letter. Thanks, everyone - for all the answers; it's hard to know what to do in a new situation! Any other ideas gratefully appreciated!

-- Polly (tigger@moultrie.com), September 07, 2000.

I was Navy for 15 years, and even though I was a "real" adult, most of the others weren't. Packages with lots of little "nothing" stuff in them are really great. Most of the answers were perfect--news from home of any kind, including terrible pictures, junk food that is regional, etc. Packing breakables, including food, in popcorn works well. (If you bag the popcorn, he can eat that, too.) If this is his first time really away from home, he will be lonely, even if he'd never admit it, so the more frequent (but irregular--not the same day every week or month) the better. You'd be amazed at the kids who would love to come to our family's house on Thanksgiving and do nothing more than eat and sleep in front of the TV, (just like home?) even the ones who didn't live on base.

-- Teresa (otgonz@bellsouth.net), September 07, 2000.

Hi Polly,

Glad to see that you are home safe and sound!

This is long and I would have e-mailed you direct but someone else on here has a son who just joined up and there may be others. Maybe it will be of some interest to them too.

Think you said that Ryan was in AIT now. If it's anything like my AIT a few years ago (also in Texas, at Ft. Sam) they will probably be kept on post in army uniform for a couple of weeks. Things get better as time goes on -if everyone is behaving themselves. If someone screws up (and there's always one!) then the whole platoon is usually locked down and privilages taken away. I was 32 when I joined the army and used to taking care of myself so care pakages weren't all that important to me. But for a young kid all the above suggestions are great especially the phone cards.

During training they really make sure that soldiers are fed well and on time. He's probably marched to the chow hall and back three times a day. So don't worry about that aspect. I'm sure the home made goodies will go down well though!

You could send him some stamps if he writes a lot. Just in case he can't get to the PX or postoffice. You could even put together some pre-addressed and stamped envelopes so all he has to do is scribble a note and drop it in a box. If he's infantry they will probably be out in the field a lot getting very little sleep and he'll be too wore out to write much.

He sounds like a real nice kid. Keep telling him how proud you are of him! Keep his spirits up. Believe me, not all of them are there because they want to "be all they can be" As someone said on another thread a lot of kids are there just to get that college fund and their mentality is "do the very least to scrape by" They get paid no matter how little they work! ( and some work harder at avoiding work than they would if they just buckled down and got to it!!) It makes life difficult for those who are serious about the military. Avoid them! It's easy to get sucked in to that way of thinking when you're feeling miserable and getting yelled at from morning till night.

Once those in charge lighten up on the BS he'll probably have some down time in the evenings and on weekends. He might come in for some ribbing because he doesn't drink and smoke. To aviod those types tell him the best places to spend his free time are the ed center, the library and the gym. The gyms on military bases are the best! ( better than many of those fitness clubs people spend $400 to join) My advice would be to start pumping iron and get his body built up. (and Sis will be thrilled to death when she sees "Arnold" getting off the plane!) If he can score 300 on his PT test the NCOs in charge will really have their eye on him and treat him with a lot of respect. ( buy him a subscription to Muscle Media or one of the other body building mags)

The other thing they're big on is further education. Tell him to ask his NCO about army correspondence courses. He won't have time to take any untill after AIT but they are essential for getting promoted to Sgt. (E5).It may sound too soon to be thinking about that at this point but I can't stress it enough. You can work your butt off, never get into trouble, be the perfect soldier but to make Sgt. you have to have a certain number of "points" You score points by completing these courses as well as civillian college courses. Maxing the PT test gives you so many points, participating in "Soldier of the month" question boards scores more points.... it's not a fair system because some MOSs require hundreds more points than others to qualify for promotion. It's nonsensicle in my opinion but that doesn't change things:) tell him to do all he can to get ahead. Don't wait till he's a Spc. to start. He'll see they really prick up their ears if he askes about this stuff. It tells them that this is a serious soldier. They'll go out of their way to help him.

Oh, you asked about newspapers. Most posts have their own free community paper. Ryan can probably pick them up for you. There's usually a dispenser outside the PX or chow hall. You can also subscribe to the Army Times newspaper.

Hope this helps. Sorry it was so long. I'm sure my hubby could come up with more advice but he's out in the field digging fox holes and setting up fighting positions as I write!! If Ryan has any aspirations to go airbourne hubby would be happy to answer any questions he might have in that regard.

I never had the time to answer Ken's post about the advantages of military service. Many people put it down but I believe in it and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Even the 4 months of getting shot at in Somalia! My own country's recruiter (British) laughed when I wanted to join there. Said I was too old and would never make it through basic. Came back here and started lifting weights and running. Was in way better shape than most of the 19 year olds when the gulf war started and I joined the US army. I believe having some maturity and life experience under your belt is a great advantage. Definitely couldn't have handled it at 19!

Pauline in NC

-- Pauline (tworoosters_farm@altavista.com), September 07, 2000.

In addition to the above suggestions:

Local newspapers - relatives would send me the hometown paper while I was in the Army, it helps keep you in touch.

For updates on things military, especially Army, check out the Army's professional association, the Association of the U.S. Army, or AUSA, at www.ausa.org. You can also check out military.com for info and links to other sites of military interest. I used to subscribe to Army Times, a weekly magazine/paper, but let my subscription lapse, Ryan can get a copy at any PX and mail you a subscription card.

Regards,

Bob

-- Robert (STBARB@usa.net), September 09, 2000.

HI, MOST OF THE ITEMS MENTIONED BY EVERYONE ELSE ARE WHAT HE NEEDS. MY SON JUST WANTED LETTERS FROM HOME. HE WANTED TO KEEP TOUCH WITH THE FAMILY AND NEWS. THEY CAN ALWAYS USE MONEY. ALSO JUST HEARING A VOICE FROM HOME HELPS. PHONE CARDS ARE GREAT. WISH WE HAD THEM AT THAT TIME.DON'T FORGET HOMEMADE COOKIES ARE GREAT. I COULDN'T WAIT FOR MY SONS TO JOIN THE MILITARY. I LOVE TO BAKE. WELL GOOD LUCK.

PRISCILLA WIFE OF US ARMY SOLIDER AND USNAVY RETIRED. I'M PROUD OF IT

-- MRS PRISCILLA WILLIAMS (GP83196@AOL.COM), September 12, 2000.

Polly, history has it, back to 1962, they had enough substantial food. I read the menus, food is good, somewhat. I think what they need is letters, cards, and an occasional taste of home cooking. They are not starving, now days, far from it. Photos are great too! Occasional phone call doesn't hurt.

-- For those (whoarelow@spirit.com), September 13, 2000.