God's sitting up in heaven, and he's had enough of the pressures and stresses of being the number one, so he's decided to go on holiday. He mobiles his mates to come round to chat about possible destinations.

"What about Mars" , says one.
"Nah, went there 15,000 years ago",says God, "It was shit, no atmosphere, too dusty and there was a convention in town that kept pissing me off."

What about Pluto", suggests another.
"Nah, I went there about 10,000 years ago, absolutely freezing and none of the ski lifts were in operation"

What about Mercury then" says another.
"Nice, but I went there about 5,000 years ago, didn't put any sunscreen on and nearly burnt me bollocks off, it was that hot. Never again" says God

"Well what about Earth then" suggests another.
"You must be joking" says God, "I went there about 2,000 years ago, shagged some Jewish bird, and they're still effin talking about it.

-- Anonymous, August 24, 2000