so when your birthday rolls around every year do you look forward to it with excitement or trepidation?

Mine's steamrolling my way, and as always, it freaks me out. It's a catch-22. I want presents and attention, but when I get it, I'm all embarrassed and shy, terrified that people spent too much money on me or felt obligated to get me something.

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2000

Answers

Oy. My 22nd birthday's in 3 weeks, and I have a mix of emotions about it. Depending on how I'm feeling at the time, I'm either ambivalent about it, depressed and anxious about people dropping in and phoning, guilty that I sometimes forget other people's birthdays and that they'll spend time and/or money on me, and scared that no-one will remember and I'll feel lonely and rejected. Which basically means that either way, I'm screwed.

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2000

I hate my birthday. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

I used to make myself all excited in the anticipation of my birthday, because I thought that's what I was supposed to do.

I'm not old, but I hate getting older. My birthday usually coincides with the beginning of a new school term and every year, I reflect on where I thought I'd be and where I actually am. Almost without exception, the chasm between the two depresses me to no end.

I find enough reasons to wallow in self-pity without a day for people (whose birthdays I've more than likely overlooked) to single me out to remind me of yet another reason.

Birthdays . . . BLECH!

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2000

My birthday? I wouldn't call it excitement, really. It's just kinda there. I don't really celebrate it with friends or family anymore. My wife and I usually do something special, and she's pretty good at picking out special gifts for me. I don't hate my birthdays or fear them - I look forward to them and I don't mind getting older. I'm not thrilled about getting older, but it doesn't bother me much. I certainly don't feel old.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

I enjoy my birthday, especially because it comes in the spring and spring weather and flowers are always a joy and a huge relief to me after a dark, oppressive winter. (I've been known to suffer from seasonal-affective symptoms).

Growing up, my mom always threw the most awesome birthday parties for me. When I was little she'd have her drama students come over and put on a play or a puppet show for me and my guests. When I got a little older she gave me more "grown up" birthday parties with lots of balloons and flowers and elaborate table settings. I didn't always get exactly what I wanted for my birthday, but Mom was brilliant with presentation and always made me feel special. So I have lots of fond childhood birthday memories and lingering pleasant associations.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

I recently read this article about self-absorbed people and it said that one "hallmark" is that they're the kind of people who enjoy making a big deal of their birthdays each year...and that every other normal person stops that stuff at age 12. Doh! I still love celebrating my b-day and I'll be 30 next year. It's not about the presents, I just want people there. I don't like it when they sing, though.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

I hate when people make a BIG deal out of it, but I feel dejected when they forget. Can't have it both ways. At work this year they got me a cake.. a big surprise and I felt bad because until then I'd never really paid much attention to theirs, and I don't even know how, but someone made the effort to find out when my birthday was. So ever since then I make some effort to celebrate with the gang. It's a fun diversion, gets us knowing one another better, and what more of an excuse do you need for a 3 hour lunch? :)

At home I usually just get a gift from my boyfriend and my parents. Quiet and nice, no big loud parties.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

I always say I'm not gonna make a big deal out of mine, but then it rolls around and no one calls me and I bust out a tear or two. But then, every other day of the year, I know that it's ridiculous to expect people to remember or do anything about it.

I enjoy my birthdays most when I spend them alone, actually. If I'm sitting at home waiting for Paul to surprise me or waiting for people to call, then it's just too lame.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

Um...birthdays are alright. My family just usually has a small party. This year on my 21st, my darling fiance took me to a reaaaaaaaally nice restaraunt at Disney and got me all sloshed. I don't obsess over it or get too excited. If someone gets me something or remembers it's my b-day, cool...if they forget (unless it's my mom or fiance)I don't get too upset.

-- Anonymous, August 31, 2000

My birthday is coming up in two weeks. I'm not happy about the number but I feel and obviously act a lot younger.

I like celebrating Pearl Harbor Day.

-- Anonymous, November 21, 2000

I LOVE my birthday! If it falls on the weekend, I like to celebrate it all weekend long. (2003, you can't get here soon enough!) I love the special foods (well, birthday cake) and the cards and the phone calls. My favorite part is the attention because it's my special day. It's June 6, if anyone wants to send an e-card.

Now that I think of it, I love other people's birthdays, too! It's so fun to celebrate or cheer them with a card or a call, and know that it's a fun day for them! And I get to eat cake then, too!

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Erika, I'll send you an e-card. Your birthday's the day after mine.

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

Happy almost birthday to you! Yay and thanks!

