I've got a friend over here in Birmingham (UK) from Chicago. She's been here for a week, and will be here for two more. Luckily, we keep each other pretty amused, because she's not really the museum type, though we may head to Cadbury's World for a tour. Other than that, all we're doing is shopping, eating and going to pubs and clubs every night. I feel, though, that I should be showing her...I don't know, culture and shit.

What do you do with hard-to-entertain guests?

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Answers

Can't you just give her a guide book? Or leave them in highly conspicuous places around the house?

I am positive that you are a delight to be around, but after being at a friend's place for a week, I would definitely need some space. of course, I like to believe that I'm a fairly easygoing houseguest. I plan daytrips for myself so that I'm not constantly in my host's hair, and try meeting new people while I'm visiting.

There's a million things I would do if I was able to go to the UK... it's easy to get around, is it not? Give her a map of the tube system and write down the things you like best about each stop. Man, I'd want to hop the Chunnel, go to the towns that my ancestors lived in, go to cheesy places like Cheddar and buy cheddar cheese, take pictures of the Real World London's townhouse, hang out at the palace with a pair of binoculars and see if I can get a view of the young prince's tushie, I would have brought my Paddington and took pictures of him with various people doing various activities on the tube... like I said, a million things, at the very least.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

It's a shame the football season hasn't started yet, 'cause I would think that a visit to Villa Park would entertain even the most steadfastly un-entertainable. Especially with Ginola joining.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Well, DUH, Jackie... show her where the Rum Runner used to be. Take her to where John and Nick's parents live. Visit Simon's old university. Visit John and Nick's old university. Think to yourself "this... this is where they wrote 'Girls On Film'"-

Lesson learned: never ask a Duranie for advice about what to do in Brum....

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Aren't they showing dirty movies in Leicester Square (sp?) on that big screen, this summer? (I think they're actually public art films.) Can you plop her down over there? What about sending her to Bath for a tour? How about that new Tate Modern (I know she's not the museum type, but that place looks fab.) How about enrolling her in a little art class at V&A? Can you tell I've been reading my England travel books? But I love museums, so I can think of tons of things to do.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Ho ho. Americans' general misperception that everywhere in the UK is within walking distance is quite amusing. Yes, it's a small country, and yes, Birmingham and London aren't THAT far apart, but it's still a big enough distance to prevent people from just strolling down for a couple of hours.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Oh, ha! That's a knee-slapper. Why, that's as funny as my dumb British in-laws' belief that they could drive from Toronto to the Rockies in a day.

It's not as if the Americans corner the market on being geographically challenged.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

"Well that purty little island is only an inch across on this here map. How long could it take this country bumpkin to walk across it, if'n I had a mind to?

I just didn't figure that Jackie was talkin' about goin's ons just around her neck of the woods. Sorry, Jackie fur the bad advice.

I'm fixin' to go back out in the yard and work on the truck..."

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

BTW, Blue, I am aware that some of my suggestions are day trips..yeesch

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

wow, can I just say how much nicer you are than I am?? the blood vessels in my eyes start popping if someone stays with me for more than 3 *days* much less, 3 weeks. I know nothing about where you are in England, so I'm not much help that way, but one fun thing I did with a friend of mine who's a pain in the butt to entertain was that we planned this fantasy vacation we were going to take together. We spent all day in a travel store looking at guide books, mapped out a trip course, got on travelocity.com to check out the ticket prices and even rented some Rick Steves travel videos on the places we picked. We never did take the trip, but it was fun...and it took all day.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Well, the problem is that she doesn't want to do anything without me. And, like, she's been coming to England several times a year since she was born (her parents are from France and Spain, so it's not like she's not used to being in foreign countries), so I don't know why I have to accompany her everywhere. I've hooked her up with a couple of guys, so she's spent a couple of nights out with them, but mostly I feel like I need to do more to keep her entertained. The problem is that, around here, all there really is to do is go to the thousands of pubs and nightclubs, which we've done every single night except two. It's expensive (#3 for a pint!) and not really my 'scene,' but it's hers and she's the one who spent money to come over here, so...

We're going to London on Saturday for a party, so that'll be something. And then there's only ten days to go.

Oh, and she reads this forum, so I'm not talking smack about her behind her back. She knows of my anxiety over keeping her entertained and keeps telling me to just 'relax' and saying she doesn't want to go home (erm), but when her mother asks her what we've been doing and Jen answers, 'Shopping and going to the pub,' I feel slightly ashamed.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

