I want to apologise for saying Y2J is Dennis Olson when he isn't.

I was upset when he caught me lying about no abortion access in Romania on those old threads.

As most of you have probably figured out, I am Citizen Ruth.

-- Access For All (mychoice@notyours.com), August 31, 2000

Answers

Access:

Nice touch. Although I have become a cynic with all of the false posts here.

Best wishes,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), August 31, 2000.

Nice try, fatboy. I'm not sorry one bit.

You'll have to try harder, Dennis. And don't think I won't tell your Bishop what you're up to.

Have a nice day, asshole.

-- Access For All (mychoice@notyours.com), August 31, 2000.

Hey, that's good of you, Access.

While we're on the subject, I should apologize to you for misrepresenting myself. You see, I actually AM Dennis Olson, but since thee rollover, I have become so ashamed of my behavior that I didn't feel I could come back. I've prayed for forgiveness, but my ego has made it difficult for me to ask forgiveness from those I wronged in 1999.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), August 31, 2000.

BTW, Dennis, I'm not lying about the old thread. I'll resurrect that thread later today so everyone can see how full of shit you are.

I imagine you're so upset right now, you're about to burst.

Everybody, step back! And put on your raincoats! He's gonna blow!

-- Access For All (mychoice@notyours.com), August 31, 2000.

While we're all MOTHERFUCKER confessing about secret shithead!!!! aliases we've used, I think it's high time I bow WOW came out of the closet, so to speak, about the only time I've used a different GOD DAMN!!! name.

As most of you COCKSUCKERS! have probably figured out, I am March for Bulllshit, AKA MFB. SON OF A BITCH

-- Timmy Tourettes (timmy.tourettes@syndrome.com), August 31, 2000.

Access,

Surely you can't be so stupid as to believe that anyone will believe that I posted the apology above, can you?

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), August 31, 2000.

Okay, that's it. I want to come clean, just like Dennis did.

I admit it.

I'm actually Jimmy Hoffa.

Now will you all go away and let me get some sleep?

-- CPR (buytexas@swbell.net), August 31, 2000.

I am Kaiser Soze...

-- Tarzan the Ape Man (tarzan@swingingthroughthejunglewithouta.net), August 31, 2000.

Everyone, I want you all to know that I'm actually Hawk.

I'm really sorry if I pissed, whoops, upset anyone with my language and abusive tone. It won't happen again.

-- Anita (notgiving@anymore.thingee), August 31, 2000.

I want to apologize for saying that Access for All is me when he isn't.

I was upset when I got tripped up in my own web of lies on the Romanian thread.

As most of you have probably figured out, I am Y2J.

-- Citizen Ruth (ruth_parker@yahoo.com), August 31, 2000.

Citizen Ruth,

Is that really you?

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), August 31, 2000.

Since everyone is unmasking, I might as well join in. I'm actually Pat Buchanan, but I actually post as INVAR. See you all at the race war!

-- Brian McLaughlin (brianm@ims.com), August 31, 2000.

Okay, I admit it! "Bruce" is just an alias. I'm actually Santa Claus! With my beard, how could there be any doubt?

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), August 31, 2000.

Oxy and I are one and the same.

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), August 31, 2000.

Sysman - how long is your hair now?

-- (bygrace@thru.faith), August 31, 2000.

When Anita is Hawk, I'm really Anita. Sorry.

-- helen (ash@me.d), August 31, 2000.

Yes it's me, silly. Why don't you call me anymore? Are you mad that I told your wife about us?

-- Citizen Ruth (ruth_parker@yahoo.com), August 31, 2000.

I am the walrus.

-- Goo Goo (g@joob.com), August 31, 2000.

I just wanted to apologize to all of you for my deception. I am really hmm@hmm.hmm.

-- (hmm@hmm.hmm), August 31, 2000.

Allright...I really AM Ladylogic @>--(---

-- cin (cin@=0).cin), August 31, 2000.

I am really cpr. I didn't post this.

-- cpr (buytexas@swbell.net), August 31, 2000.

Well fucking DUH, Creeper!

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), September 01, 2000.

Well darn, I am nobody!

Can I be Helen when she is Anita when Anita is being Hawk?

-- Grace (SincerelyGrace@aol.com), September 01, 2000.

I am Shocked.

-- Oxy (Oxsys@aol.com), September 01, 2000.

Omigod -- this is just like watching "Mission Impossible I" -- except somewhat more comprehensible. I mean I acquired two new facial tics just trying to get through this.

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), September 01, 2000.

Since faces are coming off, I think its 'only' fair to let you know I truly am Capn Fun.

I apologize for all the confusion please pass da beer.

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), September 01, 2000.

I'm really Charlton Heston.

Or am I secretly Rosie O'Donnell?

Wait! Maybe I'm Chris Rock.

Ah, the hell with it.

-- March For Bullshit (million.moms@are.wrong.org), September 01, 2000.

(eve passes da beer to 'sumer)

You know, 'sumer...capnfun doesn't spell his name with caps or a space, as you did. This tipped me off that you were just kiddin'. I've gotta admit, though -- you had me really worried for a minute, as I reflected back on all the conversations you had with yourself... :)

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), September 01, 2000.

Well, that wasn't the REAL 'sumer, saying she was.. uh...

-- Oxy (Oxsys@aol.com), September 01, 2000.

Well then, can I be Grace when Grace is Helen, when Helen is Anita, when Anita is Hawk?

(Sorry about the new tics, eve. Don't worry, they're insignificant until they start registering at the USGS. Pass the beer, please.)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 01, 2000.

I didn't author the above post.

I don't swear. The troll isn't smart enough to have figured that out.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), September 01, 2000.

