What do you do when you're mad? How do you manage your anger? Do you have a temper? Do tempers settle down with age?

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

Answers

well, considering that I recently got very angry at work and kicked a metal cabinet drawer that wasn't closed..and goddamn that drawer for not being closed....and ripped off my toenail....blood and tears ensued...

I have a problem with anger. I express it by kicking, hitting inanimate objects, screaming at the top of my lungs, or just seething as my eyes turn a bright green and shoot poison arrows.

my temper seems to be about the same at 35 as it was at 20....well, maybe a little worse.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

I kick and scream too. There was support beam in my old basment that I'd taken to hitting with an aluminum bat when I got really out of it. Then I found out from my roommates that when I do that, it shakes the whole house.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

I manage my anger BADLY. If it's at work, I usually clamp my jaw shut, and write the nastiest things I could ever imagine about the person. Then I delete it. Guess that makes me an bad-tempered wimp with a strong streak of realism.

If I'm angry at my husband, we either have an argument or I try to put it out of my mind through distraction. Distraction often wins, 'cause he ain't gonna change and neither am I. Sometimes I exact a subtle revenge, but more often than not I calm down later and just let it go.

When I'm really angry I clean like I'm trying to work off a hit of crystal meth. If I'm totally frustrated with rage, I cry. I HATE that, because then I can't break the cycle.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

I have a really nasty temper, but thankfully my buttons haven't been pushed in a while. I yell and make a god-awful face.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

I wish to God I'd respond differently when I'm mad. I cry then I obsess about it. At work I keep my composure then hide out in the bathroom for awhile. A girlfriend and I walk daily which helps get rid of the everyday adrenalin invoking shit. We can tell when one of us has had a bad day 'cause our walk is pretty speedy. If anyone has any ideas why I do this and how to stop, PLEASE let me know.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

Oh yeah, I cry when I'm mad, too.

Then I usually leave the house and drive around for hours, listening to music (when I *had* a stereo in my car) and smoking cigaretts and drinking Diet Coke.

I don't know if I have a temper or not, I think I let lots of stuff blow over, but my boyfriend thinks I blow up a lot.

Then again, he always likes to speak in a calm, sedated voice when he's mad, and I yell. I believe in expressing my feelings. I also believe I should get away before I physically express them, too.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

Wow! There's a lot of beating on stuff going on around here! I don't yell or kick or bang on anything when I get super pissed off. It's not real often I get that mad about something. But when it does happen, and I've always dealt with it this way, the thing that works it out of me is LOUD heavy metal (other music works, too, if it's not-too-nice and if it's dense as peanut butter). If I can't crank it up in my own house, I'll go drive around and try not to blow the speakers. There's something so visceral about good hard rock played at a deafening volume that wrings me out - I think it's the sound waves (which is why headphones won't do it for me) beating my body that literally physically work it all out of my cells.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

I don't get mad at all.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

I scream and throw things and blame. I also make up really inventive curse-words because regular old combinations just don't seem to do it anymore -- I want something *more* profane, *more* offensive, something that will make people *fall down* because they'll realize *exactly* how pissed off I am.

And then I focus on moving. In anothe state, I think, I'll be happier. Probably not. But it's a nice fantasy, isn't it?

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

My problem is when I get angry at somebody I don't tell them. Instead I just sit and stew and tell some one else how much I want to rip the eyes out of that person. I am SO horrible like that, its really not fair to whomever I'm mad at, I know, but I keep doing it!

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

I have horrbile infantile temper, just like my father. I've gotten better about it as I've grown up but I still have a long way to go. Sometimes I cry but usually I just fume about it to where it consumes me and I can't think about anything else. All of my emotions are way to close to the surface, constantly threatening to brim over and spill out all over everybody. I seem to get the maddest over ridiculous little things I can't control, like traffic or the line at the grocery store. Fortunately my boyfriend is very patient and understanding. He used to be silent and somewhat passive-aggresive when angry but he's gotten better at expressing himself as I've started learning when to just shut up and relax.

-- Anonymous, August 29, 2000

I was so, so, so full of rage last night. SO full of rage. I was in a house on my own, so I had no one to take it out on (my usual first impulse), and I really wanted to cry tears of frustration, but they just wouldn't come. So -- and I'm not in any way advocating this at ALL -- I drank a couple of cans of cider, and all of a sudden I wasn't mad anymore. I was all laid back and 'Who gives a fuck?'

And then it wore off, and I was mad again, so I went to sleep.

