At work today we were talking to this girl who is starting her freshman year in college this fall and wanted advice and shtuff for how to survive. So how about it, any need to know tid bits, horror stories, etc. from what are supposed to be the best days of our lives? :)

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2000

Answers

Oy, I'm just gonna unload, so it's best not to look for advice here. I had a really hard time in college. In fact, I totally fell apart. I was mental and I had no idea. See, I cruised through high school, acing everything with almost zero effort. So I went to college with no idea how to actually study. Plus I couldn't really cope with being on my own and taking care of myself. I shriveled up into a tiny little ball and hid. Then after awhile I'd start to feel better, start functioning like a normal person for awhile, going to class, studying, making decent grades. I'd get almost confident. I thought I'd conquered my little depression problem all by myself. Then suddenly outta nowhere I'd be back down in it, unable to get out of bed, let alone leave the house. And it truly was senseless, because I liked my classes, my university, my town. (My grandmotehr said of me to my mother: "She's 19, brilliant, and gorgeous. What has she got to be depressed about?") It took me so long to figure out that it really didn't have anything to do with me. This was my cycle for 4 years. My transcripts are totally schizophrenic, a semseter of A's, then a semester of W's (withdrawn) and/or F's. Lather rinse repeat. Once I finally realized I coulnd't just will myself to get better I got my mental health under control (better living through chemistry). I had 2 awesome semsters in a row, but then Mr. Wonderful got a fabulous, high paying job offer 2 states away. He wanted me to come with him. I wanted to come with him. I thought I'd find a univeristy here in Texas. My mom cried, she told me I'd end of working in a bank and I'd never go back to school. Well, she was half right, I work at a bookstore and I've not yet been back to school. I desperately want to go back and finish, and I know I'll make it happen when I'm ready. I want to study more psychology so I can help all the poor dumbfucks like me who think that it is all their fault that they cry uncontrollably for no reason. Even though I have enormous deep regrets that I have not yet finished school, I'm not sorry I ran away with Mr. Wonderful. If I'd stayed it would have been another deep enormous regret, another what if to ruminate over. And despite all the horror and suffering I wouldn't change my college experience or my experiences with depression. It's given me so much empathy for the disenfranchised and appreciation for the truly good things in life. I learned to never take beauty, pleasure, or happiness for granted. Despite my spotty transcript and lack of a diploma I think I'm a much wiser person than if I'd had a more normal college experience.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

Be flexible! Don't go in with a preconceived notion of this-is-how-I- get-on-the-fast-track-to-a-great-life. Try all kinds of classes and then explore the areas that fascinate you intellectually. I remember TONS more from the Russian and French Lit and Animal Environments and Horticulture classes I took than from the boring, hellish engineering classes that made up my major. Although I have a degree, someday I WILL go back and study things without regard for their future economic benefit.

Oh, and don't get hung up on dating or looking for your future soulmate. It's true -- the harder you look, the less likely you are to find, and it's so much unnecessary agony when you're that young anyway.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

The best piece of advice I can give is to not consider your college years as "the best years of your life." After all, what does that say about the 60 or so years of the rest of your life?

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

Wow, Tracy, I never thought about it like that but you are so right! My mom used to depress the hell out of me because whenever I was feeling stressed out or unhappy or something she's just say "Get used to it, this is what it's always going to be like when you grow up, these are the best days of your life!" Screw that.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

My mom says that yeah, college were the best 4 years of her life. Until the 4 years after that, which were the best 4. And then the 4 years after that... which seems to be a good attitude to take.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

if/when you get into a serious relationship, don't ditch your friends. Do all the cool and wild and crazy stuff with your friends, sans the SO. You'll have much more fun that way, have more to talk about, and you'll have more friends when you move 2 states away with your SO. :)

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

Don't be surprised if you flunk a class. This is something that plagued a great many people I knew in college--they kept a killer GPA all through high school, then they hit college, freedom, parties, hormones, new friends and hobbies, classes, new experiences, all at once, and their grades slipped. Suddenly they felt like it was the end of the world that they failed a class.

It's not. It's just a low grade. Take the course again and move on.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000

My advice is study hard your freshman year. You won't, but at least try to make yourself. It'll be more fun to go out a lot later anyways, when you're 21 and you've got good college friends you've known a few years to hang out with. A lot of the people I remember running around with as a freshman weren't even my peeps by the time I was a junior, and the people I got to know more gradually are my friends to this day.

I was stressed out a lot in college because I was pretty into my academics, but the 4 years after college were phenomenally fun as a result of working when I could have been playing in college.

Don't expect it to be any kind of "experience", just a chance to learn a bunch of cool stuff.

-- Anonymous, November 01, 2000

1. Don't try to score drugs your first few days - it might alienate your roomates

2. Don't expect your roomates to want to share or even be your friends, if it works out, it's great - but it might not. Try to go for mutual respect.

3. The people you hang out with the first few weeks... in the second semester you still have to say hi when you run into each other but by sophmore year you can get by with just nodding and smiling when you pass in the street. By senior year you can pretend not to see each other.

4. It is harder than high school, study. It's worth it to go to class.

5. You might be very lonely and scared and not even realize it until 10 years later.

6. Study what interests you.

7. Don't be afraid to speak to your professors. Visit them during their office hours, they often like it and you can learn more.

8. Don't put off all your research for the day befor your paper is due. It's best not to leave off the writing that far either, but at least if you've done the research you have something to write about.

9. Chances are it will be much more fun than high school and you'll make some really good friends, but don't expect it to happen in the first weeks.

10. Join silly groups - spending time with people like Society for Creative Anachronism types is interesting.

11. Go to as many films and plays and musical performances as you can.

12. Don't bring clothes that require ironing.

13. You will likely be shocked. It's OK. 18 is too young to be completely jaded. I...who lived a fairly wild life in high school was shocked (and I am not being sarcastic) when I saw some friends of mine in first year buy a roll of chocolate cookie dough and eat it without any pretense of making cookies. It shocked me more than seeing somebody freebase, I swear.

14. Remember that lots of other kids in their first year are also scared and feeling out of it and uncool.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000