-- Anonymous, November 22, 2000

My birthday was last Saturday and it was really quiet and kinda blah. I had a great time with my wife, just hanging out and eating some great meals at area restaurants, but otherwise nothing special. Honestly, that was a bummer. I'm not looking for a huge celebration, but this year kinda bit.

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000

One week from today I will be 41.

I do not particularly enjoy Birthdays or the associated parties. It's not the "I'm getting old" thing, more of a lack of enjoyment of all the attention directed at me. Family that you haven't heard from in a year call to say "HBDay" and "do you feel a year older?" or the goofy (funny) presents..... Oh look another stuffed RAT how cute.... I always wanted a matching set of GOAT statues with glow in the dark eyes..... It's a coffee cup with the handle on the --===INSIDE===--, HOWwwww cleverrrrr!...... Thanks kissy kiss...

I enjoy buying for others and giving to others, (not rats, goats, or funny cups), especially the kids. I dunno, maybe I've got deep seated issues.......

-- Anonymous, November 23, 2000

Next month I'll be 29, and I don't want to hear anyone make a stale joke about me only pretending to be 29. I hate jokes about women lying about their ages.

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000

shelliey why would you celabrte perl harbor day???

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000

Gwenz, why would you want us to think your older? 29 my ass. You can't be a day over 21. Kiss, kiss. I could care less about my birthday. Really. If people make something of it you have to act all surprised and say "oh shucks! You shouldn't have gone to all the trouble. Really." If they don't , why would you be bummed? It's not anything special to them. I just don't even think about it. I usually forget because I've got some trip planned or something. My wife says,"honey, you can't go. It's your birthday." Then I say, "Then why can't I go?" I always get a blank stare on that one. Doh!! I love each day as it comes to me. And they're all great! But I love to get others special surprises and cooool cards. I've got all kinds of cards in the drawer and when I "do" remember a birthday I search for the best one for that person. I hate buying gifts for people's birthdays too. I buy when I spy something that they will use or get a kick out of. I hate seeing a present sitting up in a closet. I got some Genie Car Wash gift certs for my niece once cause she had an old car and wouldn't wash it. Money's no object. It's the item I like and if I think it will tickle them, I get it. But kids!!! I love to have birthdays for kids. They are so thrilled. Most kids haven't been jaded and they get a real kick out of the attention. I love it. Wide surprised eyes are all that I need in return. And a big smile. I try to make the memories for them last a lifetime. It should always be a good time for kids. Always. And Floo too! Hey Bubba! Let's find out when Floo's going to have her birthday and get her something. Wink, wink. Lumberjack

-- Anonymous, November 24, 2000

Think really hard floosie...duh!

-- Anonymous, November 25, 2000

I like celebrating my birthday and prefer that people make a big deal out of it. Unfortunately DH did not grow up with the habit of birthday celebrations so if I want a good birthday I have to do it for myself, which takes a bit of the fun out of it.

I had my 35th birthday recently.

The only birthday I was ever sad about was my tenth. I was sad because I was leaving the single digits and since it was rather unlikely that I would make it to 100 I would be in the double digits until I died.

Perhaps because of these intimations of mortality, I have always tried to be happy and positive about them. Hooray!!! I survived another year.

Getting older is what happens if you're fortunate. Consider the alternative...

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2000

I sincerely do not care about the numbers (growing older that is) but I do NOT like "forced" celebrations... like at work when all that month's birthday people have to stand there and listen to HAPPY BIRTHDAY and every grabs a piece of crappy cake and slinks off. That is too contrived and awkward. I like it when people remember - give me a call, leave a message or send a card. I am always disappointed when a lot of people seem to forget and then make the same exact excuses and tell me what they WOULD have got me, etc. That seems more depressing than just forgetting it all together. I admit I am pretty good at remembering other people's birthdays (it is called MAKING A LIST) and, if the person/event warrants, even get a gift off. People always act as if that is some sort of "special" talent I have (what? remembering and getting off my lazy butt to get something in the mail?) and, shrug, they just can never remember and they are sure I will "understand." Sure. Fine. Whatever.

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2000

Heh. When my mother turned 29 my father threw her a surprise party... and told everyone it was her 30th. And no one would believe her that it wasn't.

I love the idea of my birthday- I mean, I love presents, and I love things that are all about me. But the actuality of it has usually sucked. Growing up no one was ever around because it was in the summer, and even now it seems my friends are always on vacation or whatnot.

-- Anonymous, November 27, 2000