I'll just be the lunatic bartender,heres a cooler FULL of da brewski's,have FUN girls : )

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), September 01, 2000.

a genuine soul

-- Oxy (Oxsys@aol.com), September 01, 2000.

I'm Ed Yourdon. It's nice to finally get that off my chest. I love you all, my children. I'll be cookings something new up soon, keep the faith!

-- Bemused (and_amazed@you.people), September 01, 2000.

capn: wanna mud wrestle? :-)

-- KOS (Kos@king of mud.wrstling), September 01, 2000.

Patricia, I haven't heard any whispering about the USGS yet, but I just got off the phone with my tax man, and he says I might be able to claim them as dependents. There's no direct precedent, but he heard of one guy who claimed two of his extra chins. He's following the case closely -- it's in the U.S. Tax Court right now. Apparently the defendant's (Plaintiff? Who cares -- what I REALLY want to know is where I set my bottle down...) really anxious to get this over with, as he happens to be losing weight -- and, of course, with it -- the evidence.

Oh geez...my bottle's empty. Got any Killian's Red, capn?

(Bemused...is that really you? -- THE Bemused? No way! Way?)

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), September 01, 2000.

Rasslin',mayhaps? depends ; )

Eve,

They're at the bottom of the cooler.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), September 01, 2000.

Not only did I not write the rude response to CPR, but I didn't write the apology either. Could it be I now have TWO trolls?

This is getting ridiculous.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), September 01, 2000.

Either I have two trolls, or just you working overtime.

What is it that pushed your button to troll me?

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), September 01, 2000.

J: (sumer fights past crowd of trolls in response to J's question)

Attention, its attention, IT craves attention.

So do something to distract IT, like um mud wrestle, yeah thats the ticket.

Cheer up :-)

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), September 01, 2000.

Eve, yup! I stopped back in to wander the empty halls, and found to my (dismay? delight? horror?) that this site still lives, though it seems like the denizens are ghosts, destined to occupy the site of a traumatic yet essential life event.... Forever.

I guess that makes me a ghost too, unless I'm just having a near death experience here in my nearly-empty-pre-holiday-weekend office.

Any of the old Great Deception thread crew still around, like I.S., gregg, beerman, bigdog...?

-- Bemused (and_amazed@you.people), September 01, 2000.

consumer,

Thanks for the kind word.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), September 01, 2000.

STOP IT TROLL. You must really be a sick individual to follow me around like this.

OTFR I demand that you delete this lying, scum sucking troll.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), September 01, 2000.

I would guess Access, but maybe it's someone else.

Want to fess up, troll?

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), September 01, 2000.

{Hint to Bemused - the secret word is 'reincarnation'. Keep it under your hat}.

-- flora (***@__._), September 01, 2000.

Enough is enough. I'm not going to stay here and argue with a lunatic.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), September 01, 2000.

Hey!!! I resemble that remark,but it's ok,I'm only the barkeep : )

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), September 01, 2000.

Goodbye, troll.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), September 01, 2000.

Hey capn:

Wanna Margarita Wrestle?

-- sumer (shh@its@secret.NOT), September 01, 2000.

Hi Bemused, good to see ya! Alas, "The Great Deception" crowd is gone. The thread got more and more sparse as I.S. got more and more into promoting the Qur'an, sometimes posting what seemed like many dozens of pages at a time. I mean, not that that's not ok, but you can understand why the audience dwindled -- the subject became much too narrow.

J,

I wish you the best of luck in somehow clearing this mess up.

(eve raises bottle up and nods over at the capn) Thanks, capn -- got one!

(she very slowly crosses back to her chair, one small step at a time, big grin, holding her arms slightly outward..."think 'balance,' girl, 'balance'...")

'Sumer,

I hope things are going better for you and your son. My heart goes out to you both.

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), September 01, 2000.

Every one (even da trolls)!!!

Have one on me...

-- Peg (too@much.spam), September 01, 2000.

eve,

Thank you, as well, for the kind word.

-- J (Y2J@home.comm), September 01, 2000.

Sumer,

Have allways loved rita'rasslin',helps keep ya limber.Of course I'll rassle any day.

Eve,

Anytime,help yourself to all the cool refreshers you want,BTW could ya grab me a Bud on the way back? Oh,bout the balancing thing,sit on the floor and it's hardly ever a major issue ; )

Anyone care for some spicy buffalo wings?

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), September 01, 2000.

Oops, picture a frosty cold one...sorry!

-- Peg (too@much.spam), September 01, 2000.

Let me try...

-- (hmm@hmm.hmm), September 01, 2000.

Thanks for the frosty one hmmm,wanna spell me? moi is off to work,have FUN yaw'll : )

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), September 01, 2000.

Oh come on, hmm, ya big tease! Every time I put my mouth to the screen I miss the glass!

Hi, Peg; I feel another Python moment comin' on, but I gotta split for awhile. See ya after a bit.

Capn...good idea. Aaaaahhh. I'm sittin' on the floor in a corner now -- got TWO walls proppin' me up. Cool.

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), September 01, 2000.

Capn: have a nice weekend. I hear chi-chi's margarita's calling.

Eve: you are so funny, here roll us 'one'

hmm, SLOW down the glass

thanks all for the 'fun'

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), September 01, 2000.

Thanks, hmmm!

And to those of you that can't catch it...ya had too many already...LOL!!

-- Peg (too@much.spam), September 01, 2000.

I'm sorry hmm...I spelled your...er...name wrong. Just isn't my day. I'm gonna catch that frosty devil...again and again and again...LOL!

-- Peg (not@enough.beers), September 01, 2000.

Nice try, troll, but you forgot to "sign" the post.

<:)=, genius...

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), September 01, 2000.