Here's an incredibly immature question for y'all. What would you do if you could freeze time and everyone for 24 hours? And you'd be the only one who could move and stuff?

Here are the bare technicalities because I know someone will ask: everyone's still alive, they're just unconscious and stalled in whatever position they were in when you stopped time. Electricity and running water and stuff still work, but let's just say for convenience's sake that all the water and gas turns off until you turn it back on.

Oh, fuck. I knew that would get complicated. Okay, just forget that and tell me what you'd do during your 24 hours as the only conscious person on Earth.

-- Anonymous, September 05, 2000

Answers

I would definitely go get stuff that didn't belong to me, like from the mall. But not expensive stuff like diamonds or anything. Just petty stuff. Isn't that terrible?

There's worse stuff I'd do, but I think I'm gonna wait and see how degenerate this discussion gets before I put all my cards on the table. I think I'd spend most of my day at the mall, though. Unless one of y'all has a better idea, I mean.

-- Anonymous, September 05, 2000

I would go everywhere unclothed.

Naturism has never appealed, but for soem reason, if no-one else was conscious, I think being naked in 'public' places would be the only thing worth doing with the opportunity.

-- Anonymous, September 05, 2000

1. "Collect stuff that isn't mine." :-) I like how that sounds.

2. Arrange people I don't like in embarrassing positions, and otherwise deliberately mess with people's minds. Hey, you only get this one 24 hour period, right, so make it count.

-- Anonymous, September 05, 2000

I think I would like to somehow rig it so we won a million dollars or something, like if I could choose the exact moment when to freeze everyone then go to the place where they were, say, picking the lottery number, and then conveniently make sure the one I have (I'll just go to the local convenience store and get one)is the one that's picked. I don't know how I would do that, of course, since it's probably all done by computer. Can I take my computer programmer husband with me? Actually, this is more complicated than I thought it would be.

At first I thought I'd just fool with the numbers in our bank account, but then I figured once everyone was back to normal, they'd figure out the error eventually and then we'd be screwed.

I guess I'd just like to figure out a way to set us up financially so we didn't *have* to work so damn hard just to make ends meet. :/

-- Anonymous, September 05, 2000

Ginny: well then just steal something expensive as hell and then sell it later. But that probably wouldn't work, huh? I don't know much about fencing hot goods, I'm afraid.

Paul W: yeah! Embarrassing positions! That's what I'm talking about!

Pale Blue: but would you take photos? I mean, would the thrill and then the memory alone be enough for you?

-- Anonymous, September 05, 2000

Hey, you know all that stuff people hide? That stuff ya never get to see because it's not yours? Mwahaahaa. What would I do? Snoop. Just snoop. See all the things you always wanted to see.

-- Anonymous, September 05, 2000

I would just steal, primarily to beef up my wardrobe and stock up on kitty litter. How lame is that?!

-- Anonymous, September 06, 2000

Count me in on the looting and snooping.

-- Anonymous, September 06, 2000

I imagine that I'd steal clothes and fabric. And other craft supplies. And barrettes and stuff.

-- Anonymous, September 06, 2000

I'd definitely be all about stealing things from people and jewelry stores so I could sell it on ebay or something. I'd also probably go to the local store that sells Doc Martens and get me a pair of each, and then loot the Sanrio store at the mall. Then I'd snoop through the rich people's houses to see what kind of snarky stuff they had.

After I was done satisfying my material desires, I believe I would go for payback. Everyone I dislike, and everyone who I've ever obsessed about getting revenge on, will be stripped of their clothes and dragged a good distance away from their house and any shelter (like the middle of the mall parking lot) and left there. I assume they'll wake up naked and horrified; thus condemning them to a lifetime of therapy.

And I'm not going to drag their asses to the same place, oh no. I don't want them to commiserate instead of being wildly embarassed and traumatized. If I'm feeling really special, I might drag their asses to the tattoo parlor and give them big ugly tattoos myself.

-- Anonymous, September 06, 2000

Gwen, did you just read "The Fermata" by Nicholson Baker? Sounds a lot like his premise. :) Or maybe "Tick Tock" by Dean Koontz...

I'd use the local stores as a lending library, I think. As long as I could find a way to replace everything. ("Hey, boss, check this out- -what a shoddy job of shrink-wrapping they're doing these days, huh?")

I read and listen to music voraciously and these things cost a lot of money. I'd love to be able to just dub stuff. I'd still buy a whole hell of a lot of things, though. (Then again, I guess that's what Napster is for and I don't use it...)

I'd also wander around a lot and look at people. I think it would be weird.

-- Anonymous, September 07, 2000

No. I got the idea from an old episode of the Twilight Zone.

-- Anonymous, September 11, 2000

Oh, I'd be looting. I'd loot an entire winter wardrobe. Or two. Or three. And I'd find a much, much bigger swank apartment, sneak into a realtors office, and forge a lease in my name for less rent. And move all my shit in. Although they'd probably figure that one out, wouldn't they? And then I'd do some more looting of furniture. Can I have another person unfrozen too, to help out?

-- Anonymous, September 11, 2000