Have a little bit of word association see how long we keep it gannin' Ill start ....... Monkey

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Answers

spank

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Pony (money!)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Out of sequence already and on a day like today that was pretty hard to do.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Peter Reid to state the obvious :o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Why is when driving round looking for an address you turn the volume down on the radio?

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Well this has gone totally wrong. I'll start again following on from Dunx's initial spanking (?!) with....Discipline. Hopefully I've got this posted quick enough?

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

I tend turn mine off helps me to concentrate....I need all the help I can get!! :o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

And I'll follow on with.....Gimp Hat ;))

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Authority.....am I even doing this right??

Wouldn't hang man be easier?? :o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

What is a gimp hat when it is at home? What can I say I was brought up in a sheltered environment.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Afternoon folks! Well you`re not wrong - it`s a bit dreary on here today. What ya all been up to then?(:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Afternoon Galaxy.

Not a great deal, working for a change.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

I`ve been shopping in Bournmouth (more like Borneo today - hot and humid!) It was livelier on here during the `off` season! Time we started a good old non-footie thread I think!(:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

LOUDMOUTH

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Crater-gob?! (:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Zippy!

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Graham ( Bung - le and George )

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Geoffrey!

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Billy!(:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Ben!

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Bunter

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Hi mum,

I'm bored shitless at work.....too bored to even post much!!....this London lark is a doddle, late starts, 2 hour lunch breaks and early finishes....oh and more money ;))

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Scoff!(:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Youll be buying the beer then tonight afetr hearing that comment : - )

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Hi Gav - oh no, not MORE money - how tedious! (;o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

I'm certain I can afford a beer or two for ya mate ;))

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

BTW, it was very odd not having you around last week. I needed some advice on some photographs I`m trying to enhance, and couldn`t think who to ask!(:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Mum,

Yes it does get a little tedious.....still I'm certain I'll manage as usual to spend every last penny of it :))

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

I hear you there Gav! Just spent a fortune today - Pete`s birthday on Monday, followed by Mum`s, then Dad`s, then their 50th Wedding Anniversary! (:o0

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Hey Galaxy.....you should have got them a ticket each for the Southampton match, three birthday and a wedding anniversary all sorted out in one go......ab mag

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

If you want more tickets for the game Gal you can have my two as i think im getting one elsewhere .. do you want upper or lower tier ?

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Nice idea ITK. However, Dad is one of those `football`s not the same now` and `I remember when everybody who played for Newcastle was a Geordie`! (;o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Thanks Sting, are you offering them to me, or for Mum and Dad? Wild horses wouldn`t get me to take my parents to a football match - I get to so few, I wouldn`t want anything to spoil my day out!(:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Weyhey - just got a sudden flutter of butterflies then! I`m really looking forward to the Southampton match!(:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Weyhey - just got a sudden flutter of butterflies

I've got a great garden insecticide that can cure that for you Gal!

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

No, no - butterflies are good! You could have a go at my slugs though!(:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

You people are sick :)))

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Not a gardener then Gav?(:o) No comments about rising gradients please!

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Not that good on slugs I'm afriad, (unless they're called Gav).....I bought a box of slug pellets recently and fired bliddy thousands at the little sods but I didn't hit a single one!

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

You could have a go at my slugs ..... dont flirt with him Gal he's got a dodgy ticker man , and is like a dog on heat the best of times ; - )

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

How do I get rid of weeds in my lawn ITK, since you are dishing out gardening advice?? :o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Dodgy ticker eh???? Got any money ITK???? :o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

I`d better be careful then Sting - don`t want any unexpected litters thank you!(:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Sting: I managed to get rid of every weed in my front lawn, although I haven't yet been quite so successful with the back garden.....do you want to know how I did it?

Jay: Money.....course I have, jackpot on the lottery earlier this year.

Gav: Dog, heat, me.....no idea what you mean.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Ken ure gannin' micey man , ure answering all the wrong people .

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Weeds in the lawn that was me mate not Sting....age is affecting your brain mate! :o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Ooops sorry......senile de....whats it called?

Don't worry, just practising for taking over from Bobby (or whatever his name is) when he decides to retire.

Anyway Jay (got it right this time. Thank god for cut and whatsit), the best way to get rid of the weeds is to..........do you really want to know

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Yes I am hanging on your every word!

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

well I managed it by............

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Having it paved perhaps? (:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

digging the whole sodding lot out, concreting it and parking the car on it!

Sorry, couldn't resist

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

ITK that`s cheating! (:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

bugger it.....you got in before me Galaxy.