-- Anonymous, August 29, 2000

I don't get mad at all.

-- Jonny (jonnyx9@aol.com), August 28, 2000.

Yeah, Jonny doesn't get mad. He gets stupid.

-- Anonymous, August 29, 2000

At work, I e-mail one of my coworkers or I phone her and complain about whatever or whomever is pissing me off. She does the same with me.

At home, I occasionally stomp around or slam a door, but usually I just want to be on my own for a bit to get over it.

-- Anonymous, August 29, 2000

I have a very placid temperament and it takes a lot to get me really angry. (I do get mildly irritated at things like rude people in service positions or cretins in traffic, but that's usually dealt with by thinking or saying "you butthead!" really loudly, and then I let the offense go.)

I don't manage my anger well. There are things i have a right to be furious about that I over-analyze and I frequently doubt whether I'm in the right. I don't debate or argue with people much, actually, as I don't care enough about most piddly things to take a stand on them and as I am secure in my choices and decisions about major or personal issues.

I don't have much of a temper. I'm generally polite, easy-going, soft-spoken, patient, calm. If I do get extremely angry, I get cold and deadly and logical. Only three times have I ever in my entire life shouted at someone. I was reportedly scary as all get out when I did.

I'm much fussier as I get older about things that I consider preventable shitfulness: rudeness, carelessness, pissy moods, snappishness, etc. but I'm a lot less fussy about interpersonal drama and tensions between friends. If I'm not involved, I don't comment or insert myself in the middle. Everyone has to fight their own battles and make their own mistakes and I'm not going to interfere. I never really did in the past, but I'm very open about my non-interference and neutrality now.

I also note that I'm much more likely to get pissed over an injustice done to a friend than one done directly to me. I'll blow off nastiness directed at me, but I am very offended and angry when a friend is mistreated.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2000

When I get mad or upset, it's usually because I don't get my way. I'm such a baby. I'm really bad about pouting. My fiance says I give him the "lip lick, look away" when I'm mad. I lick my lips and then look away. He says I do it every time without fail, but I don't even notice it. Involuntary reaction.

-- Anonymous, August 31, 2000

I think Johnny is tellign a fib. It's well-documented that Johnnies get angry. :) It's Joanie Sommers' fault, she begged them to.

Johnny Get Angry

- Artist: Joanie Sommers
- peak Billboard position # 7 in 1962
- Words and Music by Hal David and Sherman Edwards


Johnny, I said we were through
Just to see what you would do
You stood there and hung your head
Made me wish that I were dead

CHORUS
Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me

Every time you danced with me
You let Freddy cut in constantly
When he'd ask, you'd never speak
Must you always be so meek?

CHORUS



Every girl wants someone who
She can always look up to
You know I love you, of course
Let me know that you're the boss

CHORUS

Johnny, get angry, Johnny
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny

FADE

And ever since, in Musicland, Johnnies have managed to get angry quite easily.

ANGRY JOHNNY

Johnny, Angry Johnny, this is Jezebel in Hell
I wanna kill you, I wanna blow you...away

I can do it you gently
I can do it with an animal's grace
I can do it with precision
I can do it with gormet taste

Chorus:
But either way
Either (way), either way
I wanna kill you
I wanna blow you...
Away

I can do it to your mind
I can do it to your face
I can do it with integrity
I can do it with disgrace

Chorus

Johnny, Angry Johnny, this is Jezebel in Hell
Johnny, Angry Johnny, this is Jezebel in Hell

I can do it in a church
I can do it any time or place
I can do it like an angel
To quiet down your rage

Chorus

I can do it in the water
I can do on dry land
I can do it with instruments
I can do it with my own bare hands

But either way
Either way, you know where it stands
I wanna kill you
I wanna blow you...
Away

Johnny, Angry Johnny, this is Jezebel in Hell
Johnny, oh my Johnny

Where did your pleasure go
When the pain came through you
Where did your happiness go
This force is running you around now
Getting you down now
Where is your pleasure now Johnny
Where has your pleasure gone now

Johnny, Angry Johnny...

Who can blame Johnny for being angry with Ms. "Can't talk to a psycho like a normal human being" Poe on his case?

This has been a meaningless post brought to you through the magic of Yahoo! and a slow work day.

-- Anonymous, September 01, 2000

Milla, you silly! I just love that Poe song. Too bad it was almost the only good one on the cd.

New Order has a song that goes "Johnny don't point that gun at me"

-- Anonymous, September 02, 2000