All right, what does it mean? Anal sex? Keys to the back door? Neither? Help me clear this matter up once and for all.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

Answers

Two things spring to mind.

1. Someone who avoids direct confrontations, slipping out the (metaphorical) back way rather than being forced to face something.

2. Back around the turn of the century, a back door man was a domestic servant who dealt with deliveries of groceries, etc. -- kind of like the home equivalent of a Receiving guy.

#1 might be plausible in your context. #2 obviously isn't, though it's amusing to think about.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

George, I dunno about that definition. When Robert Plant belts out "Shake for me dear/ I wanna be your backdoor man!!" with overflowing bravado and testosterone levels peaking off the charts, I hardly think he's implying that he'd like to avoid problem situations!

The last time I heard "backdoor man" used in song, it was music from the 60s, where white musicians everywhere were trying to pin down their "blues roots." Undoubtedly Plant heard this on some dusty blues record and decided to use it. And some of those blues lyrics are downright raunchy. (It's not like Zeppelin invented this kind of bravado, but they certainly brought it to football stadiums everywhere.)

I propose we write a new "Backdoor Man" song. There hasn't been one in a while, has there? Let me know if there is a more recent example that Zeppelin.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

There was of course a cleverly-disguised "Backdoor Man" song in the charts recently - Fastball's "The Way", about first-time anal sex ("they started packing") gone wrong ("where were they going without even knowing the way?"). My friend Brynne refuses to believe me on this, but obviously Fastball is another in the long line of bands in the proud "Backdoor Man" tradition, even if they had to be subversive to get it on the radio.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

Well, if we're talking about other songs with hidden backdoor references, there's always Toni Basil's "Mickey". Yes, that "Mickey." Consider the lines:

So come on and give it to me anyway you can
Anyway you want to do it, I'll take it like a man

If that isn't about giving someone the keys to your back door, I don't know what is.

Josh just managed to make that Fastball song suck a little bit less. That song was all over the radio last summer and I don't think I ever made it the entire way through.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

Wait a minute, what about the rest of the lyrics to "The Way?" None of the rest of them fit the flesh thermometer theme. I forgot about "Mickey," I'll accept that. A lot of subtext there.

Did you know "subtext" is an anagram for "buttsex?" Kinda makes you think.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

I would like to take a moment to support my idea that it has to do with being the "other man" in an affair... I would like to cite the Led Zeppelin song "Since I've Been Loving You" in which Plant says...

"I open my front door, I hear my back door slam... I guess you must have one of those new fangled back door men."

And I think that song has something to do with him working a lot to bring money home to his good for nothing wife who spends it all on other men and shit... Then again it could be a wonderful love song and I'm just hearing what I want to hear.

But he definitely mentions her having a back door man and since I doubt he was implying that she uses strap ons to give men The Ass Love I think it supports my claim.

Thank you. -Ray

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

REST of the lyrics? A rose is a rose, I say. Er, an assfuck is an assfuck. OBVIOUSLY if they were to be any more explicit, they never would've been able to get their paean to backdoor lovin' out to millions of unsuspecting fans. Also, mustn't forget Frank Zappa. Large portions of Joe's Garage ("Keep It Greasy", constant reference to "plookin'" on the part of record company execs) and "Lather" ("ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up the poop chute")

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

I always thought that in "Disarm" from Smashing Pumpkins, the lyric said, "Sodomy is such a part of you." As in "The Way," maybe we're just hearing what we want to hear.

I just realized how many times I've posted to this topic. I'm going home to take a cold shower now.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

Haysi Fantayzee - "John Wayne Is Big Leggy" was notoriously 'about' anal sex and may well have been banned by the good old BBC on said grounds, as opposed to being banned because it was rubbish. The point of the song being that John Wayne is 'big leggy', leg here being a 'metaphor' for dick. The legwarmer-clad 80s novelty duo play the Duke plus unnamed 'squaw': Wayne in mid-song commands his belle to "Turn around!" and the track degenerates into an orgy of squealing.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

I think the "it means both" compromise is actually accurate. I was discussing this question with an associate who claims that "back door man" refers to not only sneaking in the actual back door of a house as a clandestine lover, but to having anal sex so as to avoid IMPREGNATING or BECOMING IMPREGNATED as a result of clandestine sex. Makes sense to

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

I would like to add that I think it is very weird that Nanette points out "Mickey" as an example of an anal sex reference in mainstream culture because I (for some bizarre reason) always thought Mickey was gay and that the song was sort of a G-rated version of "Johnny Are You Queer?" by Josie Cotton. Perhaps Toni knew he was gay, deep down, and decided to attempt to seduce him with a little ass love. Not that anal sex is only for gay men, blah blah blah, as this forum so clearly di

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

"...to me" and "clearly displays." Erm, thanks.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

I think the most eloquent paean to anal sex is Spinal Tap's "Big Bottom", where you'll hear that heroic couplet:
"My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo/I love to sink her with my pink torpedo" As for the Whole Lotta Love thing, Zeppelin ripped that off from a Willie Dixon song, maybe that changes the interpretation. Probably not though, anal sex is anal sex thoughtout time immemorial. Other good Zeppelin lyrics to chew on:
"Squeeze my lemon baby, till the juice runs down my leg"
Wonder what that is all about....

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000