Bad perms, bad cuts, bad dye jobs -- tell us your sob story. Show us pictures if you have them.

-- Anonymous, August 17, 2000

Answers

Yeah, I'm having one now. I have naturally red hair, about the colour of Gillian Anderson's. I dyed it black, which looked super-fresh until it started growing out. So now I have jet black hair with an inch of red regrowth. I'd re-dye it, but I miss my natural colour. From a distance, I've been told, it looks like my hair's falling out. :(

-- Anonymous, August 18, 2000

Oy, that's why I've never dyed my hair. I'm a big square baby about that, too. The potential consequences are too long term; I don't think I could cope with a hair tragedy. My hair's been the same for about ten years now, just long and wavy. Pretty much all I do with it is wash it and dry it and have it hacked back when the ends start to split. It looks pretty and it is easy to take care of so I just don't screw with it. The most radical thing I've done is get some highlights.

-- Anonymous, August 18, 2000

I got a curly perm when I was a junior in high school. I have no idea why. I think I wanted to look more like a rock star. MAJOR backfire. But the funny part for me was when my best friend saw mine and permed his hair, too - only he had baby fine thinning hair and he looked more like he was wearing a Brillo pad on his head. Man, I was SO glad I had someone else around a lot who had much worse hair and could take the attention away from me.

-- Anonymous, August 18, 2000

I've had so many bad hairstyles. The funny thing is that I actually thought most of them were pretty cool when I got them. Looking back on them, I realize that I had bad taste back then.

-- Anonymous, August 18, 2000

The only time I tried to trim my bangs, I was getting ready to go to an eighth-grade graduation party, and I cut one side and then the other. Then the one side than, the other a little bit. Then they were still uneven, so I kept taking a little bit from each side, tilting my head one way, and then the other, until I had - no lie - bangs that were so short that they stood up. I ended up being able to brush them into my existing hair and went off to the party, with no one the wiser. The next month or two, when they were growing out, I looked like a deranged Mamie Eisenhower.

-- Anonymous, August 18, 2000

I just thought of another hair-don't. When I was in year seven, I shaved the front part of my head to give myself a higher forehead. No shit, it was so embarrassing. I was teased mercilessly by the other kids when it started to grow back. My mother freaked.

-- Anonymous, August 18, 2000

Sigh. My hair is a perpetual tragedy. I'm never happy with it.

But I was most scarred by the pixie cut inflicted on me the week before my first day in first grade. I liked my hair as long as I could grow it, which, at four, meant it was a respectable below-the-shoulder length, but I was tender-headed and my mother was impatient and didn't like taking her time when brushing it, so I'd end up in tears and upset and she'd wind up wanting to whack me because I'd squirm so much.

She started plotting early. She would miss a few snarls here and there, just to let them get good and knotty, and then during the painful comb-out process, would ask questions like, "Wouldn't you love not to ever have to get another knot out of your hair?" Of course I snuffled a heartfelt "yeah!". Amen to THAT.

I got a little suspicious when she started using "we" about my upcoming hair appointment. The word "we" was never a good sign. It always meant that she had her mind set on something and that I'd better toe the line and do as she wanted, otherwise "we" would get a spanking. You can see why I didn't trust that any more than I believed the old "this hurts me more than it hurts you" line. (If it hurts you so much, don't let me hold you back from stopping at ANY time, now!) Oy.

So "we" were going to get "our" hair cut, and it would be fun and "we" would just love it. "we" were going to have a Big Girl Cut. "We" were going to look so nice. Hold up, just whose head was going to get sheared again? It wasn't easy to tell.

"We" got dragged in and placed in a huge uncomfortable chair (amazing how both of us fit in there at the same time and all) and "we" endured getting arranged and prodded because "we" were small and short and kept sliding down the tilted seat towards the floor. They strapped "us" in and "we" got a haircut.

Cleverly, they kept my back to the mirror the entire time and kept upping my anxiety level by saying how marvelous "we" looked. Again, a sure fire sign of trouble is when parents feel the need to encourage you BEFORE you've had a chance to see for yourself and form your own opinion. I started getting suspicious when my head felt lighter and lighter.

Then they turned the chair around and I WAS BALD. Well, not really, but DAMN.

Okay, let me explain that I was a towhead. You know, blonde. WHITE blonde at the time. And I was a very pale child. So I looked like a kewpie. Very bald. I was a very bald child. Then I was a very SAD bald child.

My mother had tried to foist bald baby dolls on me before, as she had always liked them. Not me, man. I liked Barbie, with her long hair. Stuff you could brush. I was partial to my own hair, actually. I played with it and brushed it as best as I could and LIKED it being long. But now it was gone. And somehow I knew it wasn't coming back. But just to be sure, I asked them to put it back. Immediately.

Uncomfortable shufflings and muterings between the hairdresser and my mother. My hair, it was explained, would have to grow back.

I cried--and this is no exaggeration--for two days straight. Then I cried whenever I looked in the mirror for the next FOUR YEARS. My hair just will not grow fast, and I felt I was ugly. I didn't start liking my hair again until I was about eleven or twelve.