I did a year-abroad-student-thing at Birmingham University, so lived in Brum (Northfield, to be precise) for a year, 1988-89. I also had a friend in Stourbridge (right where Jackie lives), and spent many weekends there, so I'm pleased I know what you're talking about. :-)
I assume you've already exhausted the novelty of walking around the pretty parks and cruising the markets. Brum proper has a famous symphony, if you're into that, and I always got a kick out of going to the cinema in England because it's so different to movie theaters here. Is the Odeon still there, on New Street? (Was it New St? *wail* I need to go back!!) The last time I was in Birmingham was 1990, so it's been awhile. There used to be a large indoor shopping center on High Street, it was across from a KFC, which was near the Odeon, and down the way a bit was an HMV. And there was a Barratt's across the street from that, beside a BHS and an inner walkway that led to the Post Office and a WHSmiths. And I used to enjoy the Bull Ring market, which I understand has been completely redone, I can't imagine how it must look now.
Northfield, which is quite near to the Cadbury factory in Selly Oak, has a lovely huge park down Bristol Road South, just past the Griffin Close student flats for Brum Uni (where I lived), the park is on land donated by the Cadbury family ages ago, and it's green and grassy and open, with trees and a big pond that's got Canadian geese and ducks and ducklings and goslings, I loved going there at sunset.

There are lots of interesting short trips you could take from Birmingham-- Stratford, Nottingham, Stoke, and oh, one other I can't think of, was it Coventry? It was just north of Brum and apparently quite posh and nice to visit, a classmate was from there and told me about it.

Were it me, however, I'd go to London. There is never a shortage of things to do and see there, and it's only 90 minutes by train from New St Station. Granted, it's very pricey to stay in London, but perhaps you know someone there, or else you could always stay at a B&B or even a youth hostel (I know, ecch!, but I lived in the Earls Court one for a month once, with my friend who worked and lived there, and it wasn't horrific. The St Paul's youth hostel is also nice, but booked solid, usually.).

God, I love England. I must get back over to visit.

And ditto what Dwanollah said, about the Duranie tour...and I know someone in Halesowen who could take you round, if you wanted. :-)
Can I stay on your floor when I come to Brum, Jacks?

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Klee, you can sleep in the spare room if you want -- if my husband is out of town. He's weird about 'online people' and only lets Jen stay because she and I have been friends for five years and have spent lots of time at each other's houses (I've spent two Christmases with her family, even). So, yes, if I can work it out with Ian.

Anyway, those were good suggestions...for people other than her. It's weird, she only likes to go shopping and out clubbing, so I think the symphony would get a full-body 'whatever' sign from her. We're going to go to Brindleyplace (a really nice new development on the canalside at Broad Street) on the next hot, sunny day, and maybe to the Jewellery Quarter (yeah, the British spelling of 'jewelry' annoys me, too).

London is a blast (she spent a couple of weeks there with a friend and her cousin from Paris before coming up here), but so expensive. The train alone is #30 (about $50), and the Tube passes and food and incidentals. Even though we're staying with a friend, it's going to cost me about #100 for the weekend. (Did I mention I'm cheap?)

Oh well. Maybe I should take her into Stourbridge and tell her to enjoy it while it lasts, since they're knocking down the entire town centre to build a new Tesco.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Jackie, sweetie, it sounds to me like you are a very generous and thoughtful hostess. Don't beat yourself up about it, honeychild! If all your friend wants to do is shop and party then have at it!

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2000

Well, it's partly selfish: I'm sick of shopping and spending #20 every night on drinks. There, you've rumbled me!

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2000

(totally off-topic)
3 pounds for a PINT?! Thank God for my $2-for-20-ounces-during-Happy- Hour brewpub!

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2000

(Klee-girl, let's you and me go, split a cheepy hotel room, and just take Jackie out for lots of pints and stuff! Yes, I'm serious!)

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2000

(Klee-girl, let's you and me go, split a cheepy hotel room, and take Jackie out for lots of pints and stuff! Yes, I'm serious!)

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2000

Well, big der on me....

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2000

Yeah, but we've found a little solution to the #3 pints: shamelessly accepting free drinks from men. I used to have a real problem with doing that, even though it's a British tradition to buy people rounds, but now I'm all accepting free drinks from guys I absolutely loathe. That, and we're drinking Malibu and Cherry Coke before we go out.

I know I'm running this forum way off-topic, but I'm already embarrassed that I started it.

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2000

Poor Jackie! Remember, you may let them buy you drinks but they can't look at you or touch your hair!!!

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2000

Hee! This guy tonight pointed at my wedding ring and said, 'That gives people the wrong impression.' This was after I'd told him that the town where he worked was where my husband also works. Der.

Anyway, I hooked Jen up with a good 'un tonight, and he bought us drinks...But only after we'd spent #30 ourselves! Seriously, we need a harem.

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2000

we're drinking Malibu and Cherry Coke

Ewwww.

I like Malibu, and I like Cherry Coke. I even like rum and coke. But the thought of Malibu and Cherry Coke together does not appeal to me at all.

-- Anonymous, August 07, 2000

Philip, I wish you'd stop beating around the bush and tell us your real feelings about Malibu and Cherry Coke.

-- Anonymous, August 07, 2000

What the hell is Malibu other than a type of car my mother used to own and an adjective to describe beige Barbie dolls?

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2000

It's a brand of cocoanut flavored rum.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2000