I think I had one of my first major "senior moments" today. I use a LapTop as my PC and it doubles as both the office PC and the one I use at home. I packed my bags this morning as usual to come into the office, having shut down Windows, put the mouse in the bag etc etc and set off for the orifice.

When I got in, I found myself a desk and started to unpack when lo and behold, there was a big gap in the bag where my LapTop should be. Another hour's round trip to go back home and collect missing item. Doh! Now I know what YBR must feel like.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Answers

oldest trick in the book Screach , do you really expect work to believe that one , im sure there was a voluptuous young lady waiting in bed for your return and pointed you the right way to the mouse : - )) Sorry , sorry the missus has been away too long : - ))

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Don't worry about it Screach, at least it was home! Unrelated but stupid experience for me yesterday- I went out and bought a washing machine for the house and got entranced by the salesgirl. Ended up buying a machine about twice the size of the opening in my basement!

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Yes, but the real issue is whether your 'machine' is twice the size of opening in her basement.

Finnbar S Saunders

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

aye, that's why girls can't park cars....'cos they're always told that their fella's old fella is eight inches.

I can picture the scene Pete, "Ooh" she said breathily, "how's big is it down stairs".......it's err err oooh enormous! ;))

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Reminds me of the time I was watching an Arsenal game last year, and this girl comes up stands next to me and starts to watch the game. After a few moments she asks me " who my favourite arsenal player" not wishing to go into the whole "are you from England" crap I said something like bergkamp. Without batting an eyelid she returns with " i love seaman" not I love Dave Seaman just " I love seaman" I nearly fell into me pint. I don't even think she realised what she said.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

I love Semen!!! I would have exploded, if you know what I mean :)

Actually, this girl could have sold me anything. Anything. And now I'm off to replace it with a "smaller" machine and was happy to learn she is not in today.

Yes, size does matter.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Hey Pete. I don't suppose she asked if yuo wanted a tumble as well did she?

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Screach, Oh how I wanted to check her rinse cycle. I would be mixing white with black if you know what I mean.. wink wink. I know you're not supposed to get your colors mixed up but she was worth losing your shirt.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

I can imagine Pete. It's OK as long to mix your colours as long you don't do it too hot. I bet you were also looking forward to pressing her smalls as well.

BTW. Was it AC or DC?

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

This may be completely unrelated to age: you might just have Alzheimers.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Ha Ha Ha. Nice one Dougal!

Reminds me of:

Doctor "Good news Mr Jones, you're not dyslexic - you're just thick as two short planks!"

BTW What B@stard decided to call it dyslexia - I bet dyslexics are dead chuffed about that!

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Speaking of AC/DC, I went back to find a smaller machine and along came a George Michael-type sales"man" over to me wearing a green suit with hair done up all curly-like. He told me that my opening was big enough after all. Suddenly I felt sort of small but relieved, like I blew a load!

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2000