My sides are aching from Laughing so much. Look at all the empty seats, stop doctor please no more. Can't work for laughing. Would Marcelllino like an aisle or a window seat, Ill just fetch his coat. Daveeeeeed must wonder wot the foook is going on. Waiter there is a Ginola in my soup.

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2000

Answers

Even though this goes against everything I stand for - it's still pretty funny in parts. TEN REASONS WHY DAVID GINOLA SIGNED FOR ASTON VILLA The Truth Behind The Transfer Of The Premiership's Dishiest Player: 1) No stranger to making outrageous demands for his services, he thought they were offering him a villa. 2) There is a certain cachet of being Birmingham's most glamorous resident - Ever. 3) Unable to engineer a transfer to Spain, home of the bullfight, David has settled for Birmingham, home of the Bullring. 4) Sun-worshipping, beach-loving David asked John Gregory if there was "any sea." Imagine the tantrum that will follow David's first, highly anti-climactic trip to the National Exhibition Centre!

5) Having made a career out of taking theatrical tumbles under the slightest of challenges, it was time for his career to take a dive. (My favourite!!!). 6) L'Oreal persuaded him to go, saying that he could be their foothold in a huge, untapped new market. There's big money to be made by the company that introduces grooming products to the West Midlands!!!

7) When he heard that they were looking for "the new Beni", huge Crossroads fan David just had to go up to Brum to audition. 8) Dion "Big? It's Magnificent" Dublin is there to continue the tradition, started by Spurs' Chris Armstrong, of Ginola featuring in a side with a monumental knob up front. 9) Having exhausted all the fashionable continental restaurants in London, Ginola wanted to sample this Spaghetti Junction everyone talks about. 10) Exasperated with the French ace's Champagne Charlie ways, George Graham threatened to send him to Coventry, Daveed opted for nearby Brum; 'At least Birmingham's got an international airport,' reasoned Ginola, signing on the line which is dotted.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Apols. for the formatting, or should I say lack of.

I've just 'got' no. 4 myself = N.E.C., duh!

;-7)

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000

Highly amusing Bud! :-)

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2000