I did do that, but the tip I've been given for the back lawn is, when you have made a cup of tea/coffee, pour the remaining boiling/hot water directly into the centre of the weed. It burns and shrivels them up. It seems to be working for mine, but I'm now drinking ten pints of tea a day!

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Think I will stick to weed and feed :o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

The other thing to remember is, NEVER pull weeds out on a hot day and always try and do it in the evening.

When you pull weeds out they always deposit seeds onto the ground. It's impossible to stop it, if it is hot, the heat/sun starts them growing again straight away, if you do it when it is cool or in the evening, the seeds themselves have died by the time the sun comes up again.

As for your slugs Galaxy......get some plastic cups, you know, the polystyrene(sp) type you get coffee in, put about an inch and a half of beer (flat preferably) in the bottom of the cup and dig a small hole to put the cup into so that the top of the cup is just level with the ground. The hops in the beer attracts the slugs who fall into the cup and drown (nicely of course) you can then lift the cup out, throw the contents away and start again. I do it that way and one day last year I got nine slugs in one cup!

Happy gardening, Alan Titchmarsh, Gardners World for the NUFC BBS.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

ITK - you could try the wigwam approach on your weeds. I hear they don't like teepee.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

LOL Screacher!(:o)

Okay ITK, I shall try the beer thing!(:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Screacher, even I wouldn't have used that one.

BTW: They don't like dog pee either.......mind you, neither does the grass.....fighting a losing battle between the dog, the heat and the weeds....I reckon I'll just give up and wait till the entire lawn in dead and then try some of this decking.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Aw cut the sob story ITK! It`s not going to work - we`re not going to campaign to get Groundforce on the job - and that goes double for Charlie!(:o)

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Oh dear.....and I had hoped that Charlie would come round one winters day and sort out the garden.....partial to a couple of blue tits in my garden you know

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Thought I'd intruded on Gardner's Question Time there for a moment!
Actually, it took much longer than I expected to get round to discussing Charlie's dimmocks.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Forgot to make my point.
It always seems to be deathly on here after we win. Why is that? Presumably we are only chatty when we've got something to moan about.
Wasn't much of a point actually - in fact, wish I hadn't bothered; but I just felt chatty.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Hello Clarky.....indeed, welcome to Gardeners' Question Time. Tell us oyur problem and we will endeavour to help you out.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

What about millipedes, are they a good thing to have in the garden?

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

My main horticultural question IKT is what can be done to limit the growth of the red and white genus of 'makemilius bufooniflora' to the north of the River Tyne?
Traditionally it has not been a very hardy variety, but over the last couple of years it has become more persistant and difficult to eradicate.
Fortunately, there are signs it's abundance is beginning to weaken due to a congenital disease being spread by the 'resus reidus' weed known as "skinflinteumonia".
The early signs are hopeful that this incurable disease could fatally stunt the growth of this particulary ugly genus. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Garcie.....millipedes are very good in the garden, but not if you want them to play football........by the time they get their boots on and laced up it has got dark and impossible to play.

PS Got your E Mail re you aunt in NY....hope things are hanging on old son....thinking of you.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Dear My Clarky:

I totaly understand your concern and worry about the recent and seemingly vigorous growth that the species of makenilius buffooniflora has taken, but here at the RHS we have come to notice, in times past, that when this vermin parasitic weed has reared its thorny crown, it hasn't lasted more than a couple of years.

I have to say that you must at all cost withstanding the knee jerk reaction of believing that that makenilius buffooniflora is best dealt with by way of an army style flame thrower, or anything to do with hydrogen expolosive devices, these have been tried before and had a short lived effect, in actual fact, the person who initiated the firing is now residing in a small enclosure at a well know establishment in Durham. What is required is a more long term and permanant remedy.

The previousl traditional method of dealing with the problem, namely the sending in of a team armeds with the macmenemy spray now seems to have no effect on the weed as they appear impervious to it.

However, as you rightly suggest in your question, the current congenital disease being spread by the resus reidus weed known as skinflinteumonia is begining to take its toll on the problem, and in addition we have noted a further phenomena that is likely to help abate the problem.

We have recently detected an international case of philipscantscoreitis which seems to be making its way north. This has been coupled with a touch of quinnmekneesareknackeredus and luckily, as we speak, both strains are being spread by the wildlife of the area commonly known as the Winterwasp

Whilst we obviously recognise that this is the most abhorent of species, (we at the RHS have dubbed it barberspole monkeycopymylitis) we would further predict that the problem should only exist for another three short seasons.....autumn, winter and spring.

Finally Mr Clarky, any further mispronunciation of my name will ensure that your question do not get answered.

Yours faithfully

ITK

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

Thank you for your abundis splendifora answer neK.

Dyslexic of Darkest North Shields

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000