At which point "we" suddenly felt the need to fuck with it again and "we" got a spiral perm.

God damn it.

After I recovered from that, I grew my hair long, to my elbows, and got compliments on it ALL THE TIME. So of course, when I had to get the split ends trimmed, I lucked into the World's Most Inept Hairstylist Ever, and she whacked a FOOT off my hair, and she did it while I was watching in horro and begging her to leave it uneve, please just leave it uneve, not to cut any more off for the love of God...but she persisted, which meant I had a bob, which meant I felt naked and unhappy and ugly all over again.

I tried a "temporary" color for Hallowe'en one year--spray-on "wash-out" black hairspray--and my hair sucked it in and it DID NOT WASH OUT. I eventually had olive hair, which looks good on NO ONE, people. It faded a bit and then I had ashy blonde hair, which is what it is today--it never recovered fully after that. And I can only blame myself for THAT idiocy. I've never had the same light color I used to have.

And people wonder why I am so leery of trying new things with my hairstyle.

sigh.

-- Anonymous, August 18, 2000

Oh yeah--and this is embarrassing--I started off in life with a widow's peak. You know, little heart-shaped face, hair grows onto forehead in a V, that thing? Because I was in such a hurry to get my hair to grow faster, I figured that tugging on it might help. The downside is that I was a little too enthusiastic about it and occasionally would yank a hank out. Not exactly helpful.

I no longer have a widow's peak because it was an easily-accessible place to wrap a hank of hair around my finger from. I eventually yanked the roots out, a few at a time. And, of course, you can tug and yank all you want, and your hair isn't going to grow one micrometer faster than it was planning to grow anyway. So I yanked a lot of hair out thinking I was being smart (after all, I had a friend who had a doll and if you pulled on HER hair it grew back! Kid logic, man).

You can only tell if I point it out and if there is good lighting--there are only some long, fine, white-blonde bits there now--but I remember when I had one and thought it was kinda cool.

And yeah, I caught all kinds of hell for pulling on my hair, too. That was the bonus.

-- Anonymous, August 18, 2000

I just got the worst dye job i've ever had. A year ago I had one too and I thought nothing could be worse until today! This is the second time I have had to fire my colorist in a year. I 'm originaly a blond. Born blond and had it that way until I was 18. Then I get a boyfriend who loves dark haired women. So what do I do? Yes i died it a dark auburn color. I liked it and kept it for about a year. The biggest draw back was that I had to buy all new makeup because my skin tone looked very different with dark hair. Anyway, my friends and family began telling me that they thought I looked hotter and younger with my blond hair and that I should dye it back. So I went back to my stylist and told her that I wanted to be blonde again. That bitch just forgot to tell me that it takes time to get back to blond after being dark for sooooo long and precided to bleach my hair. When I looked in the mirror my eyes began to well up. My hair was bright orange because of the red undertones in my previous color. I looked like a damn calico cat! It was also very uneven and I could see a lot of streakes of auburn too. So i immediatly went to the drugstore and bought my own little bleaching kit to remove the rest of the auburn. BIG MISTAKE!! I put it all over my head and when I rinsed it out I was brighter than a light bulb. My hair was florescent yellow. It was totally transparent, It actually glowed in the dark. I was devastated so I went to the local beauty supply store were they have cheap stylists. I asked for all the advice they could give me. The guy told me to buy a light brown/blond dye to put over the white so it would look more natural. so now I 'm home and i'm about to put in the light broen dye. Wish Me Luck!!! - jaclyn

-- Anonymous, February 18, 2001

I got a Bad Haircut this Saturday. The haircut itself isn't awful. People say it looks good. I just can't do anything with it like I could my old hairdo. I can't let it air dry, I have to spend time blowing it. I can't sleep on it when it is damp, or with pins or bands in it to hold it off my face because it will set in weird crimps. It's too short to ponytail and I like wearingmy hair in a ponytail and told the jerk I was growing it out. I've told himt his for a year, and I keep going longer and longer between haircuts and each time I get one, he cuts it shorter than he did before, leaving me at Step Minus One.

He used to put highlights in my hair, and I'm a naturalblonde, so I didn't want big white-blonde streaks. I just wanted my summer-lightened color to be put on top of my winter- darkened color. I got a butterhead out of it, and I was complimented, but I hated it. I likemy dark blonde hair. So he is no longer allowed to put chemicals on my head.

If the haircut itself was bad, I'd fire him. But he can cut hair beautifully, and I know I get in a hairstyle rut. I give it three weeks. It will be shaggier and longer then, and I'll be a little less traumatized by then.

Maybe UI'll be able to ponytail it by that time.

P.S. I think I'm going to look into extensions. Damn it. They'll never be able to match my natural hair color, because no one who isn't born with it would want it. No fake hair extension things are ever going to match: it's too dark for those who want to be blonde, and too light for those who want to be ashy-brown. *fuss* Maybe I'll just dye it dark brown and say "fuck it". I have dark brown and black wigs and look good in them. I just don't know. I'm frustrated as all hell with my hair. Why can't it just grow and maintain itself without causing me angst? Bleah.

-- Anonymous, February 19, 2001